trille

Here is a vid. That I vidded. ~~Send help~~. Don't worry about me. Everything is fine.

"Dear Future Husband (Sid and Geno)" (Watch on YouTube)

"Sid is the best husband (after me)." Geno Malkin-Crosby, September 2015, training camp, Pittsburgh.

Wherein this vidder explores the foreverlove romance of Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin after their engagement photoshoot in Whirl Magazine.

Thanks to Meghan Trainor for writing/singing a song that is hilarious on so many levels,

buddleia for her enthusiasm and to

ciderpress, for doing the most outlandish fannish thing we've ever done (and hopefully will do) together with me. And my most heartfelt thanks to Sid and Geno for being the best future husbands.

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/356512.html

Hey, remember how I am hugely emotionally invested in a hockey team? Well. I am.

"Home (Pittsburgh Penguins)" (Watch on YouTube)

Allow me to share my feelings. Through the art of vidding.

This video is for the incomparable paleblur. Who gave me the note of "NEEDS MOAR HUGS".

{{{{{{{{{{{pens}}}}}}}}}}}}}

eta: btw this won't play in Germany due to copyright restrictions on the song. I feel bad about this. It seems so personal to only not let it stream in one country. Especially since the team is primarily made up of Germans at this point. (Well, and Canadians obviously.) I only realised last night and I'm not sure what the work around on my end should be since Vimeo also won't play it in Germany. I just assume that people don't want to download vids in 2014 but I could upload to a file sharing site? I guess?

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/355365.html

Guys. OMG, guys. Sidney Crosby is Frenchy.

"Sidney Crosby is a beauty school dropout (the NHL is his safety school)." (Watch on YouTube)

With my love and affection to craft services.

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/355257.html

I made a vid.

It's dedicated to Sidney Crosby's butt.

We are all Tina Belcher.

(Especially

ciderpress, who went above and beyond and found me all the best clips of the crosbutt found within.)

"Heavy in the back end" (Watch on YouTube)

Many, many thanks to the life changing product that is Apple TV.

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/355045.html

My hair is too long.

My day is too long.

My anecdotes are too long.

My computer has been beachballing for too long.

My lunch break is too short.

I call this poem: MONDAY.

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/352759.html

1. I am looking at my banana, and considering buying a bacon sandwich.

2. I am at work.

3. I am wearing a cardigan with little birds on it.

4. I think you are very nice. And your hair looks good today.

5. Maru has a kitten friend now. Upon reflection, I imagine that pleases me.

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/349202.html

I love how much this dude enjoys singing some Biebs. Countertenor, natch. Something about seeing someone so tickled by his own performance makes me smile and smile and smile.

And while I'm at it. Have some violinists killing some Taylor Swift. I love this. This is getting played on repeat for a while.

OK. FINE. Here are some more pop songs covers. You've twisted my arm.

( Read more... )

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/343331.html

I've entered one of those loops where I only ever shower at the gym. This is pretty terrible because I'm only going to the gym every second day.

There's this weird thing that happens with time. Where I think "oh, I just showered last night, I won't shower this morning" and then I also think "oh, I won't shower now. I'm about to go swimming". And it seems entirely reasonable and as if I am showering an appropriate amount and yet somehow I look back and realise that it was only 3 times a week. Maybe this is what always happens but by only showering at the gym, I am able to notice it. Gosh, I hope not.

STANDARDS. I miss them.

(In Australia I would often shower twice a day in summer. I was a little sweating ball of overheated trille. I can't remember what I did during summer in the UK. It is such a fleeting season and was so, so long ago...)

(Update: since writing the above, I have showered twice at home. I'm not going to pretend it wasn't because writing the above shamed me a little bit. What will dreamwidth think?, I say to myself as I'm deciding whether to shower or not. And then I shower.)

A few weeks ago there was this amazingly temperate weekend where everyone suddenly saw blue skies again and we all emerged from our winter layers, blinking in the sunlight like the mole people we had become. It was fantastic but it never really felt like the end of winter. It just felt like a random weekend of good weather. This week though, it feels like springtime. The wind is blowing, but is doesn't have that arctic bite to it. Flowers are blooming. People are picnicking. I don't know what is happening on farms, but I expect it is springlike. I'm not sure what is going to happen now (maybe it will snow some more! that would be exciting!) but there is a spring (so to speak) in my step and I keep almost breaking into a Disney-esque dance routine.

I have marked the occasion by listening to my ipod with songs sorted alphabetically by title starting with "Summertime". Is this an overreaction? Probably. Am I bothered? Nope.

Speaking of nice things: I am so incredibly pleased that Thatcher's (technically wasn't a state-) funeral didn't result in any violence or property destruction or arrests. Thanks, everyone! I was bracing myself for having to feel sad. Hey, humanity. Sometimes I expect the worst, and then you go and make me look like the terrible one by not remotely lowering yourself to my expectations.

Full disclosure time: I have fallen headfirst in watching Person of Interest. It's very moreish. I hate (love) you all for telling me to watch it. Although I will say I am relieved to be watching a show with vigilantes breaking and entering and using illegal surveillance and torturing people and just generally working outside of the law. I get sad in my heart-space when it is government agencies doing that. I mean, I still watch and enjoy the show (HELLO NCIS) but I am concerned about what that says about me when I do so. (Sometimes I think I deserve the most eye rolls of anyone who has ever lived.)

I look like a cutie pie tonight. I regret that I don't work with any of you. If I did I would burst into your office and do a twirl.

Twirling, twirling, twirling towards dinner time.

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/343136.html

Would you like me to blow your mind? Read these lists of (mostly) delicious foods that can be found under the heading of "most hated". How can so many people hate so many delicious things? WTF, people. Double-ewe. Tee. Eff.

America's 25 Most Hated Foods (according to a random local tv station)

25. Mayonnaise
24. Eggplant
23. Avocado
22. Tofu
21. Anchovies
20. Spinach
19. Turnips
18. Black licorice
17. Tuna fish
16. Onions
15. Buttermilk
14. Raisins
13. Oysters
12. Green peas
11. Sour cream
10. Cottage cheese
9. Broccoli
8. Spam
7. Brussel sprouts
6. Beets
5. Okra
4. Eggs
3. Mushrooms
2. Lima beans
1. Liver

Er, what? I am finding this list very surprising. I know that people's likes and dislikes are personal, but I flat out love most of this list and I would never have guessed that so many things on it were so controversial. I mean, I have accepted that lots of people dislike broccoli. I don't understand it, but I have accepted it. But most of those things? I had NO IDEA.

Britain's 10 Most Hated Foods (according to the Daily Mail)

10. Black pudding
9. Olives
8. Kidneys
7. Cockles
6. Liver
5. Anchovies
4. Squid
3. Oysters
2. Tripe
1. Snails¹

Ok, I admit I am feeling a lot more affinity for the British list. My dislikes are far more in tune with this one. Although, I would still argue that half of the things are delicious.

Tripe I do properly dislike though. Because, ugh.

I tried to find an Australian list. My google didn't come up with anything nearly so helpful. And then I got distracted and read about a series of studies (starting in 1989 and going for 10 years) comparing the Japanese palate to the Australian. See, some Australian food exporters were keen not to miss out on a potential market and wanted to have the best shot at getting consumers.

Results? You know you want to hear the results.

The Australian exporters were apparently concerned that the "finely tuned" "tasting machinery" of the Japanese might mean they were picking up on differences in the strength/weakness of tastes that went unnoticed in the Australian market.

So they tested the ability to detect different intensities of tastes. Guess what? Australian and Japanese people had the same results.

So. That ruled out one factor. But the Japanese were still "more discerning" than Australian exporters would like. The next study tested the differences in likes and dislikes of the basic tastes. They tested sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and umami taste. For umami they broke it down further and separately tested MSG, IMP, and GMP.

Australian and Japanese had the same response to sweet, salty, bitter, and IMP. There was a marked difference in sour and MSG or GMP however. The Australians disliked these tastes more than the Japanese did.

Yay, science. However, this still did not fully explain the consumer practices in Japan. So there was another study.

This time, instead of giving people model taste solutions to try, they gave people food. They tested a variety of samples, some that were common in one or both cultures and some that were uncommon. And voila! This context made a huge difference. While the intensity sensitivity for the individual taste components within the food samples supported the earlier studies, the like/dislike of actual food had significant differences. The study found that our response to "complex food" is informed by more than just the individual taste components. In particular it suggested that the cultural context for the food should not be ignored.

So there you are. I hope you got something out of that.

(This is probably why people who ate school dinners don't like rice pudding. Rice pudding is creamy goodness. Mmmmm. Rice pudding.)

HuffPo compiled a list too. They said they were unscientific and just trawled the internet to find what foods had the most people vocal about disliking. Their list started with Brie. And then I thought "fuck your unscientific list. Brie is FREAKING DELICIOUS. Those other lists were bad enough but I am NOT going to take this bullshit from something that doesn't even pretend to be anything more than anecdotal".

And then I accidentally ate quorn for lunch. So what do I know?

¹ Someone tried to pick me up in a bar once with snails. Or maybe he wasn't trying to pick me up? Maybe he was just totally into snails and wanted to spread the word of their deliciousness? It could have gone either way. I was hung up on another guy at the time (who was with the group I was at the bar with), so I failed to allow myself to be seduced by snails. I have since tried snail, and the dude was right. Sorry, bar dude. I should have married you. We could have eaten delicious food together every night.

(Yes, sometimes I do go to bars that are so posh that the "pub snacks" include snail. I would link you to a menu, but it changes daily. A cursory google tells me that this pub has "dominated Waterloo's gastronomic scene for over a decade, and is still among its highlights." So there you go.)

(Is snail posh? It feels posh. Maybe it's just French.)

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/341854.html

Do we fight for the right:

a) to party?
b) to a night at the opera now?
c) all of the above? Yes, I'm talking about a party-night at the opera now. Crazy? Or crazy genius!?

I have had three cups of coffee.

In conclusion, the end.

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/339811.html

There was a point recently when I was watching a Parks & Recreation episode and I started laughing. And laughing and laughing. Deep, hearty, unstoppable lols. I could have happily watched that scene continue for an entire episode.

( Quick spoiler for the latest episode of Parks & Rec )

This show gives me SUCH AMAZING JOY. I had to type that in allcaps, because the level of joy it gives me is CAPITAL LEVEL joy. And it warms my cold, cold heart that the people behind the show seem to all get on so well. They put their joy in, and somehow I can take my joy out. I don't exactly know how that works, but I do know I would read the crap out of a mystical realism scenario that explains it to me. For instance, maybe Amy Poehler might be a magical mechanic who makes a joy machine. I don't know.

Greg Daniels - Co-creator of "Parks and Recreation"

I first met Amy probably in the late 1990s. I was put in touch with her because she helped create the Upright Citizens Brigade. She was very quick-witted. And someone that you wanted to work with. But you also sensed that she has a value system.

I directed the pilot of "Parks and Recreation." There were so many good options on her takes that we jump-cut them together. She was doing 15 different improvs to get in Ron Swanson’s face to get him to do something for her.

She's very knowing and she’s very kind. If there's any bullshit she’ll tease people. We had originally written her character as kind of deluded, but she’s very aware, very hip. By Season 2, the character had a lot more of her personality in it. I think about the episode where she was trying to get publicity for the zoo with a penguin wedding, but then the penguins were both gay, and she got into trouble with the community and she went to the clubs to get the support of the gay community. And you saw that this isn’t Amy doing Hillary Clinton. It's what Amy Poehler would be like in small-town government.

Right in the feels.

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/339103.html

Start with Jimmy Fallen and Justin Timberlake's History of Rap. Take a side road down Bust a Move. Then get back on track with Evolution of Dance. This will lead you nicely into Axis of Awesome's Four Chord Song (the live version from the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, not the "official" version. The live one is so much better, imo).

And this is my suggested youtube path for you today.

After I finished watching Evolution of Dance ("watching" is too passive a verb for how that actually went down. Sidebar: if one were to chair-dance along while in a swivel chair, one gets one hell of an advantage for the twist part), I exclaimed "UGH, that was SO GOOD". In a guttural, diaphragm-expelling air sort of way. It sounded dodgy.

No regrets, dudes. None.

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/337515.html

One for the money.
Two for the show.
Three to get ready.
Now go, cat, go.

CONTROVERSIAL OPINIONS ARE COMING AT YOU SO YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

I have zero problems with pineapple on pizza. In fact, I have zero problems with pineapple being added to any meal. Pineapple is delicious.

If you can tell someone is upset despite their attempts to keep it together, I think it is polite to pretend you can't tell. I don't think it's helpful or kind to ask in concerned way what the matter is.

Patterns can and do go with other patterns.

Allcaps are an exciting and valuable typing choice.

BAM. There. How do you like those?

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/337282.html

Apparently the trick to going out the night before a 6am shift, is to pre-order your taxi. Apparently at 11pm I will be on my second wind and will be very keen to keep going, so the me at 11pm should not be the one making the decision about whether I should be heading home. The me at 10pm? That me knows what's up. That me is wise.

Although a strong argument can be made for not going out at all before a 6am shift. So wise me is probably still somewhat moronic. But at least I am a moron who was in bed by 11:30. SO THAT'S SOMETHING. AMIRITE?

Now. Guy. Guys. Oh my god, GUYS. It's coming into the festive season. And this is very exciting for me because this means it is also coming into perfume ad seasons. Why am I excited? It's because perfume ads. Are. Batshit.

And you know what? Once you accept that, life gets a lot sweeter. I went from borderline hatred of perfume ads, to great appreciation. I adore watching them. Yes, please try to sell me the "idea" of a "scent" using 30 seconds of an audio visual medium. Ha, who am I kidding? They are always far longer than a mere 30 seconds to start with. (Once they are burned into our brains, then and only then will we start seeing the cutdown versions.)

But seriously. Watching perfume ads for me is like engaging with modern art. I am fairly certain that it is impossible to parody a perfume ad. There are no parodies. The sillier you go, the deeper you get into the real essence of perfume advertising.

Also, Brad Pitt.

A Christian posted on his (non-public!) facebook saying that gay marriage was an "equality too far" and why would gay people want to get "hitched in church" anyhow, since they are not people of "faith or conscience". So, obviously he is a twit. That's fine. But he was working in a managerial position at a housing trust and had about 40 people from work friended on facebook. He was reprimanded for posting something political/religious and demoted at a significant pay cut.

I am the first to roll my eyes at a conservative Christian claiming that they are being persecuted, but - and I wanted to exclaim here, but apparently all my interjections of exasperation reference religion: JESUS. HOLY CRAP. OH MY GOD. FUCKING HELL. And they all seem a little too topical right now. Oh well. We will do without. - this REALLY happened. Of course, I am aware of the argument that since he took his case to court and they ruled in his favour that this shows how he is not being persecuted by society, and that society is explicitly protecting his rights. However, I would also like to say "fuck that!". You shouldn't need to take your employer to court in the first place.

[redacted talk about Facebook and social media and employment and visibility online]

[but I will leave a link to this article which is tangentially related, because I thought it was an excellent piece]

Anyway. That's not what I wanted to talk about. I am still on the advertising topic. No, really. That was some context to the fact that Gay v Christian was apparently a thing that was happening yesterday.

A bus driver decided he would take a stand. A randomly anti-gay stand. Not anti-gay marriage stand, just anti-gay. And the stand he would take be taking is he would refuse to drive the bus with the Stonewall ad on it. You know? The "SOME PEOPLE ARE GAY. GET OVER IT." ad. Unfortunately, he didn't refuse to drive it at a depot with many other bus options. He was supposed to take over from another driver midway through a route. So it was a very public, somewhat disruptive little protest of one.

Stonewall must be surprised and incredibly pleased at this. You know what is fantastic for your anti-homophobic advertising campaign? Front page news of homophobes flipping out about a poster. 1. Hey, everyone! Let's be MORE aware of this campaign! 2. Hey, everyone. Remember when you rolled your eyes and said that this campaign wasn't even necessary because everyone is cool with gays now? Hahaha. Ha.

Brad Pitt should look deep into my eyes and tell me to get over it.

Speaking of Hollywood leading men wanting people to get over it, Robert Pattinson hates his life.

(Yes, I read through that entire tumblr. Yes, it took some time. No, I do not regret my life choices.)

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/334887.html

This is dedicated to

monanotlisa's outrage - OUTRAGE! - at a certain scene in Thor. And also to Darcy's face. Her wonderful, wonderful face.

Title: Not My Name
Fandom: Thor. Wait, that's not right: THOR!
Music: That's Not My Name by The Ting Tings
Length: 1'43
Download: From Mediafire (720x304, 61MB, mp4)
Stream: On YouTube / On Vimeo

(Youtube link will not work in Germany, sorry! Also, youtube tells me that it won't work on mobile devices, but I just loaded it on my phone, so. *hands* I don't know what to tell you.)

Alternate titles to this little vid include: "The Ballad of Darcy Lewis" and "Say My Name, Bitch. SAY IT."

( lyrics under the cut )

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/329465.html

Sometimes I decide that I won't mention certain things that happen to me. Not to keep it secret, more as a favour to everyone else in the universe. No way, I think, nobody wants to hear about that. And then suddenly I'm in a good mood and having a happy conversation and out it plops.

(I say plops because I imagine it entering the conversation like the punctuation in that Red Dwarf scene where someone has written a warning in his own blood and intestines and someone says...you know what, I'm going to find the exact quote for you:

Rimmer: "The poor devil must have scrawled it in his death throes, using a combination of his own blood, and even his own intestines."
Cat: "Who would do that?"
Rimmer: "Someone who badly needed a pen."
Cat: "What I don't understand, is why he went to the trouble of using his Kidney as a full stop."
Rimmer: "I don't think he meant to do that, it probably just plopped out."

A lot of what I say is my kidney just plopping out. Very little is carefully arranged intestines.)

The most interesting thing about me today is how freaking adorable my dress/cardigan combination is. I would show you a picture, but. I'm too lazy. I mean, I'm on the work PC. Sharing pictures from my phone would be a bunch of trouble.

Speaking of clothes: I'm going to Royal Ascot next Saturday (by which I mean the 23rd). So given the current weather, I assume next Saturday will be...cold and wet? Is that right? That's crazy, so-called "Summer". What's up with you? Get it together. Anyway, regardless of weather (which will have an impact on my dress and shoe choice), I require a hat. I don't currently have a hat. So...that's going to be sorted out sometime between now and then. Meanwhile, I do not require any more cute dresses, but do need many more pairs of shoes. My shoes are all so sad and scuffed and old. I have had well dressed people compliment my outfit and then say "pity about the shoes". (Note: Sometimes I am the person who says that about my own outfit/shoes. But not on this occasion.)

You know how sometimes there are competing ships? NOT LIKE IN A BOAT RACE, I MEAN IN FANDOM. Geez.

Like, do I ship this Hard-Working Cop (HWC) with his Loyal and Beloved Partner (LBP)? Or do I ship HWC with his Snarky and Antagonistic Enemy (SAE) instead?

HWC/LBP = Happily ever after and romance and marriage and n'awww they are THE CUTEST together. And they have the best hanging out and being buddies chemistry. And they bicker like a married couple. HEARTS IN MY EYES. <3.<3
HWC/SAE = Holy crap, that chemistry. o.0 That is...something else. OK. I know they keep trying to kill each other but. Wow. That's hot. WOW.

(Are these feelings what happens when you read a lot of P&P style romance? Or do you read a lot of P&P style romance because of these feelings? Question for the ages.)

GUYS? GUYS, LISTEN. LISTEN, GUYS. GUYS? LISTEN...

Do I have information that is Relevant To Your Interests? Yes. Yes, I do fucking have motherfucking information that is motherfucking relevant to your interests. (Had to redact motherfucking from in front of interests because it was suddenly reading as alarmingly literal. Which is something I never, ever, ever will mean when I say motherfucking.)

INFORMATION FOR YOU. Coming right atcha.

Common Law. Snarky and Antagonistic and Loyal and Beloved Frenemy Partners? Who FIGHT CRIME?? Um. YES, PLEASE. Wait...and are in couples counselling? Shut the front door. Every episode is bookended with a group discussion of their relationship? UM. WHAT IS THIS HEAVEN AND HOW DID I GET HERE AND CAN I INVITE MY FRIENDS ALONG PLS?

If you can get through the first 10 minutes without falling completely in love with Wes and Travis you are a stronger person than I am. And look. I am not pimping this without an ulterior motive. I think all we need to do is get the fanbase to be >80% slashers and then, bam, season 3: this will be the show. You know what I mean, right? The show where the buddy cops actually get together.

(If I had a webcam ont his computer I would have recorded the fullbody flail attack I just had at the very thought.)

ETA: Here, google suggests you look at how people feel about it on tumblr.

(Also, do you know what put me off for a couple of weeks? You will laugh when I tell you the real reason. It has such a bad poster. It looks all washed out. THERE. Mock away. I judged it prematurely and I was the wrongest ever. Don't make my mistake, people.)

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/328815.html

Hey! I made a vid. Why? Because Bruce Banner is why.

Title: Find a Home
Fandom: The Avengers
Music: Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes
Length: 3'20
Download: From Mediafire (720x304, 112MB, avi)
Stream: On YouTube / On Vimeo

(note: the youtube link will not work on mobile devices or in the US, sorry guys!)

If it wasn't for

ciderpress, this vid would still be half completed on my laptop. Thank you for your cheerleading, handholding, and the way you threw me out last night and told me to go home and upload it.

This is my love song to Bruce Banner. Bruce, I love you. Take all my feelings.

( lyrics under the cut )

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/328601.html

Fuck.

Fuckity fucking fuck.

I think I left my USED TAMPON in the sink this morning. I want to die. To DIE.

Picture one of those cute videos of a cat covering its face with its paws. That's how I feel in my soul, right now. Except minus the cute. And 1,000 x the shame.

*headdesk*

*weeping*

I am THE WORST.

.

..

...

I thought if I wrote this out it would make me feel better. It has not.

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/326930.html

Listen. This is going to involve me telling you a little bit about my dream (see me ignore my own wisdom here, specifically number 2 on this list), but needs must. Or wait. Not needs. Wants. I want to. I really, really want to though, which is practically a need, right?

I had a dream that involved me carrying

ciderpress's cat around a whole lot because we needed to catch a plane (we = me and the cat), and it was very important. I was also carrying cupcakes in a box. And let me tell you, it is not the easiest thing to do to carry cupcakes and a cat around London in a dream.

That's great, you say, but why are you telling me this? Because sometimes it's not in a dream that people carry cats around in emergency situations. And sometimes people take pictures of people carrying cats around in said situations. And then I look at the pictures and my cold, icy heart melts like butter.

(Sidebar re butter: There is a butter shortage in Norway. Repeat: BUTTER SHORTAGE IN NORWAY. Christmas is coming. omfg. Emergency! The reason there is a butter shortage is that there is a particular diet craze sweeping the country where you have to eat lots of butter and bacon. Yes, I said "diet". Idk, you guys. This is probably why it keeps topping the quality of life lists.)

End sidebar and back to the cats.

( see inside for some visual representations of what kind of hero I was in the dream )

Crossposts: http://special-trille.livejournal.com/317585.html

Things That Give Me Great Joy (this week's edition)

1. Discovering that this is a movie coming out next year:

15 years after their traumatic gingerbread-house incident, siblings Hansel and Gretel have become a formidable team of bounty hunters who track and kill witches all over the world.

I AM NOT EVEN MAKING THAT UP. Go ahead and read that description again if you like. It remains just that awesome. Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner are indeed hotass, grown-up, (possibly steampunky?) Hansel and Gretel. The movie is called "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" but without the colon according to the studio who laugh in the face of grammar and (I haven't watched the movie yet but I'm willing to bet) also laugh in the face of coherent and logical plots.

2. Discussing Very Important issues surrounding #1. Such as: what if everyone was turned into cats? And given their history (breadcrumbs, gingerbread houses, being fattened up by a witch who intends to EAT them) how messed up would those kids' food issues be? All the way messed up, I say. Messed up up to eleven.

3. Visualising the AU from #2.

Brother and sister (they're very close)