Encouraging Honest Feedback in Meetings

If honesty feels risky, silence becomes survival. That’s not safety. That’s a signal. ⤷ People overthink simple replies ⤷ Honest feedback stays in drafts ⤷ Small issues turn into silent exits ⤷ Meetings end with “fake” alignment ⤷ Team members agree just to exit the call ⤷ Everyone says “yes” but means “not really” ⤷ People don’t ask questions, they play it safe ⤷ Small problems grow because no one speaks up In quiet cultures, performance looks fine. But under the surface? ≫ There’s fear. ≫ There’s distance. ≫ There’s guessing. Psychological safety isn’t a buzzword. It’s what allows real work to happen. Here’s what actually helps: ➤ Thank people for the truth, even when it’s hard ➤ Ask, “What do you need from me right now?” ➤ Ask for honesty and listen without defense ➤ Fix what’s raised, not just “who” raised it ➤ Act on what’s said, don’t just collect it ➤ Give calm feedback, not loud fixes ➤ Make it safe to say, “I don’t agree” ➤ Protect people who speak up People stop trying when honesty costs them too much. The fix isn’t a new tool. It’s safer conversations. And your team’s future depends on them. P.S. When was the last time someone gave you the truth and it helped? 👑 Follow me if you’re building teams where real talk feels safe. ♻️ Share this with someone who listens to understand, not to react.

“We have a feedback culture.”   That’s what the slide says in your onboarding deck.  But here’s what the team actually feels: → “If I speak up, I’ll be labeled ‘difficult.’” → “If I share the real issue, I’ll lose trust.” → “If I name what’s broken, I’ll be the problem.” That’s not feedback. That’s fear. And fear doesn’t build trust. It builds silence. Here’s how to start changing that 👇 1️⃣ Ask questions they’re scared to answer. Try: “What’s one thing we’re not talking about that we should be?” 2️⃣ Respond to feedback like it’s a gift especially when it stings. If you defend, they won’t bring it again. 3️⃣ Give feedback in real time, not once a year. Waiting for performance reviews = waiting too long. 4️⃣ Model emotional regulation. Your tone and energy determine if the room opens up or shuts down. 5️⃣ Normalize disagreement. If your team always agrees with you, they probably don’t feel safe enough to be honest. 6️⃣ Show them how to speak up then protect them when they do. Psychological safety isn’t just permission. It’s protection. 7️⃣ Do your own work. Your self-awareness sets the ceiling for theirs. No inner work = no outer trust. You don’t earn trust through words. You earn it through nervous systems. Because if people can’t breathe around you, they won’t be honest with you. Want to lead a team where truth feels safe? Start with how you listen. - ♻️ Repost to help leaders prioritize psychological safety 🔔 Follow me Julia Laszlo for radically honest leadership talk

Ever asked for feedback and gotten crickets? 🦗 You're not imagining it. When you have positional power, asking "how am I doing?" puts people in an impossible spot. Giving you feedback is a social risk. And the more power you hold, the bigger that risk feels to the people around you. So they smile and say "everything's great!" while quietly wondering if being honest will cost them something. I've learned a different approach that actually works. 🤎 Instead of the wide open "give me feedback" request, try being more specific Something like: "I'm working on making sure my communications are clearer after our meetings. Can you help me by noticing how I communicated X today?" Even better? Ask them in advance so they can watch for it. Then follow up: "What did you see? How did you experience that?" This shift does a few things: ✨ It names something specific you're working on (which signals humility) ✨ It gives them permission to help you (not critique you) ✨ It creates a contained space that feels safer to engage with You're not asking them to evaluate you. You're inviting them to support your growth by sharing their experience. That's a very different energy. And people can feel the difference. The foundation underneath all of this is psychological safety. But even in safer environments, specificity makes it easier for people to show up honestly with you. What's one thing you're actively working on as a leader that you could invite specific feedback on this week? If you want support thinking through how to create more honest feedback loops on your team, send me a DM. This is the kind of thing we dig into together. 🌿 #LeadershipDevelopment #FeedbackCulture #PowerAwareLeadership

The reason people avoid giving honest feedback is not conflict. It is fear of damaging the relationship. So they soften it. Delay it. Or make it so vague the other person cannot actually change. Then the behavior repeats. A better question is: What would make this conversation safe enough for the truth to land? Not: “You need to be better with stakeholders.” Try: “In yesterday’s meeting, I noticed the client stopped engaging after the third interruption.” Pause. Then ask: “What do you think was happening for them in that moment?” That one shift changes everything. The person is not forced into defense. They are invited into awareness. And awareness creates ownership much faster than criticism. This is what makes feedback brain-safe. The truth is still there. But now the nervous system can stay open long enough to use it. The goal is not to make people feel bad enough to change. It is to make the new behavior feel clear enough to choose.

Someone said something in a meeting this week that they'd been sitting on for a month. Not because the problem was new. Not because the moment was finally right. Because there was a structure that made it safe to say. I've been real before about a gap at Stitch: we're not great at direct feedback. And I've been part of that. I've let conversations close without saying the hard thing. Watched the energy in a room and made the quiet choice to protect it. That instinct — preserve the comfort, don't disrupt what's working — isn't leadership. It just feels like leadership in the moment. A few weeks ago, Jolene Chan mentioned a framework from her time at Bluewolf. Three words. I wrote them down, sat with them, then put them into action. Win. Learn. Change. At the close of any meeting — a client call, a 1:1, a debrief still standing in the lobby of an onsite — you take a few minutes. Everyone answers the same three questions. Win: What specifically went well? Not "solid meeting." The prep. The question that changed the room's temperature. Name it out loud. Let the person hear it. Learn: What shifted? What do you know now that you didn't going in? Change: What would you do differently? Different price. Different framing. Different sequence. No blame, no target — just honesty meeting honesty. That third one is the whole game. When everyone answers it at the same time, the structure absorbs the charge. Nobody's exposed. Nobody's defending. The room just opens up. Feedback without structure is a loaded silence. Feedback with structure is a conversation. The person who finally said that thing they'd been sitting on for a month? They didn't get braver. They just got a place to put it That's all most of us need. Try it once this week. Win. Learn. Change. In that order.

🤐 "Dead Air" on Zoom? It’s Not Disengagement — It’s Cultural. 🌏 Your global team is brilliant, but meetings are met with silence. You ask for input, and… nothing. It’s not that they don’t care. It’s cultural. In many cultures, challenging a leader publicly can feel disrespectful. Speaking up might risk "losing face." So, instead of collaboration, you get cautious nods, and critical ideas die quietly. 💥 The cost? Missed feedback, hidden conflicts, derailed timelines, and talent feeling unseen and unheard. But it doesn’t have to be this way. 🚀 Here’s how to encourage real participation and build trust across cultures — starting today. 1️⃣ Invite opinions privately first. Many cultures value privacy and may hesitate to disagree publicly. Before the meeting, send out an agenda and ask for input by email or private chat. This gives team members time to reflect and feel safer sharing. 2️⃣ Create "round robin" sharing moments. During the call, explicitly invite each person to share, one by one. Use phrases like: "I’d love to hear a quick insight from everyone, no wrong answers." This reduces the fear of interrupting or "stepping out of line." 3️⃣ Model vulnerability as a leader. Share your own uncertainties or challenges first. For example: "I’m not sure this is the best approach — I’d really value your perspective." When you show it’s safe to be open, your team will follow. 4️⃣ Acknowledge and validate contributions publicly. After someone shares, affirm them clearly. For example: "Thank you for that perspective — it really helps us see this from a new angle." This builds psychological safety and encourages future participation. 5️⃣ Use cultural "mirroring" techniques. Mirror verbal and non-verbal cues appropriate to different cultures (e.g., nodding, using supportive phrases). Show respect for varying communication styles instead of forcing a "one-size-fits-all" dynamic. ✨Imagine meetings where every voice is heard and your team’s full potential is unlocked. Ready to stop the silence and turn diversity into your superpower? #CulturalCompetence #GlobalLeadership #InclusiveTeams #PsychologicalSafety #CrossCulturalCommunication 

A senior leader once asked me to stay on after a meeting. She looked at me and said, "What did you really think of how that went?" I knew exactly what I thought 👇 The attorney in that room had been out of line.  He had undermined her in front of everyone, and the whole dynamic shifted because of it. I relayed this to her, specifically and calmly. She stayed on the line for ten more minutes to talk it through. That conversation changed how she saw me,  As I gave her something real when most people would have played it safe. Upward feedback is one of the most underdeveloped skills I see at the VP and Director level. Because we just choose the clean, or nice, version when the moment comes. And over time, that breaks down the relationship more than honesty ever would. Senior leaders notice when they are not getting the full picture. Here is what makes upward feedback useful: 1️⃣ Specific over general. "I thought he was a bit off", says nothing. "He pushed back in a way that undermined your authority in front of the room" is insight. Action: Before you speak, ask yourself if you can point to the exact moment you noted. 2️⃣ Observation over opinion. Plainly state what you saw. You are there to give something they can use. Action: Lead with a fact, so you can separate what happened from how you felt about it. 3️⃣ Composure over emotion. Don't let ego and emotion get in the way of useful feedback. Prioritize relaying the information as reliably as possible. Action: If you are still affected by what happened, wait before you speak. When the moment arrives, name what you observed and connect it to the impact it had. Then, close with what you believe would serve them. Give your perspective, not a verdict. The leaders who earn genuine trust upward are the ones willing to say what others won't. Have you ever softened upward feedback and later wished you hadn't? Let me know in the comments. Every weekday, I publish a short leadership video inside The 5-Minute Leader newsletter. I coach you through real situations using essential frameworks. Subscribe here for more: https://lnkd.in/ezCguzc7 ♻️ Repost this to help another leader in your network give honest feedback. And follow me, Cicely Simpson, for leadership content that gets into the rooms most people avoid.