• There's literally a grave right there in the front yard.
• Ed and Stede both have a very intense "compliment my boyfriend or I'll blow this whole place up" energy. Ed glares at you until you compliment the interior decor. Stede makes very unsubtle hints for you to rave about how good Ed's cooking is.
• Towel service is fucking immaculate. And Ed probably keeps rooms stocked with all the good soap.
• You can't sleep because those two are going at it all night long. You probably assume they're having some weird orgy because they're really into cringefail roleplay sex and you hear several different names as they try to find a good plot. You hear a cat bell ringing but they definitely don't have a cat.
• Ed offers to take you fishing with him but spends the entire morning waxing poetic about his boyfriend while you do all the actual fishing.
• It takes half an hour to get to your room because they just keep doing bits and talking about all the knickknacks they've got.
• They're just absolutely embarrassing. No customer service is being done because Ed is too busy sitting in Stede's lap.
• Continental breakfast is like. Just a whole fish and marmalade set out on a table. You have to eat it anyway because Stede's face makes it very clear you're not leaving that inn until you do.

nice location but i got woken up in the middle of the night by the hosts saying they wanted me to answer a question. and that was weird enough but then the question was "if i rescued you from a near death situation and you wanted to fuck me to say thank you. would you do it straight away or would you want to have a bite to eat and a shower first." which i can't say i've ever thought about. and felt like sexual harassment. especially bc they were both nude. two stars. (would give just one but to be fair the whole question thing might have been a weird dream)