Creating Space for Authentic Conversations Between Women Leaders

I’m building something I wish existed. I’m a wife. A mom. And I own a company in a male-dominated industry. Most days I’m confident in how I lead. But if I’m honest it can feel isolating at the top. Not because I’m incapable. But because I carry weight that not many people fully understand. Payroll. Margins. Hiring and firing. Growth pressure. Being present at home. Taking care of my health. Being a good friend. And still showing up like a bulldog when I need to so I’m not pushed around. Sometimes the loneliness isn’t about being in a room full of men. It’s about being in a room full of people and realizing very few truly get the pressure you’re under. So I’m starting a peer group for women in the trades. Bi-weekly virtual meetings. Structured and intentional (not a vent session). Confidential. A private Marco Polo or WhatsApp group for real-time support. Small enough to matter. Strong enough to challenge each other. This will be a curated group. For women who: • Are owners or senior decision-makers • Carry real responsibility (payroll, margins, people) • Run $1M+ businesses or lead substantial teams • Are growth-minded and accountable • Can give and receive direct feedback • Value confidentiality and consistency This is not therapy. Not a complaint circle. Not a networking club. This is a leadership sharpening room. If you’re a female owner or senior leader in restoration, construction, HVAC, plumbing, electrical, or another trade — and this resonates — comment or message me. If enough of us are carrying this weight, we shouldn’t be doing it alone.

Why did I spend an hour this week talking about laundry and dishes in a women’s leadership group? Because we cannot talk about women and leadership without talking about the division of labor at home. This came up almost immediately in a group of women in leadership on Monday. Not as a side conversation. Not as a “nice to have.” As a core leadership issue. Because here’s what happens when the balance at home is uneven: It’s not just about who does the dishes. It’s about who is tracking the dishes. Who is noticing they need to be done. Who is holding the mental list of everything else that comes next. That invisible layer takes time. It takes cognitive energy. It interferes with rest. And over time, it shapes who has the bandwidth to think strategically, raise their hand, or step into bigger roles. This is why, in every women’s leadership group I run inside organizations, we end up here. Talking about how to have these conversations at home. How to renegotiate roles. How to step out of patterns that feel “just easier” but quietly cost us. Because if we ignore this, we end up treating leadership development as if it happens in a vacuum. It doesn’t. It happens in the context of real lives, real families, and very uneven expectations. This is also why I wrote about this in my upcoming book - including a full chapter on male allies and what real support actually looks like at home and at work. And it’s a conversation I love bringing into organizations, because once we name it, everything shifts. If we want to support women’s growth at work, we have to be willing to look at what’s happening outside of it too. Otherwise, we’re asking women to lead while carrying a weight no one has named. And that’s not a leadership problem. That’s a systems problem. If this is something your organization is starting to think about, I’d love to bring this conversation to your team. Have you seen this show up in your own life or workplace?

I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy

𝗢𝗡 𝗕𝗘𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗗 I was once in a meeting where I relayed an idea. I was a VP. There was another male VP in the meeting. And our boss. The meeting went on as if I didn't say anything. Then, the male VP relayed the same idea. And the boss said, "Great idea!" The oversight wasn't necessarily intended. It manifested an unconscious bias that often goes unnoticed in our daily interactions. Recognizing this is the first step toward making meaningful changes. When a woman states an idea, it may be overlooked, but everyone notices when a man repeats it. This is called the “stolen idea.” When a male coworker runs away with a woman’s idea, remind everyone it originated with her by saying something like, “Great idea! I loved it when Katie originally brought it up, and I’m glad you reiterated it.” If someone takes your idea, you can speak up for yourself by saying, “Thanks for picking up on that idea. Here’s my thought. . .” (then add something new). Ways that we can make sure women’s ideas are heard: 1. Invite other women to speak 2. Distribute speaking time equally 3. Ask to hear from women who are being interrupted and spoken over 4. Amplify other women’s ideas by repeating them and giving credit 5. Praise and showcase other women’s work 6. Create systems to distribute “office housework,” such as note-taking, in meetings 7. Share public speaking opportunities with women who have less power or privilege 8. Share pronouns In reflecting on this experience, I'm reminded of the importance of RAW leadership: Being 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟 in acknowledging our biases and striving for equity, Being 𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗩𝗘 in amplifying and crediting ideas regardless of their source, and recognizing the 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗧𝗛𝗬 impact of ensuring every voice is heard and valued. By adopting these practices, we can dismantle unconscious biases and create a more inclusive environment where everyone feels seen and heard. How do you ensure all voices are heard in your spaces?

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘨𝘦, 𝘢 𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘱 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘰𝘯? They were all turning points—the kind that crack open your identity and whisper: “𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐦 𝐈 𝐧𝐨𝐰?” In February, I had the privilege of facilitating and holding space for a deeply personal, storytelling-led leadership session on career and life transitions- A closed-room gathering of women leaders supported by Pankaj Rai (He/Him/His) -our ally and co-created with the dynamic Prof. Vasanthi Srinivasan, Professor of OB and HR at Indian Institute of Management Bangalore, as moderator. These weren’t polished #LinkedIn success stories. They were raw, tender, sometimes unfinished narratives of change. And in that space—intimate, brave, and honest—we saw the power of being witnessed. Irina Ghose, MD, at Microsoft, India, spoke about her journey of experiencing motherhood guilt when leaving her toddler behind for a high-stakes US assignment—only to be asked for her résumé the night before departure. She carried the weight of “India Shining.” 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘦. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥. Teja Manakame, ex-VP, Dell Technologies, and one of the first women in the Indian Air Force, started over in IT with colleagues a decade younger. Then came sudden vision loss—a health scare that made her rethink everything. Later, she left her Director role in the corporate world for the social sector. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦. Geetha Manjunath, Founder of Niramai Health Analytix, a soft-spoken scientist, helped build India’s first supercomputer and earned a PhD at 40. But it was the loss of a cousin to breast cancer that moved her most. When her company shelved a healthtech project, she asked: 𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵, 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭? 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘕𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘪. As the facilitator, I wasn’t just guiding the room. I was inviting pause. Creating space for truth-telling, head-nodding, and sighs of recognition. Every woman in the circle was living her own transition. And for once, she didn’t have to do it alone. Transitions are rarely linear.  Often messy.  Always sacred. They invite us to ask harder questions. To stretch.  To shed. To make meaning in the in-between. So here’s a gentle provocation for you today: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞? You don’t have to have it all figured out. Sometimes, you need to feel your way forward.

After two decades of coaching high-achieving women leaders, I've observed something that rarely gets discussed in leadership circles. The higher you climb, the more isolated you become. Not by choice, but by circumstance. Recent data confirms what I see consistently: Women in top positions report 34% higher rates of workplace isolation than their male counterparts. More telling, 72% report having no safe space to process strategic challenges with peers who genuinely understand their position. This isn't about loneliness—it's about the absence of strategic thinking partners who operate at your caliber. The women who transform fastest aren't those with the most experience. They're the ones who recognize that their next breakthrough requires alliance, not just more individual effort. That's what drove me to create a space designed specifically for the unique challenges that only make sense to someone leading at the 0.5% level. I've written about this phenomenon and what becomes possible when exceptional women move from isolation to strategic alliance. The full piece explores why traditional networking falls short and how eight carefully selected women are pioneering a new leadership paradigm. Link to the full article is here below. The question isn't whether you've achieved enough to qualify for this conversation. It's whether you're ready to stop carrying the weight of leadership alone. #womeninleadership #ExecutiveCoaching #FemaleLeadership #MasterMind

5 Insights From a PHOENIXUS Road Trip At first glance, our recent mid-week retreat to Johor Bahru looked like a simple getaway. An intimate group stepping away from our busy schedules for food exploration, cafe conversations, wellness experiences & retail discovery across the vibrant Johor Bahru lifestyle scene. But as often happens when we spend unstructured time together, the experience revealed something deeper. Beyond the meals, cafes & conversations, the getaway showed how- 1. Strong networks are built through shared experiences Formal events introduce people. But Shared experiences build trust. Whether over a dim sum table, during a walk between cafes, or while reflecting together after a long day, meaningful relationships deepen when we engage with one another beyond structured settings. 2. The most valuable conversations often happen off the agenda Interestingly, many of the most thoughtful discussions during the trip occurred after meals were finished. Leadership challenges, personal transitions, career reflections and future aspirations emerged naturally when time and space allowed dialogue to unfold without pressure. 3. High-performing individuals benefit from intentional pauses Modern leadership environments demand constant momentum. Yet moments of rest & reflection — even in the form of short getaways— create the mental space needed for new ideas & perspectives to surface. 4. Holistic wellbeing strengthens resilience Wellness experiences shows how leadership sustainability requires attention not only to intellectual growth, but also to physical & emotional wellbeing. I’m glad we’ve got all of that within PHOENIXUS! 5. Community is one of the most powerful leadership enablers Perhaps the most enduring outcome of the retreat was the strengthening of relationships within the PHOENIXUS community. When people feel supported within a trusted network, they are more willing to share openly, challenge ideas constructively & collaborate meaningfully. As PHOENIXUS continues to grow its network of women leaders, these lived experiences will be an important part of our philosophy. While structured programmes & leadership dialogues form the backbone of our work, it is often the shared experiences between them that transform networks into genuine communities. We look forward to continuing these engagements with our upcoming PHOENIXUS gatherings & the next network retreats planned for June 2026! Watch out for those if you are keen to join us! Happy Friday everyone! #Phoenixus #WomenLeadership #LeadershipCommunity #LeadershipDevelopment #WomenSupportingWomen #CommunityBuilding

Hard truths are uncomfortable. But leadership isn’t about comfort. It’s about confronting reality, especially when it is the lived experience of women in your organisation. I have lost count of how many leaders I have briefed, from mid-level managers to board directors, who are genuinely shocked when confronted with the facts about how women experience their workplace. Truth bomb! Surprise is not a strategy. Denial is not leadership. Ignorance is not innocence. If you don’t intentionally and regularly listen to the women in your organisation, you’re failing them and your business. In this article, I’m not just telling you why you need to listen — I’m giving you the exact steps on how to do it. This includes my Leaders Guide to Listening (to Women). It’s designed to take you beyond dashboards and surveys into honest, meaningful conversations that will change how you lead.

The spaces I value most as a facilitator are the ones where something quietly shifts. Where people don’t just learn something — they see themselves differently. This was one of those spaces. With a group of women leaders, we explored the invisible scripts that often shape how we show up: “I need to work twice as hard.” “I shouldn’t take up too much space.” “Others probably know more than I do.” Through the 3R process — Recognise, Reflect, Rewrite — we didn’t try to push past these beliefs. We sat with them. We understood them. And then, slowly, we rewrote them — into something more honest and useful. The Achievement Jar was a simple yet powerful part of the process. A place to name the wins we usually brush aside. Because noticing your own progress is part of leading. This wasn’t a session about changing people. It was about helping them come back to what’s already true. #WomenInLeadership #RewriteTheScript #LeadershipIdentity #PsychologicalSafety #CelebrateYourWins #EmergingLeaders #RoopshreeSurana

Success can be isolating - but what if the cure for loneliness lies not in being less ambitious, dimming your light, or settling below your potential, but in connecting with others just as driven as you? We continue from our post yesterday, addressing women in leadership who identify as successful, yet feeling lonely or alone in their leadership journey. Now, for many women leaders, the pressures of leadership can create barriers to meaningful connections. However, research shows that support networks both within and outside of work are powerful antidotes to this isolation. Building these intentional connections provides the emotional support, authentic relationships, shared experiences, and practical support that help women leaders not just survive, but truly thrive. Fostering these networks can be a game-changer for you as a woman in leadership. Research from Harvard Business Review reveals that women in senior leadership roles often find it difficult to form genuine peer networks within their organizations. Thus, it becomes harder to find the emotional safety needed to discuss the unique pressures you face. Intentional networking with other women in leadership, both inside and outside of the organization, is crucial. These networks don’t just provide career advancement opportunities, but they create a space for shared experiences, where women can openly discuss challenges, strategies, and successes without fear of judgment. This area is personal to me because it was part of my experience as a senior leader. I had a couple of false starts as I began looking for help. The initial people I reached out to and ask for support were not able to grasp what it was that I was looking for. That was really disappointing. However, the need was still there. I continued to search and explore possible spaces I could fit in as well as peers who could relate with what I was going through. Step by step out of my comfort zone led me to a thriving support community that continues to this day. Research from HBR shows that leaders who have strong support networks experience higher resilience, better decision-making, and increased job satisfaction, all of which enhance both personal well-being and professional performance. Building a support network isn’t just a way to cope with loneliness. It is a pathway to more fulfilling and impactful leadership. When women leaders invest in authentic connections with friends, peers, mentors, and coaches, they open doors to shared wisdom, mutual encouragement, and new perspectives that empower them to lead with confidence. A supportive network essential for women leaders who want to thrive, inspire others, and create lasting change. Do you have a support network in place? Or, are you searching for one? #leadership #africa #leadershipdevelopment #professionalwomen #personaldevelopment