anon sent 25.11.04

Ahh you’re talking about this really gorgeous gifset that I recently reblogged.

OK so I took screenshots of the gifs, and I have to say a couple things about gifsets as a whole first.

I only joined tumblr in August of 2020, because I was going stir crazy from … everything that was happening in the world at the time. And I was very into the early seasons of Outlander, and so I was excited to find gifsets. Except I quickly grew disenchanted with gifsets, because a lot of them are … not accurate. In my autistic, literal way I was like, THEY ARE LYING but having been through it a few times now in different fandoms (Riverdale, Ateez, Itzy etc) I have come to the conclusion that gifmaking is basically fanfiction / meta making with visuals. Moreover, by nature they’re perforce fiction because forcing a 2 second human interaction to cellular-level scrutiny is always going to be more fiction than fact.

Oh, and sometimes, gifsets actually are really lies and misinformation. I’ve been burned by that too.

But anyway, this is all to say, gifmakers may dislike the truth I’m laying out, but gifmaking is fiction-making, and then analysis of what can be seen in a gifset when I wasn’t there at the event and haven’t yet watched the actual footage the gif was made from in full context means everything I am saying is fiction made out of fiction made out footage of a real event. We’re very far removed from reality.

That said:

OMG THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS ASK BECAUSE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YUNHO LOOKS PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED.

First off, the absolute lack of enthusiasm. Perfunctory mouth open expression that he usually deploys for ending fairy, but the eyes are SO DEAD.

And now he’s just irritated. He can’t even pretend. Even though Yunho is an actor, in the real, deliver-lines sense, and even though Idols are all actors, in the reality TV sense, and even though the kind of song-and-dance-performance that Ateez do as very dramatic performers also require them to be convincing actors.

But why the attitude?? This whole bit was clearly planned. They both look at the camera at the same time. This was REHEARSED. Was the pissy-ness rehearsed too??

OMG San is so beautiful. His skin is otherworldly. Look at the glow on that cheek. Goddamn.

San has his Idol mask on. This is ending fairy performance face. Yunho doesn’t seem to have his Idol mask on, which breaks the mirage a lot. He looks like he’s suffering. He doesn’t want to do this, have San touch him, have his cheek be part of the heart, he hates it he hates it, he hates it. His eye are so dead.

Gosh Yunho is so pretty, oh my goshshhhhh so pretty.

Oh wait, I was talking about something. Right. Rightright.

Yunho, having made his point to the audience, is now looking away, enduring it, enduring the heart, enduring the very minute amount of touching San is doing. He wants this so to be over yesterday.

He’s so resigned to it. He’s giving San absolutely nothing. San is trying to get an interaction but Yunho is literally playing dead. On stage.

I wasn’t planning on watching this performance, which is probably the Asahi Dream Festival, but now I MUST.

Disclaimer again: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, SHIT POST, FOR FUNSIES. I haven’t watched the whole performance, and anon and I are doing an extreme analysis of a gifset that caught our attention first because it’s gorgeously made but also because it captures something unexpected that intrigued us. If you disagree, you are right in all things and you should block the force of evil that is Storkmuffin.

anon sent July 5, 2025

Dude, this was not a ramble. I’ve received multi-part anon submissions (deleted, but not bc they were a ramble). Second, we are not going to be hard on ourselves for such reasonable parasocial wonderings, such as thoughts about what will happen to our favorite kpop bandmembers once they aren’t Idols anymore, here on tumbler dot com slash storkmuffin.

I guess there is some good that comes out of sitting on an ask for weeks - you sent this question exactly 5 days before Ateez announced their 7 year extension contract with KQ. They’re locked in now for some time - I don’t actually know if the 7 years is inclusive of the 1.5 years+ that they will all have to be in military service but in any case, at least until the eldest two are 34.

What Idols mostly seem to do in Korea is work to death in their youth, and then purchase a really fancy building in Gangnam and become landlords, living off of a combination of accumulated wealth and real-estate income into middle age. Often, they marry a showbiz person - actress or model or similar - who helps them buy this building, and then they have children. (I’m thinking of Rain). I hope - and assume - that Ateez are making bank, and can do the same. So practically speaking, yeah, why are we worrying?!? LOL.

HOWEVER -

I understand your worry as being more about, you enjoy these people’s showmanship, and you want more of it. And in order to get that you need their careers to be sustained. I think that’s really kind, actually. True fan behavior. They’re not disposable to you.

Hongjoong, Mingi, Jongho

The three you aren’t worried about are two that are ‘authors’ (as in, songwriting producers) and not just interpretive performers, and one that is (I think fairly, actually) considered a generationally representative vocalist, who has never been or sounded boyish. Jongho has always had something middle aged about him, and though it may have cost him something in the youthful part of his career, he can be like Tony Bennett and just go on for fucking forever (this is my hope).

San

I’m surprised a San bias would be worried about San. There’s something wonderfully pure and earnest about San’s public persona. He has a distinctive, distinguishable voice as a singer, he is capable of belting, and more than anything else, he has Maximum Beauty. He stands a really good chance of being one of those Pillars of Masculine Beauty guys.

There’s something so well-suited about San to showbiz actually. He’s stubborn, disciplined, and calculating. These are all extremely good traits to have. He also has a very particular idea about who and how he wants to be as a public figure and insists on burnishing that persona at every opportunity. Yet in spite of all this self-control, he’s extremely expressive and unleashes a sexuality on stage that I think is fabulous. San manages to both be radically exposed and daring (he didn’t hide any part of his naive country boy origins or foibles), while at the same time shrouded and reserved. Plus he’s fucking hot in a way that men like as much as women. I don’t see any reason why San can’t have a huge solo career.

And though he came to dance late, San has big ambitions as a choreographer that I think will put him in good stead when he really retires from performing all out on stage. Idol careers are lasting longer and longer, was the consensus that I last read from books by industry insiders. And San really does have lovely singing skills that I think would easily transfer to other genres.

Wooyoung

I would say - do not to not write off Wooyoung’s musical career. His solo stage for this tour was fantastic, not just for how beautiful it was but for the showmanship it evinced. He knows how to maximize his considerable strengths as a star, and he is pragmatically capable of letting go of his vanity enough to make sure his weaknesses are blurred away. Wooyoung has massive, extensive starpower as a rockstar. Further, looking at Taemin of Shinee or what Jaejoong of TVXQ is doing gives two alternative paths that I think sometime like Wooyoung could easily follow. I think it takes a really tough person to withstand the travails of Kpop Idoldom into his thirties, but Daesung (who seems very Wooyoung coded to me) seems to be managing it in a way that doesn’t require the neurotic mystique around his teammate G-Dragon (sorry, this is very uninformed - I don’t listen to GDragon and have only seen him twitching, tic riddled, walking through airports while dressed like an eccentric grandma, in tabloid coverage). Jaejoong also runs his own Idol creation company, and I can see Wooyoung 'raising’ the next generation of popstars in a similar way once he feels like he needs to let it go. (If he ever does.)

Seonghwa

Seonghwa could be a major, huge musical star, I think. He’s the best stage actor among all of them, because he’s both openly sexual and sexy, yes, but also because he’s capable of completely giving himself over to his own imagination on stage. I would compete for tickets to see Seonghwa act in a musical, no cap. He’s also said that this is what he told his parents he wanted to do, when becoming an Idol seemed both too grandiose and glitzy. And Seonghwa, though I can’t really 'read’ him per se, is someone with a lot of ambition, force of will, and most importantly, IDEAS, so I think he could have a really long show biz career if he cared to do that. There’s a former solo singer Idol that a 40-something colleague of mine has loved forever, who went from singing pop ballads to starring mostly in musicals, and his devoted frans from his pop career basically fuel his musical career by selling out every performance every time. I know, I just do, that Seonghwa ults would do that for him with just as much aplomb. (They seem to make a point of making sure his merch sells out completely in Korea lol).

Yeosang

So, before the In Your Fantasy performances where Yeosang suddenly found his Doberman and we all agreed, I would’ve also been in the Whatever Will Yeosang Do With Himself camp. But that’s not me anymore.

I don’t know what Yeosang wants because he plays everything so close to the chest. Just because he hasn’t loudly said what he wanted though, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have things he wants.

Side bar to note: Along with Yunho, there’s a pesistent feeling I have that he is in the wrong group, and, unlike Wooyoung or Yunho, I also think that Yeosang he could’ve been in any other group that debuted that year and been just as successful. There’s something a bit limiting about having had to be the angelic, refined one among this group with no fewer than five rowdy demons.

But.

a) In 2025 he found his Doberman, and I’ve seen that he can go very effectively dark (shark eyed and scary) when he isn’t having to fight for space between Mingi and Wooyoung. He may not have the flashiest persona (those many “Yeosang fight back!” memes) but he doesn’t hold anything back on stage. He knows how to cater to the female gaze, as well.

b) Yeosang is very smart. I think he’s very smart about money. He’s very smart in how he manages his parasocial relationships with his fans. When he 'hooks’ a Yeodoongie, they’re really fucking hooked.

Yunho

Yunho really wants a long career in show biz. Of this I am certain.

Yunho is as ambitious and forceful as Seonghwa, as secretive as Yeosang, and as calculating as San.

He will have, at minimum, the most varied career.

Yunho’s trying out all the things at once right now, right? Solo balladeering. Acting in what looks like a comedy (geared at the Japanese market, where he seems to do really well, I think). He’s already developed MCing skills and has a pretty extensive resume. He’s tried his hand at lyric writing, with Hongjoong’s help. He auditions all the time for everything with every word.

We rarely hear about what he does and how he does them behind the scenes, but it’s clear that KQ’s editors adore him, first and foremost, 2N1D’s San biased editors also adored Yunho, so he’s really developed the social skills and knack for getting the people who have real power in determining how he is presented to being on his side. This is an awesome power.

Overall

I want these guys to just keep singing Edenary songs, because I’m not sure how much I’d be able to maintain an avid interest in any of their individual post-or-other-than-Ateez careers. (Not a true fan, maybe).

Hongjoong, in his July 17, 2025 Live, said that there were not very many other options for any of them to start fresh with a different company anyway, such that the time it would’ve taken to negotiated with a whole new company was a waste of time, which kind of goes back to how I keep thinking that Ateez are superstars and anonymous at the same time. They’re a big deal - they sell out stadiums, they have millions of followers, individually and together, they make enough to fly private jet for a US tour - and yet they’re not actually apparently a hot commodity in their own industry - not enough to poach or entice with sweetened deals.

Hi~

I think a Yunho-Jongho pairing would have been kind of a terrible idea, and I’m relieved that KQ (I assume you meant KQ) dropped it and/or Jongho forced them to drop it.

First and foremost, Yunho and Jongho look too similar. Before they matured out of their babyfat faces and prior to their plastic surgeries and make up choices, Yunho and Jongo actually looked exactly the same in the face. This is not to give permission to the racists who go All Asians Look Same, but! During my own baby-Atiny (what am I now? Toddler Atiny?) days I had a really hard time telling Jongho and Yunho apart, and I wasn’t the only one. The yellow writing is a highlight of the Korean youtube comments that were commonly left on early Ateez performance vidoes, and it reads: Are the blue haired and blonde haired ones twins?

From this compilation of their moments

I later realized there’s a significant height difference and demeanor difference between the two, but they really look very alike, and not in a way that enhances each other’s beauty. This is no good. This is the antithesis of Yunho calibrating himself to Yeosang to create a 4DX Stereo-Surround Geisha Boy Effect in their joint TokToqs that I’ve written about here. Yunho and Jongho tend to make each other disappear.

But beyond the unfortunate visuals (which is such a weird thing to say about two extremely handsome guys but hopefully you understand what I mean), there are Jongho specific reasons why any pairing between him and the others would not work.

• Jongho is very straight. He does not find playing at queerness either amusing nor worth it. He just finds it blatantly unbearable, and I’ve wondered if this is part and parcel with him being more a vocalist and less a dancer (though obviously a very skilled dancer). Dancers just touch each other a lot, singers less so, no? (Neither singer nor dancer here, so I’m just making this part up whole cloth).
• Speaking of worth it - Jongho doesn’t need to fight for attention from the audience in the same way as the people I am going to call the Corps - Wooyoung, San, Yunho, Yeosang, Seonghwa - have to. He’s kind of got his own space that’s very powerful, sometimes more so even than HongJoong, because the two rappers often are paired with each other, and Mingi also does double duty as Tall Dancer/ Formation Maintainer with Yunho. Jongho holds a featured soloist position for almost every song. He starts out already having won, so there’s nothing to compete for, as far as he’s concerned. So why do a pairing, when he hates that concept?
• Jongho has the most definitely solid plans for a post- or apart-from-Ateez career. He has an extremely distinctive voice and for someone coming out of the Idol world, a very rare powerhouse vocal capacity. I think, honestly, he can take it or leave it in terms of being an Idol.
• Jongho and Yunho together to me give off an old fashioned Korean masculinity (positive) vibe, that doesn’t fit with what sells right now to the Western market, where Kpop boy bands are generally making their money. The caretaking that Yunho gives Jongho, for example, is to be the only one to think of bringing out something warm for Jongho to drink while he’s shivering on the terrace alone, barbequing. Jongho will say he’s fine, Yunho will insist (this is the dance) and then Jongho will sip gratefully at the cup of broth or whatever while Yunho leaves him alone to do the meat scorching. Being a Korean woman from a conservative family, I find these moments extremely charming, because I see this sort of exchange all the time all around me, and it makes me feel affectionate for these guys, to see them be ordinary Korean men. But this sort of thing, I assume, doesn’t set Western fandom panties on fire, because you can’t eroticize it or read lore into it. It’s extremely dry, as fan service, is it not?

Post Script:

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I don’t know how gaming works or what it normally looks like. The most I’ve seen are young women on youtube who try to play some sort of first person shooter game and like, men are absolutely shit to them. So I assume that Yunho just … died? or something in that clip and he’s trying to not … curse?

I suppose if he really had cursed it would have been more impactful than anyone else cursing.

The thing is, Yunho does actually get angry in reality content quite a bit. Enough to make a compilation. And actually the reaction that Mingi in particular has about Yunho potentially getting annoyed - the alarmed body language, the scared eyes, the “화내지마!! Don’t get mad!!” urgency - makes me think that the capacity to get actually scary-angry but holding it (just barely) together is actually part of Yunho’s Idol Image.

Or??

Ooooh on the subject of luck I can wax lyrical, so here goes.

I’m a lucky person. I not only feel lucky, but I’m often also called lucky by others. This is one of the things that I guess I don’t mind having in common with my bias (reluctant, angry, makes me prone to violence) Yunho. Am I right in suspecting, Question of Luck Anon, that you yourself don’t feel very lucky? Because the questions you ask indicate that you don’t, since you’re clearly trying to figure it out.

To answer the questions you actually asked:

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