shadaras

Sometimes adulthood is going "oh wow for once I don't have anything I need to do once I get off work" and promptly going and doing an errand and then washing dishes and doing laundry once getting home.

Assorted brief notes:


1.
My dojo is doing kyu testing this coming Saturday, which will be delightful. The two people testing are more than ready for these tests. (There's another person who we've been trying to get to test for years and it's just a matter of "please come consistently for a few months and take this test already!" at this point.)


2.
Wednesday evening classes are just. Draining. I do not like needing to be at school from 5pm-8pm. I didn't even when I was in college! Now it's just like "I wake up at 4:30am because of work, why must I suffer like this."

Also next week is going to be very boring because this week was a "oh shit the guest instructor suddenly can't make it" week and so they sort of half-assed an unprepared version of what they were gonna do next week. So. You know. I understood what they were teaching from the half-assed version, the teachers know that, but since most of the cohort was like ???, next week will be them going step-by-step through it with more prep. Which will be useful, and is good pedagogy, but is also going to Bore Me.


3.
h/t to trobadora for talking about Star Trek: Starfleet Academy, which mostly got me going back to Star Trek: Discovery, since Academy is set after Disco.

which means I am currently re-watching the first episode of s3, because I watched the first two episodes when they first aired and then fell off because... idk, it was Oct/Nov 2020 and I was running headfirst into QZGS and infinite flow cnovels...? But hey, Disco is a fun show, I'm so fond of Michael Burnham, and s3 is in some ways a soft reboot due to being right after the timeskip, so! Looking forward to actually getting to know the future timeline.

I do think that a huge amount of why I fell off is just... 2020 being 2020. Because I don't think I had nearly as much fun with this the first time I watched it, and now I'm just like "wow this is such good tropey fun, s3e1 is using so much good trope stuff to set up Michael/Book".


4.
god I feel like I had some other things. hm.

A podcast reminded me that Escaflowne exists, and that it's an anime that I probably would have been obsessed with as a teenager if I'd seen it then. Mecha and guys with wings. Normal things. xD I feel like it should be on crunchyroll but it's not? Alas. Probably for the best if I'm going to actually watch Star Trek right now, but I do want to at some point experience this show.


5.
Work is very nonsense.

...I think I was going to give examples, but, idk. just. nah. it's! a lot! and mostly not outright bad, just tiring, and takes too much time, as work does.

The journeyman I work with told me, before he left for vacation, that I was going to be in charge of the area/floor we've been working on while he was gone.

I laughed, because it sounded like a joke, but then he left and the bossman told me I was indeed in charge. Because, well, I knew what was going on and how it was supposed to be done and the bossman had been told that I was capable of being in charge.

So I was.

idk, like, I don't find it particularly hard to be in charge of two people (one of my cohort-mates and a fifth-year apprentice) (my cohort-mate kept getting pulled by the boss to do other things) who are perfectly content to listen to me since I did in fact know what's going on and have the specific subject knowledge. It takes more energy and effort and thought, sure, but it's not hard. It means fielding calls from the boss and calling him more when there are questions, and that's annoying, and it means keeping track of people and what's going on and what needs to be done next, which is... I dunno, I have a sense of that anyway? I just usually don't need to care?

Yesterday was the last day that I was in charge and we spent most of it in three different areas working alone because the boss had three things he wanted us to do. But also, like, in the afternoon I went and bothered the carpenters until they took down a sheet of drywall that they shouldn't have put up yet, put up the plenum that should've been put up earlier, and then got the carpenters to put their drywall back up with just enough time in the day to put up the vent that goes there.

And that's... dunno, it's not a thing I'm incapable of at other times, but it's not something I would've put as much effort into doing if I were not The One In Charge and therefore the one who is responsible for bothering other trades when necessary.

Yesterday I also heard like half a sentence of a conversation between my foreman and the electricians' foreman while I was heading to break, and then, after break, talked to the fifth-year apprentice who I was technically in charge of and who had been asked to fix a thing for the electricians. Told him what I'd learned from the electricians' foreman the week before when we'd talked about it and I'd gone "yeah, ask my boss about that". Flagged down the electricians' foreman, since I know him by sight now, got him to talk to the other apprentice and explain what needed to be done.

(Talked to that guy again today. He asked me how long I'd been growing my hair out, and said it was good to see more queer people on the jobsite. I signal that pretty visibly, since one of the few stickers on my hard hat is like "a queer person's place is in the union" sticker, but he's like the second person to mention it to me. Seems like a cool dude.)

just, idk.

Odd to think about how the framing of responsibility changes what I am and am not willing to do? I can enter this mindset easily once it's asked of me; I just usually don't if I don't have a need to.

There's something in there about rising to expectations but, like, it's more... It's easier to be confident when the people around you explicitly tell you that they believe in your skills and trust in your ability to do shit. The vibe of ~rising to expectations~ is different, to me. People say that more often in contexts where it feels like someone is below the standard or going above and beyond or something. This is more... "I know you are capable of this, you've proven that already, so I will continue to give you responsibilities commensurate with your demonstrated ability".

And if that comes with the bossman being amused by my willingness to talk back and correct him on shit, that's fine. xD He likes me because I listen, retain information, and do what he asks. He seemed pleased by how the last week went and how much got done, and so does my journeyman partner, who came back from work today and was like "yeah I really did tell the boss that you should be in charge while I'm gone, because you know what's going on and that's more important than that you're a third-year apprentice."

(also the bossman has finally proven what I have suspected for weeks: that we're missing some of the pieces we need for the finish work he's got me and my journeyman doing. and also the two apprentices I was given, who haven't yet been taken from us again, so I think we get to keep them and have a four-person crew on this piece of the work? that's nice. things will go faster with more hands.)

I started a post a week ago, got partway through, and then... stopped. I'd gotten what I'd wanted out of writing it, I suppose, and didn't need to either finish or share it.

So! Assorted things!


1.
Flying down from Portland to the SF Bay reminded me of the amount I like bahn mi (because the airport had a Vietnamese place and I was immediately struck by yes I want this), a thing that is technically possible to get in this area but takes more thought/driving than I prefer. Hanging out on the phone with hafnia yesterday as she made buns for bahn mi reminded me of this. xD (She was also formatting the almost-25k AU-of-our-OW-stuff fic she wrote for me while we were talking, which is why I ended up providing the title and most of the tags. Love some good angst with a happy ending! Grief/mourning! Trans feels!) (If you're like "wait if this is a gift fic why is it a co-author thing instead of a gifted work" the answer is "because this is what makes more sense as to the process according to us" and also I drew an art that's in there too.)


2.
Went back to work. Was told that yup, I'm still working with the same guy. Asked him what we were doing and was told we were still working on the same things as when I'd left. Two weeks passed and nothing changed. Is this soothing? idk. It's certainly easy.

One of the guys who does management in the company I work for stopped by the worksite, and one of his reasons was that he wanted to talk to me.

"I'm looking ahead to future jobs," he began, rather awkwardly. "Not sure how to ask this in a way that's..."

"Respectful?" I suggest, already knowing where this is going.

"Yeah, something like that." He pauses. "When I do the paperwork for some jobs, I need to record how many workers are female. Should I count you as female?"

"I am legally female," I tell him, which is true. (I have no reason to update paperwork? The ways in which I care make it more convenient to let everything continue saying F, in fact.)

Immediately, and with great relief at hopefully ending a conversation he does not have the vocabulary for, he says, "Great! No need to say more, that's all I need to know."

Because I am not bothered by this conversation, and in fact have been wondering how long it'd take for someone to actually have it with me, I continue anyway. "I'm a minority gender anyway," I point out. "And I know that women are the only minority gender they track, so you should put me in that category regardless."

He nods, and then I let him actually change the subject to that he's been told that I'm the best apprentice on the job site, and multiple journeypeople (including the one I work with) have praised me to him. A nice thing to hear. I knew this, but, y'know, it's good that it's being passed up to the people who make hiring decisions.

He also said he expected me to do very well, since I clearly am here to learn and put effort in. Asked me about school, and I told him that I'm looking forward to this year beginning and doing CAD, since that's something I really wanted to learn and get into. (Gotta say it while I've got his attention, y'know?)

At which point he's all "I don't want to make you feel like this is a bad goal but" and tells me that he thinks AI is going to be taking over that particular bit of the field. Which is silly, because even if you have an neural network generate a first draft of where it thinks ductwork should go in a building etc, you still need a human to check it over, and I do not think that significantly reduces a human's role in doing the work.

(also I talked to my best friend, whose job involves entirely too much going "AI is not what you think it is nor as good as you think it is" at professors etc at the university they work at, and they were like "yeah, AI is going to crash soon anyway just because it costs too much", so like. whatever.)

anyway work continues apace and is mostly not too exasperating even when I'm like "idk that this is the most efficient use of manpower, but whatever I'm not being paid to manage this" (can we just. stay on a floor until we finish it. instead of bouncing between three almost-finished floors.)


3.
I went out to the Albany area on Monday to visit a dear friend. Got reminded that (a) it's a really pretty drive, (b) it's not as long a drive as I think it is, and (c) we really really love each other a lot.

Was all "I visited you here once before, for new years before the pandemic" and she apparently has no memory of this? I have MANY specific memories of that visit. It's fine, just a bit "huh, okay", says something about the state she was in at that time even if she seemed fine to me then.

Talked a lot, mostly. About being trans, and dysphoria and what we're doing about it, about neurodivergence and our childhoods and families, and about the summer camps we met at when we were teens. (So many of the people we were like "hey do you remember—" about one of us was like "yeah, different name and pronouns now!" about. not many we keep in touch with, really, but even so.)

This was aided by her partner also being there going "wait can you explain context for me", because yeah we've known each other and loved each other for like... half our lives? That's a long time. We drift in and out of each other's lives but whenever we're in the same place again we fit right back together. It's gotten easier each time, too, as we become more ourselves.

She's going to be leaving again soon, as she does. She's built her own tiny mobile home that she can hook up to her truck and drive around. It's mostly done; she thinks it'll be pretty much complete for off-grid living in the next two years. Always more things she could add, of course, but it's so close, and she's been working on it for... I forget exactly, but I think it was a pre-pandemic project too. Wants to end up in the Vancouver area, she said, but she's stopping by I think Chicago region first to work on restoring a wooden sailboat a mentor left to her, because she wants to take that mentor sailing one last time before her mentor is too old for it.

We also spent (after her partner had to leave to drive back to CT) like an hour and a half just touching, and probably could've spent more time like that were it not for the pesky fact that I had to, y'know, be a person and work the next day, and thus had to drive home.

A good time. Hopefully I'll see her again before she leaves the area again.


4.
I reread Carol Berg's Transformation while travelling, and was struck by how much of it is foundational iddiness for me. xD I need to pick up the rest of the trilogy (borrowed that one from a friend who only owns the first, since they don't care about the other two) to see how much else is like "oh god yeah that sure was influential".

I'd remembered Seyonne's magic and winged form, obviously, but I'd forgotten Aleksander being cursed to transform into a giant cat, and some of the fate/soulbond-vibes stuff, and—

look I really love Carol Berg as an author but haven't reread her works in years and truly the only thing I could wish for about the ones I imprinted on is that I could have more women in them. xD Which is about par for the course for things with intense male-male bonds at their core.


5.
I went down to a river yesterday, because the afternoon was beautiful and warm despite the morning being gray. Beautiful little spot, kind of in the middle of nowhere in particular, rather hidden; the sort of place you need to intentionally look for.

Somehow didn't expect it to be warm enough in the water that my immediate response wasn't so much "yeah I wanna wade along this" as "no I gotta immerse myself in this"? Too used to California snowmelt still, even after so long in MA.

spent like an hour in there. didn't see anyone else until when I was like "okay I guess I am getting too chilly to want to hang out longer, should probably put clothes back on and leave". (The person I saw at that point was also like "yes this is a place for being IN WATER" so, y'know, same vibe. sort of nodded at each other and then continued on our ways.)


6.
Is it really an entry if I don't talk about aikido at least a little?

One of my friends is gonna take shodan at the beginning of November, so I've been going over to practice with them as I can. Got to do koshinage with them this past week at the end of class, because that dojo's sensei likes doing high-level practice as a demo for everyone else to watch. (His dojo is mostly newer students, so it's a joy for them to have visitors who can help showcase high-level practice, especially when it's stuff like me and that friend really going at it because we know each other well.)

The result of that particular session was us both going "gotta practice koshinage more". xD We both know three of them solidly, which is to be clear more than is necessary for the test, but there are two others they sort of remember and I should also know, so we're like "gotta show up to test prep and do some practice just on this". It'll happen when it can.

On Wednesday, one of the kids came to adult class; her schedule changed with the beginning of the school year, so that she can't make it to kids class, and she's got the height and skill for adult class even if she's a little younger than would ordinarily go to it, so... it worked out, she did great, everyone is taking very good care of her.

Gonna be a dojo party this afternoon, too, even with a storm likely to hit right over when it's happening. Always fun to see those folk outside the dojo in a more social situation. (They go out for drinks after class on Wednesdays a lot of the time and it's just like. I would love to join them, because alcohol is not actually the point, but my schedule is several hours earlier than anyone else's and so instead I'm like "alas I need to go home and eat food and shower and sleep". So. This is nice. It's at a time I can be a person!)

occasionally I remember that I actually have the ability to make polls (which I think is because someone gifts me dw paid time periodically? it is very sweet, thank you, I make basically no intentional effort to use those perks and usually forget I have them)

anyway I have been thinking about this and so:



Context:

I work at a site which is 5-10min away depending on lights/traffic. At the hour when I drive to work in the morning, it averages like 8min to get to the parking lot I must park in (which is further than the actual work site). I must get there before the shuttle to the work site leaves. I tend to get there like 10min before the shuttle leaves because I hate being late. Once the shuttle departs, it doesn't take long to get to the site, and then we are sitting there in the break room for ~15min before work actually begins.

Like! To be clear! This is not a bad commute even at the long form! I just! Don't enjoy being asked to show up to work 20min before work begins/before they'll pay me for my time! (Will I show up early on principle if it's by my choice? Sure.)

(also yes I suppose I could get there later and walk from the parking lot to the site, but uh that would get Commented On unless I still showed up at the work site at least 10min before work begins, so I'd rather just take the bus...)

would love to say I have thoughts in my head but xD not really, work is doing overtime and that eats my brain.


Things that are not work:

1. Friends at the Table started their newest season, Perpetua, in earnest! The first episode of main season play (as opposed to worldbuilding or character talk) is now out! It is JRPG-inspired, played in Fabula Ultima, and I'm very curious where they're going with it. It has very FatT theming and vibes. I think currently my favorite bit of it is actually the episode descriptions, because they're themed after richtext GameFAQ entries as if the show/season is indeed an actual JRPG videogame.

2. In the latest round of going "man, I should read more" to myself, I've reached the thought of "so if the problem is forgetting to make time to read, what if I just pick a time and take the choice out of it", which is fair and also I think that "what if I ban myself from getting on the computer without reading a chapter or so of a book" is a very silly outcome. (like. I suspect it will be effective. it just sounds silly when I say it like that. this in no way keeps me from the internet, there's just a limit on how much I like doing on my phone, so.)

3. It finally looks like spring! Everything is turning green! There are flowers! It's very nice so long as you don't have seasonal allergies about it! (I do not. I am watching other people suffer, though.)

4. I feel like (when I am not at work) three-quarters of my brain by volume is taken up by Blorbo Thoughts, which is extremely fun but also it is literally a fandom of two because these are our shared blorbos and this is in no way intended for anyone else. Whatever, we're having a great time, and the thousands of words it results in need zero other justification.



Things about overtime:

1. 10hr days are honestly not that big a deal except for also working Fridays, which makes it deeply annoying. (the Fridays are 6hr days. they're always 6hr days. it's still another day of waking up for work.)

2. The guy I work with was like "yeah I'm still used to driving to [city 1hr away] for work, so this is like normal" and I did not say "okay I get how that works but also I'd rather have the 1hr of commute time where I could actually listen to podcasts or whatever", because losing two hours of your day to driving (where you can't really interact with people but you can still choose what you're thinking about and consume auditory media) is rather different from working (where yeah you get paid but also it's. work.).

3. I don't think anybody knows how long we're going to have overtime. Or precisely why it's believed we're behind. This is something being pushed by people at least one layer of authority up from anyone actually in the field, and probably not even by our company directly. (big project, multiple layers, sheet metal is usually subcontracted anyway.) That said, I'm betting it's about the roof units and once that hits the goal time we'll get to drop back to normal hours.

4. Getting paid 1.5x due to overtime hours is, I think, something that matters more when you're being paid full rate instead of apprentice rate. (like, yes, it's noticeable! it's a difference! it's nice having the extra money! but my rate is currently half of the full journeyperson rate, so like. it is less of a difference.)

The unions' regional apprentice competition happened over last weekend (read: mostly Friday, actually, but it started Thursday and ended Saturday), and was very fun and... tbh easier than I expected???

which, uh. is probably why I was in-the-moment surprised and after-some-thought unsuprised that I placed first in the category I was there for (second-year apprentices).

( more specifics/rambling about this )

also possibly the funniest conversation I had during the event happened on the last evening, when I was chatting with two other apprentices. we ended up talking about how we'd all grown up playing D&D 3.5e and now play 5e and have Opinions about which edition we like better (4e got mentioned as being a completely different type of game and therefore not worth talking about). mostly it was like "okay how do you weight realism (what do you mean by that?) vs mechanical simplicity vs ability to make a build you like (and what even is that build)".

it's been like a month since I posted here, huh


Been busy, mostly work, which is interesting because field work means learning more things very rapidly but doesn't translate to things I think about saying.

Got moved from the one worksite (with a 50min commute) to the worksite I'd been expecting to go to since... forever xD The one that's like a ~8min drive from me, big job, going to keep on going for another couple years likely, and I could stay for a significant portion of said job.

The funny thing here is that, like, there's... the actual legit distance it is from where I live, and then there's the need to park not at the worksite but at the community college a couple blocks away because there would otherwise be too many workers parking at the site. So they have a shuttle. Which means that the functional amount of time it takes to get to the worksite is more like 20min, and you add another ~5-10min of buffer in, and— look, it's shorter on the way home, but xD it still feels kind of silly, and I probably only feel this because I live so close.

Nice to work with people who aren't anxious about everything, fun learning more details about doing this job than the people on that other work site cared about, glad to be considered competent enough to be tossed off to do stuff on my own sometimes or pulled in to help out with stuff that's genuinely two-person jobs.


mm, other stuff.


fffx revealed works this past weekend, highadrenalineexchange is on track to reveal works next weekend. In keeping with my normal feelings about these: I am very relieved that my recip likes the FFFX work, which I had a much harder time despite having so much time when I could've been working on it. I am so excited to know what people think of my HA work, because I functionally wrote it over the course of like maybe 7 days and I think it's great.

Got a mecha sci-fi OW fic for FFFX, which is fun for someone taking me up on my fondness for second person POV and also for seeing the worldbuilding they came up with. Still gotta get my head around writing a comment, because I'm apparently writing this post instead.

(for HA, I am getting two gifts! luxury. I already know who one of the creators is. I will probably be able to guess the other one once I read it.)


I ran a one-shot of Blades in the Dark yesterday! Gave them a suspiciously coffin-shaped box, told them not to open the box, and was somehow surprised when they actually listened and took it to the place it was going without trying to figure out what's up with it. Best outcome for their characters, frankly, even if it leaves the players with more questions.

Admittedly over the course of the game two of them got consensually possessed by ghosts (in exchange for the ghosts ruining a rival smuggler's ship) and one of them took a devil's bargain of attracting a devil's attention (making a dramatically scrawled runic array/sigil real instead of fake), so, y'know, how well are things going for them really. xD

Every time I run a game I'm like "wow I'd forgotten how much I enjoy GMing things, I should do this more often" and then it's like "okay in what time" xD I can make more time, if I try, but I'm not super fussed about it. I'll do more. We'll see what system I pick up next. (more fitd? I do love fitd. and I'll probably do something with Rapscallion once I actually read the book. I have the PDF. the physical book will arrive... at some point in the next few months..? I forget what the shipping schedule is.)


An array of shorter thoughts:
- It's been Actually Snowy the past few weeks but this week it's warm enough that it feels nice out and the ice is melting (meaning: it hit low 40s F today, and that trend continues through the week).
- Every time I wash my hair and have enough time to let it dry without doing anything to it, I get surprised by how many curls it actually has. This possibly says something about how rarely it happens/how much time I spend with my hair tied up in a braid.
- Aikido kids class has three children now, wow, it's growing!
- Andor s2 trailer! It'll begin airing on April 22nd, and tbh that knowledge is more important to me than anything shown in the trailer. Which is very much a trailer and also feels like it cares more about going "s1 was received so well so this is gonna be great too!" than about really showcasing this season, but whatever. It's happening. That matters.

hello I come bearing updates on life or something

---

1.

"Don't worry about doing it fast; I want you to take your time and learn how to do it right" is perhaps not exactly what I've been told at work fairly often, but it is the sentiment most of the time.

It's a nice thing to be told, but also it's something I ended up thinking about on Thursday/Friday when putting together ten identical pieces of large ductwork in a row.

( rambly contemplation and also comparison to aikido )

When I made those ten pieces in a row, I could feel myself figuring out how to do them more effectively with each repetition. The line I started this with is what the guy who set that task for me told me once he'd shown me what to do with the first one.

(He's my favorite of the guys at work because he seems to genuinely enjoy teaching me stuff, always has interesting stuff for me to do when I'm sent to work with him, and also has a good sense of humour and attitude. Plus he's easy in his body in a way that feels distinct from a lot of the other guys, despite this being a physical trade where everyone needs to know how to use their body effectively. I cannot define this difference, but I do know I tend to notice it and appreciate it.)

But yeah, it's noticeable when the first version of "make this" feels like it takes like an hour and you're making faces at most of the steps and periodically going "hey, what's going on with this?" and by the last one you're like "oh this took me maybe thirty minutes, start to finish, and I knew exactly what I was doing the entire time".

---

2.

On Friday I told my best friend they could come over whenever they felt like after they got off work, because we'd missed the last two weeks of hangouts (first because I'd gotten sick, then because they'd gone to Rhinebeck) and I missed seeing them. I was all "I'm making naan and curry, we can eat and watch the movie we've been meaning to watch for the last few weeks", and they accepted with great delight. (They love it when I'm like "yeah I'll cook food for us" because they like my cooking and also hanging out. xD This is distinct because when they agree to provide food for this sort of thing, it's "which nearby take-out place should we get stuff from?")

The movie was New Gods: Nezha Reborn, which is an animated movie on (USA) Netflix. As the title suggests, it's based on the Nezha story, which is one neither of us know a ton about. The movie made sure to clearly sign-post every relevant plot element of the original story, though, which was nice!

It's a beautiful movie. I'd fully believe it if you told me that it was at least partially created to show off the animation studio's water physics engine, because there were a few shots of water on rocks where I'd need to loop it as a gif to be able to tell if it was animated or real-life footage.

uh anyway the ACTUAL PLOT of said movie: In a cyberpunk dystopia where a city in drought has its water carefully rationed out by the rich assholes in charge, a young man works as a courier and motorbike racer. He is about to learn that he's Nezha's newest reincarnation and set off a series of events whereby he's gonna save his city and return the water to the people! Chaos ensues upon the way, of course, as various other people from the original Nezha story try to stop him or help him. The movie also tries really hard to say that he's in a relationship with one of two women and my friend and I were like "one's his adopted little sister and the other is his bestie/rival and he's more into his motorcycle than any human".

Definitely a fun movie except for the exactly one minute where a villain kills a kitten for no reason. :/ unnecessary. you can see it coming and skip forward like a minute and miss nothing. (that timing is a guesstimate but it's the vibe.)

---

3.

A Listing of Exchanges I Am Doing, ordered roughly by when they're due:

trickortreatex has a last few pinch hits that need to be completed by Halloween, but hey I did my assignment on time so now it's just waiting!

ficinabox's final extension is due in a week, and I need to finish up my last work for it. I have plenty of ideas; it's just about getting them done.

amperslashexchange percolates in my head and will eventually toss out an idea that isn't "hey so you know that kink you usually don't like and which your recip DNWs? what if you thought about an idea you really like that is entirely about that?"

DMBJ Rarepairs I have Ideas for and need to actually sit down and focus on at some point so that I finish it.

yuletide_admin assignments went out last week, and I need to do canon review for that before I can really start. Shouldn't be hard, just gotta do it.

fffx is creeping closer oh god I know what I want to do for it (I have known since assignments went out) but I still need to do that

---

4.

We're at the point in the year where the sun has barely really risen by the time I get to work.

Next weekend the USA does our time change and I guess it'll be rising ~earlier~ or whatever but that's fake and I don't care that we're gonna be ~gaining an hour of sleep~ or whatever, my body sets itself to the sun and it's literally the country deciding to induce jetlag on everyone twice a year and that's annoying.

(also I'd rather have the sun stay up longer after work, tbh.)

---

5.

I started watching Fangs of Fortune, a xianxia cdrama, yesterday (which is when it started airing). Beautiful show! I have begun to be able to see xianxia tropes coming, which is fun. I also deeply appreciate that it is a f/m show and therefore there are WOMEN and I can cheerfully go "yeah yeah I see the endgame het but consider: femslash". (There is also dudeslash potential I just nod at it and go "yeah that's kind of gay" and then promptly go back to thinking about the women.)

Two episodes in isn't enough for me to have thoughts about why/if it's a show to be recced for anything other than "holy shit it's pretty", but I'm certainly having fun with it and looking forward to watching more.

Work

Completed the first week at new job, which was generally quite good even if I'm like "why don't you stock boxes, why do I need to scavenge boxes to do a job you told me I should do which requires boxes" (I did not ask this of anyone, because it seemed impolite, but it is very ??? to me).

My body has decided that if I have an alarm set for 5:30am then that means I need to wake up at 4:30am, which is like... okay then... I guess that's fine...

Another apprentice started at the shop at the same time I did, and he's been doing One Thing all week (banging duct together) while I kept getting tossed a wider assortment of jobs, which I find entertaining and also quite useful for getting a sense of how the shop is arranged and what all even happens there.

One of the guys (they're all guys) was at one point like "are you having fun yet?" and it's like... the socially correct answer is 'yes', but fundamentally that's not the actual answer, because it's more 'this is satisfying work and I enjoy learning new things but fun isn't a word I would apply to it'.

also he tried to ask me what music I wanted him to play on his boombox and I was just like "uhhhh idk, anything? what's been on there has been fun?" and he was like "what, do you not have preferences/like music?" and it's just. look. I like a lot of music! the limitation of "needs to be at all audible over a sheet metal shop" cuts out a lot of what I want to be listening to, and then "should probably be something other people would enjoy too" brings my brain to a ??? point, especially when I wasn't expecting the question. (also, like, genuinely? I do not care, if I'm wearing enough ear protection to not find all the noise of the shop Too Much and Bad then I cannot really hear the music from his boombox unless I'm in the same quadrant as it anyway, which... isn't always the case!)

Media

Friends at the Table: Palisade had its post-mortem episode this past Thursday, which also marked FatT's 10 year anniversary. Wild to think about that! I haven't been following the show the whole time (a friend got me into it while s3, Winter, was airing, so... it's still been like ~7 years...) but it's been a while and it's like... one of the only podcasts I consistently make an effort to keep up with? It's fun. For me, a person who likes their style of actual play storytelling and worldbuilding choices. xD

Very curious about what their next projects are going to be, since I think their goal is to get both the Patreon project (Realis) airing around the start of October, and then... who knows, probably another month after that they'll start the next main season (which is in a completely new world with jrpg vibes)? idk. no solid timeline on that yet.

My friend and I also finished Killing Eve season one! Which means I now get to be what, six years late? to going "well that ending was sure a CHOICE" xD We're having a good time with it! Pointing at characters and going "GAY" at them is fun! So is watching everyone descend into shenanigans while they make terrible decisions.

I want to be reading more (I finished A Betrayal in Autumn, book two of the Long Price Quartet! I could start book three!), but rip work has stolen time and also focus.

oh I did finish season two of The Silt Verses and continue to generally enjoy the podcast. We'll see how long it takes me to listen to s3. xD

Aikido

(is it really a post if I don't talk about this at least a little)

Today sensei was like "hey lead some of the last bits of class, I want to do one of the jo katas you remember the move sequence of better than I do" and I was like "okay sensei", because I do like that kata and also it's fun reminding people how these kata work.

Also on Wednesday, I went to aikido after work because that's the day when kids class happens and I am committed to helping out with the kids class, but that also means I am at the dojo when adult class starts, and even if I'm like "I am TIRED it is LATE" I can't actually leave the dojo, the pull of aikido is too strong.

There is this thing about aikido, though, where being tired sometimes makes your aikido better because it forces you to find all the paths of least resistance as both nage and uke. You cannot use muscle because you have none to use. You're just present and connected and moving and the technique Happens somewhere along the way.

(also if we're doing weapons takeaways or grabs I am way stickier than usual by which I mean the bit of my brain I have taught to Let Go when appropriate forgets to fire and so people need to actually like. try. to make me let go. which is not bad precisely but does make their lives harder than necessary.)

Life Things

( job, car, eclipse )


Media Stuff

1.
A week or so ago, I read Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow (by Gabrielle Zevin) because of an offhand comment a friend made about reading it in one sitting and crying about it. (Honestly sometimes this is a better way to convince me to read something than actively trying? Depends on my mood and how much I've heard the name of a book around, I guess.)

It's a beautifully constructed and written book. It has absolutely incredibly well-drawn characters. It's a book about creativity (the process and business thereof), stories and games (as escapes and tools and works of craft), and the complicated ways people relate to each other (and the tangled paths that being in relation can take).

It is also not the kind of book I would pick up without a rec, for the simple reason of being set in pretty much the modern day and not having any sci-fi or fantasy elements. xD It is my sort of book for the way that a huge element of the novel was about videogames, though.

2.
y'know if I keep being busy/forgetting to comment on c_ent's weekly chat posts, I should remember to talk about these over here instead. xD

I've been watching Winter Begonia with my best friend, two episodes a week. We're up through ep16 now, and taking great enjoyment in seeing all the various PETTY OPERA GAYS play against each other in variously antagonistic and helpful ways. Also in seeing the way the Cheng family's relationships with everyone are horridly tangled up and often not good and could probably be improved by Actually Communicating, but who does that in a drama? xD

I've also been watching The 19th Floor by myself, which is clearly an adaption of an infinite flow novel. I'm 14 episodes in now (so, almost halfway through; it's a 30ep show) and deeply enjoying all the characters. The worst part of the show is the Requisite Heterosexuality Plotlines, which are fortunately not the main point of the show! The main point of the show is the characters (an ensemble cast with two main characters) getting sucked into a so-called video game and needing to survive and beat the level/scenario they've been tossed into.

Good survival horror stuff, and a ton of good intense theoretically-platonic relationships between various f+f and m+m pairs, and some great relationships between f+m pairs who aren't clearly supposed to end up together. (seriously, the amount that it's just the Requisite Heterosexuality writing that sucks/bores me is so funny.)

3.
In theory I am watching Mysterious Lotus Casebook with a groupwatch but I uh am paying at best 50% attention to that stream when it happens? xD; Alas! It is a show many of my friends like but which I'm like "it's fine?" about and have no strong interest in. I like getting some context for what they care about, and I like

4.
I keep having conversations with people about the Dungeon Meshi anime where I'm like "yes I hear many good things about that and I loved the manga". Maybe eventually I'll watch the anime? Who knows.


Aikido

yes yes this section is inevitable

Yesterday during test prep class, one of my best friends chased me around with a jo for several minutes at a pace and intensity that they later admitted was because they hadn't gotten to do that on their test. xD A different friend, watching, commented that it was "like taking a husky for a walk". Pretty sure I am the husky in question, in this case? (I do not think of myself as having that remarkable an amount of energy for aikido but, uh, my stamina sure is marked...) (also, like, doing this kind of pace/intensity is fun because I can keep going at that fast pace for a fair while but the moment there was a pause my body went "you're like right at the edge of your lungs rebelling against you now <3 because you stopped <3")

( more aikido )