the very first step of getting over your fears is to have them. just like the first step to getting better is being worse than you wish you were, and the first step to becoming who you want to be is being who you are. don’t let your shame back you into a corner. you can only grow from here.

look at life as less of a race and more of a stroll. you get to set the pace. you get to plan your route. you can divert from the path sometimes, maybe even abandon your previous one altogether. you don’t have to keep up with those in front of you or slow down for those behind you – where they are has nothing to do with you. when you get tired, you can rest, and when you feel energized you can speed up. in any way, it’s a walk you’re on. and it’s your walk to be on. how you get through it and how you accommodate yourself and who you link arms with is up to you.

How something feels isn’t always how something is. Sometimes what feels like the end of the world is just the end of an era, and what feels impossible is just difficult, and what feels like betrayal is just miscommunication. One of the most important things you’ll learn in life is to not limit the world to your perception of it.

reasons people might be looking at you in public (that aren’t negative)

• they like what you’re wearing.
• you look like someone they know.
• they recognize a piece of clothing or accessory you’re wearing.
• they think you’re beautiful or attractive.
• they’re not actually looking at you; they’re completely zoned out.
• they're bored and people-watching.
• they recognize you from somewhere.
• they’re hesitating to ask you something or give you a compliment.
• they’ve seen you in that same place before.
• you caught their eye.
• you look like how they imagined a fictional character to look.
• you’re actively reminding them of something completely unrelated and they’re thinking about it.
• they’re admiring one of your visual qualities (smile, stance, hairstyle).

made some little collages for my substack articles/posts/stories (what are they called?) and wanted to show you because they turned out so cute 🥹

full new look under the cut! & read everything here ♡

Keep reading

what’s really intimidating is thinking that to be better or healed, you have to be positive, put-together and happy consistently, forever. it’s thinking that as long as you still experience insecurity, pain and anxiety, you’re not doing well enough. that’s the thinking that holds you back. not the fact that you’re not doing as well as you’d hoped, but the fact that every time you notice it, you lose faith in yourself. half the work is having grace in your heart for the version of you that wants to do better.

as the colder months approach: i wish you all a healthy, calm end of the year. i wish you tasty cups of tea, comfortable clothes, warm beds, nutritious meals in safe homes, good music, new friends and unwavering health. you deserve good things now.

gone a little crazy on substack lately so here are the posts i've written in the past 2 weeks:

• I'm Afraid Nobody Will Fall In Love With Me (read here)
• Do You Know What You Look Like? (read here)
• That Time I Got Cancelled (read here)
• Losing To Your Younger Self (read here)
• Holy Ghosts And Other Diagnoses (read here)
• Your Definition Of Yourself Is Wrong (read here)
• Elegy For The Girl Who Almost Spoke (read here)

I loved reading 'Losing to your younger self' (will get around to the rest later). It was interesting to learn about pathological nostalgia because I only recently stopped talking to an acquaintance whose behavior definitely fits the criteria without me having the words to properly describe it. I'm all for enjoying cute things as an adult and love re-watching childhood favorite Disney movies, it can get unhealthy though if you view your positive childhood as the only time that was and will be worth living in and not invest into your present and future.

Thank you so much for reading (and loving!) it! That was actually the one I felt most unsure about, as it’s the most research-y post I made. The others are more personal and anecdotal, kind of formatted like tiny little snippets of a novel I’ll never write (though they’re actual people I know and conversations I’ve had). I hope they’ll resonate with you, too ♡