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noa, she/her, '02

current mood: cheerful
current music: dear dream by nct dream

clearly a few months ago I was running on some kind of hope or I don't know delusion? that maybe I would be productive and get into routine really quickly or whatever but clearly.. that didn't happen... and instead I fell into deep depression and proceeded to bedrot for two or so months while I felt like my life was crumbling around me... alas...

( have a bunch of random thoughts instead )

current mood: indescribable
current music: jet pack blues by fall out boy

idk if I'll get to all of them, but these are some ideas that have been floating in my head about posts I'd like to write up soon:

☐ feminism, formula 1 and the illusion of female representation in f1 media (aka a brief journey through my thesis and a brief expansion upon it using the f1 movie as a case study)

☐ not-so-mid-year music recap and review

☐ a breakdown of my truly atrocious youtube consumption habits (aka a way of tracking/reminiscing what the fuck has been going on in my youtube account these past few years)

☐ thoughts on curating your own social media space and tolerance in the new social media era

☐ anime ship dissection (aka my excuse to talk about about bakudeku and todobakudeku

☐ self care routines and what that concept means in a third-world country

I also feel like I'm about to have my yearly crashout in which I want to change up the look of this blog but I only end up making minor changes that only I'll notice because I like to think I know how to work css but in reality it's handing my ass back to me so we'll see how all that goes lol

current mood: overwhelmed
current music: my blood by twenty one pilots

once again I find myself with a bunch of media round-ups I was either too lazy or too busy to post but I kinda want to find some routine and purpose to my postgrad life because getting up at 12pm and being on my phone all day kinda isn't really it rn... so here goes another attempt at being more consistent in posting because also, it makes me happy!!! I have a few post ideas so maybe I'll sort those out and post them as well

( first time in a week I've bothered to get my ass out of bed yo )

current mood: blah
current music: golden by huntr/x

(source)

( how can 28 days feel like 28 years? )

current mood: anxious
current music: butterfly by marina

clearly I have problems. one of them is I can’t stop yapping and another one is finding a trait of my personality or a specific interest and seriously projecting it so that it becomes the most recognizable part of my identity. I think that with age and maturity I've mostly let this modus operandi go and have much less tried to micromanage the way my friends perceive me and just managed to let it be (to even better results than I could’ve ever hoped! truly having good friends is a blessing), but once upon a time I was in middle school and I was a reader.

( 'new year, new me,' she says in february )

current mood: blah
current music: denial is a river by doechii

(source)

( back to trying to make this a monthly thing, baby )

current mood: optimistic
current music: the line by twenty one pilots

(source)

( pookiefying every emo boy with a backstory to piss off the bros <3 )

current mood: exanimate
current music: specialz by king gnu

I gave up a little bit last year because I fell into a very deep depression regarding certain personal things and the state of my country which really brought me down in a way I haven't been brought down in years. you can kinda see how much I gave up from july onwards just from how I stopped tracking and reviewing everything I watched (something that made me very happy before) T-T am I better now? honestly, I don't know! our political situation is awful and I feel like I have no future here, but I'm putting my best effort forward to keep going despite everything. and that includes tracking my media again! so lets get to it!

( 🎬📺📚 )

current mood: rushed
current music: out the door by got7

as a last ditch attempt at getting my life back together I'll try my best to catch up on all the media round-ups that I definitely still tracked but couldn't be bothered to post on here... I almost gave up because it's been a year and a fucking half but I want to start posting on here again so all for the sake of consistency right...

( better late than never, right? )

current mood: groggy
current music: doctor! doctor! by zb1

I can't believe that it's been 9 months since I last posted anything on here… and it's been probably the most life changing 9 months of my life, I don't even know where to start or how to begin processing everything that's happened in such a both short and long time

( we're so back, baby )

current mood: peaceful
current music: apple by charli xcx

like a year ago around this time I was so entirely convinced that nct would be my last kpop boygroup… if you'd told me that I would be liking like 5+ new groups now I would've passed out

( there's no bond stronger than that of a mentally ill girl and her kpop boys )

current mood: anxious
current music: no szns by jean dawson, sza

I haven’t written anything in around 1 year and 5 months…. it’s really been a mix of lack of time and (somewhat) lack of motivation. although last time I wrote fic I kept it all to myself and had tons of fun just doing whatever the fuck I wanted, somehow not even that was enough to compel me to keep the habit even when life got busy and writing was no longer something I could do for an hour or two every night and Still have time to wind down after

( (pats head) it’s kind of turbulent up here lol )

current mood: anxious
current music: memories by riize