Song silked. There are no more bugs.

Unless the speedrun trophies successfully tempt me...

( Read more... )

This includes all optional bosses that are accessible on the map during Act 2, except for Voltnest (which is technically accessible with some funky jumping but it's inconsistent getting up to it without Silk Soar, so no, I'll do that in 3) and defeating the final boss of Act 2 whilst cursed.

( Read more... )

So here I am, at the start of year ten. Ten years since I was was last well, and was unceremoniously written out of society and all common life milestones... and I'll likely still be in the same position at the start of year twenty, and thirty, if I make it that long.

On the plus side, bad days are done for another year. For the first time in many years, I didn't feel my grief for it as profoundly as I usually do: I was very mellow, I only cried once (and that was over thinking about Ashe experiencing healing from receiving love from her chosen family on days she would have felt most lonely) (I want her to be cherished so badly), and the 25th was blissful in the sense of how silent it was. Not a single sound that was not being made by me or allowed into my periphery. Beautiful. My entire block of flats is empty right now, and there was no street noise at all for over twelve hours and what this tells me is I need to move to the middle of the moors or something lmao, noise sensitivity is a continuous curse. :') I will get a little repeat of this for NYD, so that will be nice.

I've also reached the point, after perhaps six years, of not... missing it? This is normality to me now. I still yearn and want things, but there comes a year you get really bent out of shape about it and cry a lot, and that's kind of the acceptance that you won't ever get to do those things again. It still hurts sometimes because ofc it does, but it's not destroying you anymore. I still have to avoid any and all mention of what those days are, but it's something?

I've been mostly playing Silksong for three days, interspersed with occasionally tidying in the other bedroom by flattening boxes/packaging when my brain has been too on fire from atmospheric pressure. I'm reaching a point of most of my furniture projects being ninety percent done individually so need to go through everything temporarily stored again to tackle what's leftover... and continue with Silksong. I'm almost through Act 1, so I'll make a post about bosses soon, I think. It's been frustratingly fun and a fantastic distraction when I needed it most.

Following the ongoing "hi, we're the Overwatch team, and we decided to simply Delete our old aim settings and give no ETA to when we are going to fix the botched camera for console" fiasco, on Friday (maybe Saturday?) my iphone popped up like hey I want to upgrade you to ios26 from 18. Me, a fool, sure, do that after I fall asleep.

I have regretted this decision ever since. I really need them to be more clear if they're upgrading the version to something brand new on the prompt, especially if there are UI changes, because I simply would not have done it. Ever since it upgraded to ios26, I have barely been able to use my phone. Two of four days I have had a migraine all day from having used it in the morning after waking up whilst my brain and eyes are still adjusting to being conscious - this is prime brain empty time, there is not much I can do in this state other than wait and I just aimlessly look at apps until I'm able to form thoughts. I have never had migraines or issues from screen usage until ios26 popped up. I don't know what it is, exactly, but I swear the colours on my phone are different now, it's like it's a new screen... and it probably is partly caused by liquid glass, which I can't turn off. I've tried waiting it out, since I know there can be an adjustment period visually, and sometimes small UI things I'll stop noticing after a few days, but if anything my migraines are getting worse and all day every day is a no, no thank you, looking at my phone for a couple of minutes makes my head want to explode. There's a lot of lag when scrolling, which is a hardware issue, but the additional dealbreaker is the intense vertigo and headaches the new animations cause. When apps open, they now drop in to the centre of the screen from wherever they are located, which I have alleviated a little by rearranging all my apps to be in the centre three lines so I can somewhat tolerate it - it's still bad, but I can at least open them without feeling like I'm going to throw up. When notifications drop down, they now do a pulsing effect instead of simply... dropping down. This makes me feel sick, every time, without fail. Not everything needs to move, Apple!! Stop!! If I go into accessibility - which I have gone through extensively, trying to change and correct colours, and adjust screen brightness and contrast to no real success - and go into motion to turn off the brain breaking animations, this is not actually accessible at all, because it replaces the animation with a new aperture animation every time you open an app, which is worse.

I use my phone for pretty much everything these days, especially when I haven't been able to open or get on my laptop. I need my eyes to work, or else it makes my vertigo and dizziness worse, and gives me migraines. I now have a very expensive brick, and it's not great!!

It's especially not great when brain is having issues with Overwatch and issues with trying to see if I can tolerate new lightbulbs that I can't determine because it can't tolerate screens of Any Kind due to being so overstimulated that all light on screens seems off. :| I need something to be stable and safe. My options are to either downgrade to a phone that can't get ios26 to get back onto ios18, swap to android, or, as I have just done, plead with my parents to maybe let me have their old iphones (same version as mine) that they fortuitously upgraded just before ios26 came about and should still be on ios18. I am going to have to put everything on the cloud and hope it can pull from that, because I can't do a backup restore to a lower version, and it is going to take days of pain in the interim to fix it, but anything is better than this longterm lmao.

Do not become extremely sensitive to noise and light. It's so infuriatingly disabling.

Let's start with the positive... I beat base Hollow Knight. 🎉🥳

( Final boss introspective, or, ''I wish I could SEE'' )

In less positive news, Overwatch changed its aim assist for controllers with the launch of season 20. ( I swear whenever they remember console exists they simply screw us over )

Either way, I really could have done without having to deliberately set my brain off to find out what it can tolerate... this is a game I've played every day I've had ME, almost, I'm very used to it, I have long practice at what vfx I have to be careful with and things I just don't see anymore. Now everything is like a micro aggression on my brain, like it's learning it new, and if it were new it would have long led to dealbreaker. I do not want the thing that makes my brain settle and burn less on a bad day with visual familiarity to do the opposite of that.

Ashe skins are cute though. I love her. I miss her. I've been sleeping consistent eight hours but also overall not enough and had to pass on furniture getting this week, so I will attempt to do some work on finalising the rewrites for chapter 8 of undercoverfic through the weekend at the very least...

Whilst playing Hollow Knight I've been loosely following a guide about which area to go to next, because a good chunk of the start of this game is manoeuvring yourself around to get abilities so you can actually do stuff, and to get other abilities you need x ability first, etc. I'll also open up a map to figure out where map guy is to buy the map from because I hate not being able to see a minimap, it's a dealbreaker, but the internet solves that one decently.

None of the bugs in the Silksong lp I watched bothered me. There were a few in Hollow Knight that did, the most egregious being Deepnest's spiders. The problem is they run across the foreground by the camera in front of Ghost, in the player's plane of view, so it's an exercise of being spider jumpscared, and if you have a crippling spider phobia...

Yesterday I finished the area that gave me the Crystal Heart, which allows you to fly horizontally and cross large gaps until you hit an obstacle. Neat. Where next? Deepnest, the walkthrough said.

Hell no, said I.

Here's what I did today instead of going to Deepnest.

( I have discovered I can play this game for several hours if I use compression gloves which is how I played it for seven hours today. Woops )

This week has been a bit of a wash; groceries have almost completely wiped me out, despite adequate rest around it. And also the sun going down by like 15:45 and it being pitch dark by 16:15. It just makes my body demanding more rest (when it's already rested for 10 hours, mind) stressful as it means no sun and I want to at least see daylight, even filtered through curtains, at least a couple hours a day... I say this, but darkness is the best light level for me, because I can completely control my surroundings as the ambient is consistent... it's a very sucky quandary. Food is also causing general issues, in that I think I have a tomato regularity limit (I had issues last time with certain herbs added and tortilla chips it had veto'd so nixed both of them. This time it was a bit unsettled digestively but relatively minor), and cous cous is not accepted. Why? Who knows.

Still, I need to vacuum over the weekend before dad tackles the other bedroom, and I will help, a bit. Mostly with changing bedsheets after I remove the plushies to put on a spread blanket in my living room on Sunday, as that's my limit. With removing and flattening boxes, carrying out furniture and old electronics, and then changing and moving the bed, probably just a few hours. I'm hoping it doesn't wear me out too much, I would like to do some writing, which is at the moment restricted to solely the adjacent grocery week and even that's a maybe.

I also managed to hurt my finger next to my thumb by firstly playing Hollow Knight (the jump button is bad. It requires a long press every time. I had to remap it as my thumb said no after one room. My finger can manage it for an hour maximum at a time) and also freezing weather so now it has blown up double its usual size. Yay fun ME things!!

Mogtomes has begun and so has a copious amount of Cliffhangers. This is good because I can do jumps easily enough but not actual content when my finger is hurting as much as it is. Stadium is going: changes this season include gains being nigh nonexistent once it places you where it thinks you should be, but as I'm All-Star everything, my main goal is simply comp points. And trying earnestly to learn a Brigitte build. I've noticed one particular build destroys tanks and you guessed it... it's a fire based build... as a D.Va lava connoisseur this speaks to me. And learning things about my Ashe build - the last power I pick doesn't describe the bonus ability damage as being yet another burn to add to her tally, and I didn't notice because my target is usually already burning when it activates, but now I know my third eye has opened honestly. Why have one burn every twelve seconds when you could potentially have ten on a target all at once??? Much to think about.