ELVEN FAIR or Do not run with Scissors

Chapters 1 - 8 + Epilogue

(link goes to AO3)

M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir, Thranduil, Mauburz the Straggler, OMC, OFC

Delegations of Dwarves from the Eastern mountains and Thranduil in Imladris, the sons of Erestor and Glorfindel unsupervised in a barbershop. What could possibly go wrong? Erestor and Elrond will find out.

"It is the duty of Elven parents to stay with their children until all eternity and annoy them with invaluable, unasked-for advice."

Notes:

For somebody who does not like beards, I have learned a lot about their proper care. I could open a barber shop myself.

"Sia": the birth parent. Concept of the Mordorian Plains Elves by The Magic Rat, used with permission.

Current Mood: geeky

ELVEN FAIR or Do not run with Scissors

Chapter 5/? - "Hair-trigger"

(link goes to AO3)

Delegations of Dwarves from the Eastern mountains and Thranduil in Imladris, the sons of Erestor and Glorfindel unsupervised in a barbershop. What could possibly go wrong? Erestor and Elrond will find out.

"It is the duty of Elven parents to stay with their children until all eternity and annoy them with invaluable, unasked-for advice."

Notes:

For somebody who does not like beards, I have learned a lot about their proper care. I could open a barber shop myself.

"Sia": the birth parent. Concept of the Mordorian Plains Elves by The Magic Rat, used with permission.

Current Mood: busy

The Tolkien Estate frowns on fanfiction. Because: reasons, mostly integrity of Tolkien's work.

Integrity is, by definition, "the practice of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values" (thank you, wikipedia).

I don't know whose moral and ethical principles and values were consistently and uncompromisingly adhered to when Amazon Prime got the rights to produce this series. Tolkien's? Jeff Bezos'? Rumpelstilzkin's?

( Wee spoilers below... )

But it has Harfoots. That doesn't help.

The production looks great, I'll give them that. The Orcs are fantastic and the scenes with Disa and Durin jr. were amusing. But that's not enough to keep me hooked and paying. So I'll pass on this, thank you. My life will be much happier without Julius Gil-galad and Finrod the Hallmark Elf. I will not take any risks. They might cast Nathan Fillion as Glorfindel.

Current Mood: cranky

Elven Fair or Do not run with Scissors 3/?

(link goes to AO3)

Delegations of Dwarves from the Eastern mountains and Thranduil in Imladris, the sons of Erestor and Glorfindel unsupervised in a barbershop. What could possibly go wrong? Erestor and Elrond will find out.

Lindir took his duties very seriously, and when Lord Elrond tried to excuse himself to his chambers to get changed for the meeting, Lindir followed him with the doe-eyed admiration of a fawn and the determination of a Mordorian bloodhound.

"My lord, your hair," he insisted, softly but firmly, producing a hairbrush seemingly out of nowhere.

Notes: I needed a cheer-up. Here it is. It is all about hair. Long hair. Long, perfect Elven hair. Elven-fair Elven hair. I have mentioned long, have I?

"Sia": the birth parent. Concept of the Mordorian Plains Elves by The Magic Rat, used with permission.

Current Mood: tired

There is a real risk the plug will be pulled on LJ soon. It will be a funeral of a long-deceased loved one; the illness started when Brad sold his baby to Six Apart and it became terminal when they hawked it off to Russian company SUP. I don't even know who owns it now.

I found my fandom home on LJ after Diary-X went the way of the dodo. (Does anybody still rememberf Diary-X? Yes? Well, welcome, fellow dinosaur!) I still mourn my loss of Elrond's Diary...

What you can see above is, in a nutshell, my fandom life from 2003 to - well, about five or six years ago. Before I got really sick and couldn't do anything that went beyond "staying functional". And you know, looking at these statistics now, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Laugh, because I met so many wonderful people through LJ and fandom. Some of them are still around. Some of them have passed on. Some - for good.

Laugh, because I learned so much. Because I was encouraged to walk down roads I'd never considered otherwise. Because my life became better, richer and brighter for it. LJ, and fandom, have been a joy and inspiration and saviour of sanity for so many years.

And cry - because of what we will lose and what we have already lost. The people, the stories, the small daily interactions. These things don't happen anymore, not in that way. I miss it, I really do! I do not miss the drama - still getting a headache thinking of the infamous "House of Fëanor" wank or the "brocade wars", good grief - but you never get anything that's 100% perfect.

Perfection is boring. It's the friction that causes the spark.

So, maybe it's better if LJ just goes boom, rather than lingering for all eternity like a rotten apple, with its purged or abandoned accounts and deleted conversations, a fandom graveyard rather than a playground.

Important is that we keep on playing - there will always be a sandbox.

Current Mood: thoughtful

Cat and Canary

M, complete, 15715 words (link goes to AO3)

Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond, Lindir, OMC

SA 1699: Imladris is under siege, and just now, Lord Elrond decides that the captain of his guards should take Glorfindel under his wings. Erestor is not amused; he doubts Glorfindel's claim that he is the re-embodied Balrog-slayer. Likewise, Glorfindel has no time for the lout from Eregion. But when they set out on a mission, truth will out.
"If he were to lift a sword, he would probably topple over! Glorfindel of Gondolin, if I remember correctly, was tall, straight and had hair of shining gold. He was fair and full of joy. That one? Valar, he weighs half of me, and that only if he is dripping wet! And full of joy? I met lemons with more zest!"

Notes: Someone, somewhere asked for reversed Erestor/Glorfindel dynamics. For the life of me I cannot remember who it was, for I have the memory of a goldfish, but my gratitude to this person for releasing this plot bunny. In the unlikely event that you should come across this tale, please yell.

Also, I have once again been tweaking the timeline. Glorfindel returned from the Halls of Mandos between SA 1200 and SA 1600, depending on who you argue with. I have always conveniently ignored this bit of canon.

Current Mood: busy

Worrisome Waxworks

M, complete, 14994 words (link goes to AO3)

Erestor/Glorfindel, Thranduil, young Legolas, Elrond, Lindir

The Hallowe'en tale 2021!

"Of him the harpers sadly sing, he sculpted not one decent thing."
Abandon all hope, ye who enter Erestor's lab'ratory - or Elrond's little waxwork museum. If only somebody had bothered to tell Thranduil…

Current Mood: busy

Elven Fair or Do not run with Scissors! 1/? (link goes to AO3)

Elven Fair or Do not run with Scissors 2/? (link goes to AO3)

M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir, Thranduil, Mauburz the Straggler, OMC, OFC

Delegations of Dwarves from the Eastern mountains and Thranduil in Imladris, the sons of Erestor and Glorfindel unsupervised in a barbershop. What could possibly go wrong? Erestor and Elrond will find out.

"At least hair is one problem we do not have to occupy ourselves with," Glorfindel said, watching the furious Orc heading towards the market square of Imladris. Then he smoothed back his perfect golden locks, arranged in intricate braids, and returned his attention to the group of six hapless new recruits to teach them the wonders of Gondolinian swordsmanship. But while Glorfindel was as old as the trees and incredibly wise, he was completely wrong this time.

Notes: I needed a cheer-up. Here it is. It is all about hair. Long hair. Long, perfect Elven hair. Elven-fair Elven hair. I have mentioned long, have I?

"Sia": the birth parent. Concept of the Mordorian Plains Elves by The Magic Rat

rattie , used with permission.

Current Mood: busy

Chapter 11: The Restless Botanist
Chapter 12: The Frivolous Festival
Chapter 13: The Botanical Lunatic
Chapter 14: The Cursed Celandines
Epilogue
(links go to AO3)

"I did not flee the Balrog, I shall not flee the brambles," he snapped, hacking away at yet another thorny shoot that had attached itself to his thigh. "If a botanist managed to get up there, so will I!"

Who would be better suited to deal with a restless spirit than one who has already experienced the afterlife? Alas, Glorfindel finds that obstinate Elves do not become more docile in death. And if he wants Lindir to return order to the Last Homely House and love to the life of Lord Elrond, Glorfindel has to grasp the nettle – among other plants.

Notes:

So here we are, this is the end of the story! This was such a fun story to write, and I hope you had fun reading it. Thanks a lot for all the lovely comments, and the kudos - much appreciated!

Chapter 13: enter Arwen stage right.

Chapter 14: M rated botanistical smutism

Epilogue: Thorin Oakenshild does not appreciate the botanical profession

Chapter 10: The Surprising Steward

(links go to AO3)

"Never in the history of Arda have so many Elves been so wrong, maybe with exception of the smiths in Eregion!"

Current Mood: tired

Chapter 8: The Painful Truth

Chapter 9: The Nightly Ruckus

(links go to AO3)

"Elrond! Once you die, you will go to the Halls of Waiting, maybe with exception of Fëanor, who is rumoured to have ended up as filling of an hourglass on Námo's desk. I should know, for I have died and went through the process."

Notes:

My apologies for the change in chapter numbers - the original splitting made no sense. It is the same text, though.

Chapter 7: The Crucial Question (link goes to AO3)

Glorfindel looked at the books and scrolls scattered across the floor, then he made a discovery which sent his blood pressure soaring. He gestured at a small book which lay on the récamier.

Current Mood: hot

Chapter 5: The Infamous Notebook (links go to AO3)

Elrond wishes this house to be one for peace and learning. Excellent idea, but these are times of war, and so we have nothing but warriors here. Even the librarian carries bow and arrows. I am as useful as a barber in Moria.

Chapter 6: The Insignificant Difference (links go to AO3)

Had Lindir even as much as touched him with one finger, the Lord of Imladris would have either spontaneously combusted or melted into a puddle.

Notes:

When I began writing fanfic - it was a long time ago, dinosaurs were still roaming the streets - well, about twenty years ago it was, when I began writing "Erestor's Diary: The Most Boring Life of Master Erestor of Rivendell", which turned out to be the first part of ACOTER: THE ANNUAL CONFERENCE OF THE ELVEN REALMS. That was when Erestor got his crows and, eventually, Glorfindel (and Thranduil was Hobbit-Thranduil before the Hobbit, heh!)It was posted on a long defunct platform called Diary-X. I also had a diary for Elrond. Unfortunately, that content got lost... anyway, with this chapter I returned to the very beginning: Master Erestor's diary. It was like having tea with an old friend. A rather snarky one! So this chapter is dedicated to all the lovely people I have met back then, the regulars of "Elf on a Shelf"... the inimitable Magic Rat, Miss Zimraphel (the best Lindir ever), Sildil, the twins... they all put the "fun" in fandom. :)

Chapter 4: The Frightened Librarian

(link goes to AO3)

"I do not understand why you are upset. It is only a study, and Lindir needs the place!"

"Well, he will have to find another one then, for that one is taken," Gildor snapped. And with that cryptic comment, he just left Glorfindel standing there and hurried out of the library.

Current Mood: busy

Chapter 3: The Lengthy Pistils (link goes to AO3)

"I forgot to close the door; maybe there was a draught," Lindir suggested.

"A draught?" Glorfindel arched his eyebrows, then looked at the book in his hands.

"You might find this a most fascinating and educational read."

He held the book out to Lindir, who took it and studied the title.

"Herbal Aphrodisiacs and Stimulants..."

Chapter 2: The Hidden Notebook (link goes to AO3)

"What was this study used for, Elrond?" he asked. "Was it part of the library?"

Elrond looked uncomfortable, which did not escape Glorfindel.

"Of sorts," Elrond slowly replied. "It dates back to the time when this place was founded, and – but really, must we dwell here?"

Notes:

This is the tale of obscure information. Beside reflecting on obsolete spring festivals, I ran with "Erestor, Elrond's kinsman" (see The Return of the Shadow) and the notion that he was Half-elven. Oh, the possibilities...

Current Mood: tired

Chapter 1: The Efficient Minstrel (link goes to AO3)

Notes:

This tale was originally scheduled for Hallowe'en 2020, so I'm a little late. But goosebumps work well at 30°.

This is a ghost story, and ghosts are, by their very nature, individuals who are not dwelling among the living anymore. I still don't think this needs a "major character death" warning, though.

Demasted in a hurricane after a battle with pirates, HMS Dauntless has entered unchartered waters in the west. The crew is dying, and all hope seems lost when an unknown ship approaches the Dauntless – unknown to all but Lt. Gillette, James Norrington's redheaded first lieutenant.

AMBARUSSA Chapters 3 - 11/11 (complete)

(Link goes to AO3)

Warnings for angst, hurt/comfort and life aboard a 18th century ship not being particularly fluffy, especially in battle.

When I started writing this tale back in 2013, it was supposed to be my farewell-gift to my two fandoms, LOTR and RNOTC (an offspring of POTC). Specifically a small "thank you" to those who had always begged me to write at least once "sons of Fëanor who are not crows". But then "Ambarussa" was lost along with parts of my website. I have now managed to restore the first five chapters and rewrote the last two, so here it is. It was great fun stretching my sea legs once more.

A word of caution for my LOTR readers: while it says Erestor/Glorfindel in the tags, this is not the Erestor you are used to from my other tales.

Short explanation for non-LOTR readers regarding the who is who (LOTR experts, you really do want to skip this!) can be found in the notes at the end of the first chapter.

Beta: First five chapters by the wonderful Eveiya

Current Mood: busy

Fic: Ambarussa (SIL/LOTR/POTC crossover), M, Erestor / Glorfindel, Gillette (of sorts) / Norrington

AMBARUSSA Chapters 1 + 2/11

(Link goes to AO3)

Warnings for angst, hurt/comfort and life aboard a 18th century ship not being particularly fluffy, especially in battle.

A word of caution for my LOTR readers: while it says Erestor/Glorfindel in the tags, this is not the Erestor you are used to from my other tales.

Short explanation for non-LOTR readers regarding the who is who (LOTR experts, you really do want to skip this!) can be found in the notes at the end of the first chapter.

Beta: First five chapters by the wonderful Eveiya

Current Mood: calm

THE BURNING WOODS, CHAPTER 9: "TRUE NATURES"

Author: Erestor
Fandom: LOTR/The Hobbit/hints of Silmarillion
Categories: Action/adventure, drama, humor, romance, h/c
Series: Third part of “The Burning Woods” series
Rating: M
Pairings: Erestor/Glorfindel, Tauriel/Kíli, Tauriel/Lórindol, Legolas/Estorel, Elrohir/Námo, Thranduil/Nonfindel and more (see AO3 for full list)
Characters: Erestor, Glorfindel, Legolas, Estorel, Lórindol, Tauriel, Thranduil, Elrohir, Námo, Dís, Dûlla, Kíli, Fíli and more (see AO3 for full list)
Warnings: no archive warnings apply
Beta: Not yet, will follow (an unplanned move in May which materialised recently means that I will very likely not find the time to write for a couple of months after that. But I don't want to leave anybody hanging, so chapters will be posted first without the beta-magic of the wonderful Eveiya. I promised to finish this tale, and I will finish it. I will update and correct as soon as possible, but as things are now, please forgive spelling and grammar oddities, all my fault, I am ESL and have the attention span of a gnat.)

Notes: “Sia”: Language of the Plains Elves, meaning “parent”. Rabbit and the concept of the Plains Elves are creations by the ever lovely Magic Rat (delaese on LJ) and used with permission.

Erestor, convinced that his services are not longer required in Imladris, wants to sail west with Glorfindel. But then their youngest son Lórindol, believing Mirkwood to be threatened by a hidden evil in the north, goes on a quest with two female Dwarves which not only endangers the lives of everybody in the Woodland Realm, but also causes heartache and uncomfortable revelations for Tauriel, Legolas and his own family.
While Thranduil faces the threat of a civil war, Námo has to learn that even a Vala is not immune to filial rebellion. The future looks bleak for Mirkwood, but luckily, not all those who wander are lost, no matter how reckless their actions.

CHAPTER 9/12

Link goes to AO3.

Current Mood: busy

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Page Summary

Fic: Elven Fair or Do not run with Scissors! Complete! , M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: Elven Fair or Do not run with Scissors! Ch. 5/ ?, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
The Rings of Power. Meh. *spoilers*
Fic: Elven Fair or Do not run with Scissors! Ch. 3/ ?, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
"Well, here at last, dear friends..."
Fic: Cat and Canary, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond, Lindir
Fic: Worrisome Waxworks, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Thranduil, young Legolas, Elrond, Lindir
Fic: Elven Fair or Do not run with Scissors! Ch. 1 + 2/ ?, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: The Restless Botanist, 11 - 14/14 + Epilogue, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: The Restless Botanist, 10/13, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: The Restless Botanist, 8 + 9/13, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: The Restless Botanist, 7/13, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: The Restless Botanist, 5 + 6/13, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: The Restless Botanist, 4/13, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: The Restless Botanist, 3/13, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: The Restless Botanist, 2/13, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: The Restless Botanist, 1/13, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Elrond/Lindir
Fic: Ambarussa (SIL/LOTR/POTC crossover), M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Gillette (of sorts)/Norrington
Fic: Ambarussa (SIL/LOTR/POTC crossover), M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Gillette (of sorts)/Norrington
Fic: The Burning Woods, 9/12, M, Erestor/Glorfindel, Tauriel/Lórindol, Thranduil/Nonfindel a.o.

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Chapter 7: The Crucial Question (link goes to AO3)

Chapter 5: The Infamous Notebook (links go to AO3)

Chapter 6: The Insignificant Difference (links go to AO3)

(link goes to AO3)

Chapter 3: The Lengthy Pistils (link goes to AO3)

Chapter 2: The Hidden Notebook (link goes to AO3)

Chapter 1: The Efficient Minstrel (link goes to AO3)

Fic: Ambarussa (SIL/LOTR/POTC crossover), M, Erestor / Glorfindel, Gillette (of sorts) / Norrington

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