breakdown

Sunday, 2 June 2013 22:58
zvi: Reclining silhouette of a black woman: Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety (egocentric)
I've been unhappy at church for about two, two and a half months, and today I just broke down at coffee hour.

I've been going to church most weeks, but skipping out on the actual service, going to sit in the teen lounge or something, and then just going to my meeting afterward. And I've been going to church frequently for meetings during the week. And I thought that the problem was that this place that should be a source of renewal was turning into job #2, so I resolved to actually attend services and try to grab that sense of community and love back.

And then I flipped out, and I'm not sure I won't flip out tomorrow. )

But this makes me think that the reason church is making me unhappy is not just because of the unhappy things happening, but also because I am doing so much "people time" there that I am into negative cope. I mean that I am an introvert, people are hard, and the church is pushing me beyond my ability to deal with people. This almost makes me think I should see about getting some counseling, but the idea of adding one more person to talk to is literally enough to make me start crying right now, which seems counterproductive.

Also, I need to look for a job, which, hopefully, would end up with me doing interviews, so as to get hired somewhere else. But I don't have to look for a job right away, and I'm just going to have to push it off some more, I think.
zvi: self-portrait: short, fat, black dyke in bunny slippers (Default)
Because given the chance, even the person who starts out being reasonable turns into a faily asshat. Warren Lapaine (ed. of Realms of Fantasy tries to explain away Harlan Ellison's most hateful insults to Tempest Bradford after Ellison has publicly conceded that he oughtn't have said what he said. (I find it difficult to call Ellison's statement an apology.)

Additionally, WL fails to recognize the difference between apologia and apology, which, honest to goodness, makes me even more dubious about his effectiveness as an editor, a position which one always hopes is effected by someone with an affinity for the language.
zvi: Clark Kent and Lana Lang of Smallville: The Chucklehead Twins (chuckleheads!)
(a) LoudTwitter is not, in fact, the source of all evil. However, people who use LoudTwitter? The rest of us really like you much better when you set it up to cuttag your tweets.

(b) The image placeholder option is more useful now than when it was originally introduced. Livejournal introduced the option to only use the placeholder at certain size thresholds. Sadly, this is often useless as people write bad HTML and don't specify the height and width attributes, so Dreamwidth has upped the ante by allowing you to specify how images of unknown size are treated. (How do you write good HTML? <img src="http://site.tld/path/to/image.img" height="##" width="##" alt="[description of picture for screenreaders and text only browsers and dial-up users]" /> Yes, the space and the frontslash are on purpose. I told you, this is good code. That's how you do it in XHTML.)

(c) I'm totally not kidding about that subject line on comments things. It really does make life full of sunshine and puppies.
zvi: self-portrait: short, fat, black dyke in bunny slippers (Default)
1) OP: Dominant group displaying -ism at 10 o'clock! Will ignorance ever stop before my head explodes? Stop, dominant group, stop!

2) Commentor A: Discriminated against group contains members who -ism against dominant group. Discrimination is not a one way street.

3a) Secondary commentors who believe Commentor A is someone who is new to discussion of -isms and doesn't realize they're making an ass of themselves: You do realize your comment is reinforcing the dominant -ism paradigm and is likely to make people view you less than charitably? People won't appreciate your comments on the difficulty of being dominant until life works like that in many, many more cases.

3b) Secondary commentors who believe Commentor A is a troll: Asshat.

4) Commentor A: Meanness! Rudeness! Inappropriate behavior on the internets!

5a/b) All secondary commentors: No, really, asshat.

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zvi: self-portrait: short, fat, black dyke in bunny slippers (Default)
still kind of a stealthy love ninja

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