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notalwaysright_feedRead Purple Rain
I'm in a local convenience store and pharmacy, also in my college town, when a young college-aged guy comes up to the counter. He has a purple soda (I forget which, likely grape) and some Ipecac (back when it used to be sold).
Customer: "How much of this do I need to take to hurl?"
Read Purple Rain
notalwaysright_feedRead Change Of Mind
Customer: "Counting difficult for you, eh?"
Me: "Hehe, math was never my strongest subject."
Customer: "That's why you ended up in a dead-end retail job instead of going to college."
Read Change Of Mind
notalwaysright_feedRead The Benjamin Button Bar Crawl
As we pull up, it hits me that I don't have my license with me. I wasn't the driver, so I didn't think to grab it. We're a ways away from the house, so I feel bad having ruined the trip, as we will have to go back, get my ID, then come back to the store again.
notalwaysright_feedRead Ignorance Is A Grill Thing
Customer's Son: "What's that yellow stuff?"
Me: "Excuse me, sir, what yellow stuff?"
Customer's Son: "That yellow stuff you're putting all over the burger."
notalwaysright_feedRead Not The Kind Of Ride Where You Can Take A Backseat
Me: "Hi there, sir. Just a quick heads-up that some guests find this ride a bit uncomfortable, depending on body shape and the restraint design. I just want to make sure you have the best experience."
Customer: "Are you calling me fat?"
notalwaysright_feed
Customer: *Hands me a $100 bill.*
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, I only have $5 bills in my drawer. Do you have something smaller?"
Customer: *Just blankly looks at me and doesn’t say anything.*
notalwaysright_feedRead This Friendship Is Blue Screening
Apparently, [Friend] had been intentionally vague about what had happened when the computer broke, but at one point had mentioned my name without thinking. He wasn't trying to place blame on me; he'd made it clear when his mom asked that the computer had broken only after I left once, he realized his mistake in mentioning my name.
dessertnowdinnerlate_feed
The post Chocolate Chip Coffee Cake appeared first on Dessert Now Dinner Later.
notalwaysright_feedRead The Eight Escape
My manager takes an order over the phone for what she thinks is "a chicken plate." The customer comes in to pick it up and immediately explodes.
Customer: "I ordered eight plates! Eight! Now my whole plan is ruined because I have to wait!"
Read The Eight Escape
notalwaysright_feedWe use a Kanban-like app to keep track of our projects. It has a very user-friendly interface, but it has several useful features that not many people are bothered to learn. On the 7th of June, we were notified that a project had encountered a setback because a special tool was not made available to […]
notalwaysright_feedWe’re traveling from Switzerland through Italy by train. We took a scenic mountain train in Switzerland then did a transfer to the train in Italy. On the swiss train, as we approached the border, a grand line developed outside the restroom. I decided I did not need to pee that badly as I could pee […]
notalwaysright_feedRead Almost The Honeymoon Suite
An older guy starts checking in:
Me: "May I have your last name, please?"
Guest: *Smiling.* "Only if you marry me."
notalwaysright_feedRead The Devil May Cry, But These Kids Definitely Will
Manager: "A mom just called. Her son has some friends over. She overheard them planning to prank-call the store, so she gave me a heads-up and instructions."
notalwaysright_feedRead Humanity Has Powered Down
Trainer: "The technical knowledge is one thing… but the ability to sound professional when given reasons to lose hope for the human race dozens of times a day is another."
Me: "The callers can't be that bad, surely?"
notalwaysright_feed
I'm in the lobby of a hotel in Kraków, Poland. I overhear two women walk up to one of the concierges and start complaining.
Guest #1: "Why did you recommend we go to Auschwitz?!"
Guest #2: "That place was depressing as h***!"
notalwaysright_feedRead The Birds And The Bee-lief Systems
Customer: "I get that this is a godless world, but do you have to have these… things on such clear display! Kids can see them!"
I look around the counter and see she's pointing at the condoms.
notalwaysright_feedRead The Last Thing These Kids Need Is A Red Bull
Our store had a slight lack of cashiers, so we had some lines going back a bit. I was quickly scanning when, suddenly, a family I'd never seen before came to my line. The kid is absolutely screaming:
Kid: "I WANT RED BULL!"
Parents: "Alright, go grab them!"
notalwaysright_feed
I'm about four years old, staying overnight at my grandparents' house. I watch my grandpa take out his dentures before bed.
Four-Year-Old Me: *Stares, stunned.*
I immediately start poking around inside my own mouth.
notalwaysright_feedRead The Meow-nipulator
Friend: "How was she? Not too much trouble, I hope?"
Me: "Mostly fine. I didn't realise how much assistance she needed, though."
Friend: *Blinks.* "Assistance? What assistance?"
Read The Meow-nipulator
notalwaysright_feedRead Sassy Classy
Flight Attendant: "Wow! You're four years old? Are you in school?"
Little Boy: *Looking at her like she's an idiot.* "No, I'm in an airplane."
Read Sassy Classy
notalwaysright_feedI work with insurance carriers and help make sure their files to the state get successfully loaded. It comes with all the problems of retail, and the air of emergency with every mundane issue like tech support. On this day, I get a call from a woman who is frantic about issues with a file […]
notalwaysright_feedRead Not Calling This Out Would Be Sleeping On The Job
Me: "Hey, [Student], I just want to ask what happened this morning. You're usually pretty quiet, but today you were buzzing like a power line."
notalwaysright_feedThis story: https://notalwaysright.com/trying-so-hard-to-be-good-that-it-backfires/319813/ reminded me of my own school’s trip to the house of mouse. One of the couples in our high school band was well known as A Couple; the quintessential high school romance, as it were. Everyone knew they were dating, including the teachers. While we were at our hotel, the teacher was […]
notalwaysright_feedThis is a small story from last summer. I was visiting a friend in Wales, and I often play with their now 10-year-old niece. Said niece was showing off her bike riding skills, as it’s become one of her favourite hobbies now that she’s learned to ride! One afternoon, I’m standing outside the apartment block, […]
notalwaysright_feedWARNING: this story involves a dead pet. Our cat Jet was almost 18 years old, and he had been visibly slowing down for some time. He passed away peacefully one night, and we found him in the basement the following morning. After grieving for a few minutes, I phoned our usual vet to make arrangements. […]
notalwaysright_feedMy grandfather was a dog person through and through. He generally disliked cats (in the sense that he preferred not to own one and liked to pretend the ones we had weren’t important–he played with our cats in ways that benefited the cat a heck of a lot more than him, and wouldn’t hesitate to […]
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Very faint planetary nebula Abell 7 is about 1,800 light-years distant.
notalwaysright_feedRead UK Is Not OK, Part 2
Caller: "You keep saying that. What's the United Kingdom?"
Me: "It's a country in Europe, ma'am."
Caller: "…"
Me: "Great Britain? The British? Uh… England?"
Read UK Is Not OK, Part 2
notalwaysright_feedRead The Mother Of All Deadlines
I pulled up to a regular pizza customer's house and knocked on the door. Rather than the usual Dad customer I share a little small talk with, it's the Mom who comes to the door. She reaches for the table to get the cash (where it usually is when this household orders), but it's gone.
Customer: "Just a sec!"
notalwaysright_feedRead Know Your Worth, And Worthless Managers
Manager: "[My Name], are you busy right now?"
Me: "You assigned me two large pieces of work this morning on top of my regular monthly report, so what do you think?"
Manager: "No need to be so sassy."
notalwaysright_feedRead Oh Boy, Not Again…
Me: "Is this for a gender reveal cake?"
Woman: "Yup!"
Guy: "Hoping for a boy this time!"
Me: "Is it all girls so far?"
Guy: *Pained look.* "…yeah."
Read Oh Boy, Not Again…
notalwaysright_feedRead This Just Isn’t Coworking Out, Part 2
And then in the middle of a particularly nasty day, at the end of ringing a customer up and reaching down for a bag to put his stuff in, [Coworker] decides to hip-check me out of the way. Literally.
Now this woman was easily twice my size, and I almost fell on my face when she moved into my space behind the register I was using.
