Communicating During Project Conflicts

The hardest negotiations are the personal ones. When willpower fails, empathy rebuilds the bridge. You’ll learn how shifting from control to curiosity can transform both personal and professional conflicts. Inspired by psychologist Stuart Ablon’s work on 𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮 𝘚𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 (featured in Hidden Brain: “The Battle of Wills”). We’ve all been there. The argument that loops. The colleague who digs in. The teen who shrugs, “I don’t care.” Our instinct? Push harder. Explain more. Raise our voice just a notch. But as Ablon points out, that reflex fuels resistance; it doesn’t fix it. The shift is simple, not easy: assume 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭, not 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭. Instead of “they won’t,” try “they can’t yet.” That mindset flipped a few battles in my own life. ↳ With my son, it meant slowing down instead of storming out. ↳ With a teammate, it meant saying, “Help me understand what’s blocking you,” before jumping to “We need to fix this.” Ablon refers to our usual responses as “Plan A” and “Plan C.” • Plan A: You impose your solution. Fast and firm. It may stop behavior, but teaches nothing. • Plan C: You drop the expectation altogether to keep the peace. Short-term calm, long-term cost. The real leadership move is Plan B, a conversation you do 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 someone, not 𝘵𝘰 them. It has four steps that change how you lead under pressure: 1️⃣ Empathize: Learn before you lead. ↳ Start with, “I’ve noticed [specific behavior]. What’s up?” ↳ Then pause. Let silence work. ↳ Ask follow-ups like, “Can you tell me more?” or “What makes that hard?” ↳ Your goal: Understand their concern so precisely that they say, “Exactly.” 2️⃣ Share your concern: One line, not a lecture. ↳ Once you’ve really listened, add yours clearly:    “My concern is [impact on team/client/project].” ↳ Keep it short. The fewer words, the more power they carry. 3️⃣ Collaborate: Design the plan together. ↳ Say, “How can we meet both your concern and mine?” ↳ List options on paper. ↳ Test each one: Does it work for both? Is it realistic? Will it stick? ↳ Pick one and agree on who does what. 4️⃣ Check back: Make learning visible. ↳ Schedule a follow-up. “Let’s revisit this Friday to see how it’s going.” ↳ That small loop turns accountability into coaching. I’ve used this with my team and my son. The setting changes; the principle doesn’t. You stop enforcing compliance and start teaching capability. It’s not soft. It’s disciplined. You trade control for connection, and end up with commitment. That’s real leadership, and yes, it starts at home. Next time someone resists, don’t double down.  Slow down.  Curiosity beats control. When was the last time you won the argument but lost the relationship?  What did you learn? 📌 Save this for your next tough conversation. ♻️ Share it if you know someone battling a “Plan A” moment.

#100RulesofThumb — Rule 30 Always err on the side of providing more context than what you think is necessary. —— It's common to assume that what's obvious to you is also obvious to others. But this is rarely the case. As a rule, while communicating, always assume asymmetry in information. In other words, you should always assume that the other person knows less than you think they do about a given subject, context, or project. This isn't to belittle anyone's intelligence or experience; rather, it's a safeguard against the curse of knowledge. You see, once you get good at something, you forget what it's like to be a newbie. You're in marketing, and you think everyone knows what "CTR" or "ROAS" means. Trust me, they don't. And even if they do, you're usually better off assuming they don't while documenting stuff. Because you never know who is going to go through your documentation in the future. Don't assume; explain. Likewise, if you're running behind on a project, don't go radio silent. Tell your team what's up. A simple "Need another day, still grinding" goes a long way in keeping people's trust. When you assume symmetry — that is, when you think the other person knows what you know — you're setting the stage for misunderstandings. If you're a project manager and you assume that your team knows the project's background as well as you do, you might skip crucial details when assigning tasks. This will cause needless delays and errors. Or if a team member doesn't fully understand the problem you're trying to solve, they're less likely to come up with creative solutions. They might not even know how high the ceiling is for breaking the rules. And when things go wrong due to poor communication, it's not just the project that suffers. Team members may start to lose faith in each other and in the leadership, and we all know how that goes. Hence, always provide context when communicating. Whether it's an email, a meeting, or a one-on-one chat, make sure to include the 'why' and the 'what' along with the 'how.' Another slightly hard to implement idea: After you've communicated something, ask the other person to summarize what they've understood. This will quickly reveal any gaps in their understanding. Ambiguity charges high interest, and we all pay it in lost time and screw-ups. You want to be the person who cuts through the fog. Make things crystal clear, and you'll save everyone a lot of headaches. Also, when you provide more context, you're opening yourself up feedback. Maybe someone has a better idea or a quicker solution. Maybe they'll tell you to take a breather. Either way, you're better off than working in a vacuum. No one is going to punish you for being elaborate. So be elaborate and don't leave any space for obvious questions. In the long run, it will save you a lot of time in going back and forth on trivialities.

You're three months into building something when you notice: Your engineering lead is less responsive. Design seems to be working on "exploratory" work you didn't ask for. Stakeholders start meetings with "just thinking out loud, but..." You're being undermined. And it started before you noticed. Here's what actually happened: Someone disagreed with your direction. Didn't say it in the meeting. Instead, they've been having 1-on-1s with your team saying "I'm not sure about this approach" or "seems risky" or "just want you to be aware..." They're building a shadow consensus against you. By the time you realize it, half your team has already lost confidence in the plan. The navigation: Don't confront it as "undermining." That makes it about ego. Instead, create a forcing function. Call a decision meeting. Invite the underminer. And say: "I'm sensing some misalignment. Let's get concerns on the table now. If we're going forward, everyone needs to commit. If we're not, let's decide that today." Then shut up and let them speak. Either they: 1. Voice concerns publicly (now you can address them) 2. Stay quiet (now they own the decision) 3. Express doubt (now you know who else agrees and can make a real call) What you don't do: Try to win them over privately. That's what they want - to keep the disagreement invisible while eroding your support. Make the conflict explicit and time-bound. The people who undermine in private rarely have the conviction to disagree in public. Have you ever realized too late that someone was undermining you? #ProductManagement #Leadership #Stakeholders #PMLife

Dan and Todd? They used to be best friends. But things got messy, and now they can't stand each other. Dan's ready to move on, but Todd? Not so much. Problem is, they work on the same team you manage, and now Dan's knocking on your door, hoping you'll step in and fix things. Sure, you could tell them, "Just avoid each other and carry on." Sounds easy, right? Why make two people who aren't friends anymore work together if they don't want to? But here's the catch: avoiding this issue might be an easy short-term fix, but it's not a long-term solution that actually works. In most workplaces, people can't just steer clear of each other, especially if they need to interact on the daily. So instead of hoping it all blows over, try these steps to get Dan and Todd back on the same page professionally—even if the friendship ship has sailed. Step 1: Acknowledge the drama, privately. Don't cross your fingers and hope they'll magically "work it out." Have a quick, private chat with each of them to figure out what's going on. Listening to them (without playing favorites) shows them you're taking this seriously. Step 2: Shift the focus to work goals. The end game? You want them thinking about work, not their personal beef. Remind them that the team has goals, and their collaboration matters for everyone's success (including their own). Step 3: Set some ground rules. Lay down clear expectations for communication, respect, and behavior. They don't have to be besties, but they do need to keep it professional and act with respect. That way, everyone's on the same page. Step 4: If it's still tense, bring in a mediator. Sometimes a neutral third party can get things out in the open, defuse the tension, and help them both refocus on moving forward. Step 5: Keep an eye on things. Conflict resolution is never a "one and done." Check in now and then to make sure they're meeting expectations and catching any new issues early. Bonus step: Document everything. Keep records of your conversations and any actions taken. If Todd's behavior begins to impact the team or work quality, documentation will support any future action you might need to take. Bottom line: Telling them to avoid each other sounds easy, but it's not sustainable. By helping them work through this professionally, you're building a culture of respect and collaboration—and a stronger team all around.

Avoiding conflict doesn’t prevent harm. It actually limits your team’s ability to do their best work. I often see this play out in the friction between fundraising and programs. Everyone’s trying to move fast, meet urgent needs, and serve the mission - sometimes without the full picture. I once worked with a brilliant, committed development lead. She worked tirelessly to unlock new resources. But sometimes, a fundraising win came at a quiet cost to the program team: fatigue, shifting priorities, and disrupted service delivery. I’ll never forget when she proposed a Saturday morning event involving direct-service staff and youth. It wasn’t an outrageous ask, but the timing was rough. The team was already stretched thin, and this extra commitment felt like too much in a moment of burnout. We’d hit an impasse. And as the Program Lead, I knew we had to address it head-on. I sat down with her and said: “𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵. 𝘐𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘺. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘶𝘱, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦. 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩. 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘴 𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬.” That conversation changed everything. Together, we created a simple tool: green flag, yellow flag, red flag - to assess new fundraising ideas based on programmatic organizational capacity. Conflict isn’t always about saying no. Sometimes it’s about learning how to say yes more intentionally, and together. If you’re facing tension on your team, don’t bury it. Use it to build trust and strengthen your capacity to lead. 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐬: 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐝? 𝐅𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝? Let’s trade notes and build better bridges.

How Do You Talk About a Problem Without Creating One? Sometimes the hardest part of solving a problem… is talking about it. We’ve all been there: we see a risk, a concern, or a challenge that needs to be addressed - but we know if we come at it too directly, the other person may get defensive, resistant, or shut down entirely. So how do you raise the issue without making it an issue? Here’s a simple 3-step approach my coaching clients have found effective: 1. ALIGN ON THE OBJECTIVE Start by aligning on the higher-level shared outcome you both care about. ➡️ “I want to make sure this partnership is successful for both of us.” ➡️ “What matters most to me is that we enjoy this trip together.” ➡️ “I really value our relationship and want to keep building trust.” 2. SHARE THE CONCERN Identify the risk or challenge you see - without blame. This isn’t about what you want, it’s about an issue that could get in the way of the shared goal you both want to achieve. ➡️ “One thing I’m concerned about is that we may have different perspectives on timing.” ➡️ “I’m wondering if we might have different priorities, and I don’t want that to derail us.” 3. INVITE COLLABORATION Ask the other person to help solve it. This shows trust and humility, lowers resistance, gives them power, and reduces resistance. ➡️ “How do you think we could make sure we stay aligned?” ➡️ “Do you have ideas for how we can navigate that?” At Echelon Front, we refer to this as the INDIRECT APPROACH. It isn’t just about conflict avoidance - it’s about influence, humility, and partnership. It keeps the focus on the long-term objective and shows that you’re not trying to control the conversation - you’re trying to collaborate through it. Leadership isn't about having the best answers. It’s about creating the conditions for the best outcomes. #Leadership #Communication #Trust #EmotionalIntelligence #ConflictResolution

Communication is the lifeblood of successful project management, especially when facing delays and budget overruns. When projects veer off course, transparent and proactive communication becomes even more critical. It's not just about conveying information; it's about building trust, managing expectations, and demonstrating accountability. By keeping clients informed of challenges, progress, and mitigation strategies, service providers can maintain credibility and foster collaborative problem-solving. This level of engagement shows respect for the client's investment and helps preserve the relationship, even in difficult circumstances. Moreover, consistent communication during project setbacks allows for timely adjustments and informed decision-making. It provides opportunities to reassess priorities, reallocate resources, and potentially redefine project scope or timelines. By involving clients in these discussions, service providers can ensure alignment on revised goals and demonstrate their commitment to project success. Remember, clients are more likely to be understanding of delays when they feel they're part of the solution rather than being kept in the dark. Effective communication in challenging times can transform potential conflicts into opportunities for strengthening partnerships and showcasing problem-solving skills. #ProjectManagement #ClientCommunication #TransparencyInBusiness #EffectiveLeadership #ProjectSuccess

Overcommunicate! If there’s one thing I’ve learned from working on same/different clients and recently on a CME project, it’s this: Do not assume anything. Be proactive and ask questions. I learned this firsthand while working on a Rett syndrome needs assessment and slide deck. A few key moments could have thrown the project entirely off track: ➡️ Outdated prevalence data: The numbers the client provided were years old. We would have misrepresented key disease burden stats if I hadn’t double-checked against the latest research. ➡️ Shifting focus mid-project: Halfway through, the client realized they needed the slide deck to focus more on emerging therapies rather than early diagnosis. Luckily, I had been sending regular updates, so we caught it early—before I spent hours going in the wrong direction. ➡️ Last-minute SME scheduling issues: One of our key neurologists had to reschedule their review at the last minute. Because we had built-in buffer time for feedback, it didn’t cause a crisis. Lesson learned? Over-communication isn’t annoying. It’s essential. ✔️ Clarify deadlines & expectations upfront esp. for multi-phase projects. ✔️ Check in regularly. A quick “Here’s where we are” email can prevent major rewrites later. ✔️ Flag potential issues early, whether it’s missing data, SME/KOL delays, or shifting goals. 💡 Pro Tip: Clients appreciate writers who proactively communicate—not just react when things go sideways. Clear communication keeps projects on track, avoids wasted effort, and makes you the kind of partner they want to work with again. Now, I’d love to hear from you! 💬 How do you handle communication challenges in CME or other projects? Have you ever saved a project by speaking up at the right time? Let’s swap insights! 👇 #CMEWriting #MedicalWriting #MedicalEditing #MedComms #FreelanceSuccess #KJCmediahealth #Sciencewriting #scienceediting

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in manufacturing is that solving technical problems is only half the battle, managing people is just as critical. During a capacity increase project at Tesla, I led the installation of new equipment. Everything was on track....until it wasn’t. The controls engineers responsible for integrating the system hit a major roadblock: One was focused on conveyance controls. The other was working on the machine we were installing. Neither could agree on how to align their work, and progress came to a halt. As the PM, I knew this wasn’t a problem that could be fixed with technical knowhow. It required something else: people skills. Here’s What I Did: 🔍 Identified the Root Cause: I sat down with each engineer separately to understand their frustrations and concerns. 🤝 Facilitated Honest Communication: In a collaborative meeting, I encouraged both engineers to share their perspectives and find common ground. 🎯 Aligned Everyone on the Goal: I refocused the team on the bigger picture: increasing capacity and meeting the project deadline. The Outcome? The engineers not only resolved their differences but collaborated effectively to complete the controls integration ahead of schedule. The equipment was installed, tested, and operational, delivering the capacity increase we needed. What I Learned: 1️⃣ People > Processes: Technical skills alone can’t move a project forward when people are stuck. 2️⃣ Communication is Key: Creating space for open dialogue can unlock solutions faster than any manual. 3️⃣ Leadership is Listening: Sometimes the most valuable thing you can do is step back, listen, and guide the team toward resolution. This project reinforced that managing a successful install isn’t just about the machines—it’s about the people behind them. 📢 What’s a time when you had to step in as a mediator to keep a project on track? Let’s share our experiences and lessons learned! #Leadership #Manufacturing #ProblemSolving #Teamwork #ProjectManagement

One of the reasons conflict can be challenging to deal with is defensiveness. When people feel attacked, blamed or accused of something, the chances of that conversation ending well are slim to none. Instead, we must be intentional with creating safety during a conversation. One of the ways we can do this is by leveraging “I” Statements. This approach helps you to clearly articulate how you feel, what specifically made you feel that way, and what you would prefer instead. This makes it more about how you experienced a past event rather than what someone did or did not do. Example: I felt disrespected during our last team meeting when you read all of my slides during our presentation. I interpreted that as you not believing I was competent enough to handle those slides even though that’s what we agreed upon prior to the meeting. What I would have preferred is for us to stick to the plan that we outlined or have a brief discussion before the meeting if you wanted to make some last minute changes. I’m curious how you view that situation and would love to hear your thoughts on what i just shared. #IStatements #ConflictResolution