It's Always More Complicated

Latest in the Guardian You be the judge column: should my girlfriend stop scrolling on her phone while we’re watching TV?

After we finish work in the evenings, she’ll constantly be watching videos on Instagram or reading stuff on Reddit while we watch television together. I think that the time we spend together in the evenings should be sacred. I want to do stuff as a couple, but can’t if she’s not fully present. We recently had a friend from university, Penny, come to stay with us and Fran started scrolling during a film we were all watching. Penny backed me up and told Fran it was irritating.

Okay, the elephant in the room here for me at least is that they're supposedly spending time 'together' but they're watching TV, and apart from the thought that this isn't what I particularly consider 'together time' to be treated as hallowed, who has chosen what they are watching, eh?

(Hint: I think it's Edward.)

Plus it becomes clear that they treat watching TV/movies as a different kind of experience (whether this is to do with Fran's ADHD or not, deponent sayeth not, people are various):

I watch a film with my own eyes, not someone else’s, but my boyfriend and best friend seem to think it’s a collective experience. They want to enjoy the punchlines and discuss the plot together.... I watch a film with my own eyes, not someone else’s, but my boyfriend and best friend seem to think it’s a collective experience. They want to enjoy the punchlines and discuss the plot together. I have my phone on mute when they are watching TV, so I don’t buy the fact that it disrupts their viewing experience.

People enjoy things differently. There is no 'correct' way - okay, those people who are yacky in theatres/cinemas/concerts and deploy their phones to the point of interference with the enjoyment of others, they are Doin it RONG - but how people consume things is getting awfully close to the 'it's not really reading IF---' some made-up thing.