1-State of the Phnee
Today was very light on the sleep and very heavy on the Quaker. To quote one of my favourite TikTokers: “I shall explain.” (Seriously, if you are on TikTok, check out Philogène, she is hilarious!)
I think I mentioned that I had to sacrifice some sleep today because of the Worship Sharing on Health Concerns. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal, but boy howdy was I wrong about that! We were plagued by the weirdest tech problems I have ever experienced using Zoom. I started out by clicking the new link the organizer had sent just last night, and it didn’t connect, but kept showing a message that it was “waiting for the host to connect.” Now, I knew this couldn’t be right because the host/organizer has set up this meeting to not have a lobby/waiting room. I exited the meeting and went back to the original link that had been sent out a few days ago (identical to the one I clicked, I might add!) and immediately found myself in the meeting with two other people, but with no sign of my co-hosts, which was very weird as it was now a few minutes past the hour.
Before I could figure out what had gone wrong, though, I had to go into de-escalation mode with one of the attenders. She is one of the main reasons we started this worship sharing circle, because she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s sometime last year (if memory serves). She had been worried when no organizers were there when the meeting started and then struggled with the mute function and promptly burst into tears because she was so flustered and upset. We worked through it, but it was pretty distressing to have her become upset by the very thing which we hoped would be helpful. Alzheimer's is a terrible disease, folks, even in the very early stages.
I got hold of the host by phone, and she was in a state because her internet had gone down, and then once it was running again Zoom insisted on updating, making her very late to her own meeting. That was when she told me that she and the other host were in another meeting with three attenders because they couldn’t get the first link to work at first. I have no idea how that’s even possible, but here we are. She agreed to bring everyone over because I didn’t want to force the attender with Alzheimer’s who was already super upset to have to log off our meeting and then log onto another one, but a few minutes later she texted to say they couldn’t do it and so we were going to simply have separate meetings. Oof.
Things actually went well after that. The two attenders and I had a quiet, intimate conversation about the challenges they were facing, and I talked a little bit about the challenges we’ve been having due to KK’s increasing levels of disability, as well as the frustrations I’ve been having at work trying to get a very simple accommodation (I don’t remember if I’ve mentioned it here before, but basically I have nerve damage in my spine from 2022 and I need a functional headset to do my job. One of the workstations at work has a phone which cannot take a headset because the jack is broken, and I’ve been asking them to replace it for nearly a year with no apparent progress.). It was a really nice conversation. The other attender is a really nice lady, but she is VERY ADHD and kept talking long past when the attender with Alzheimer's had mentioned she was tired and wanted to stop, so I stepped in after about five minutes when she asked yet another question and firmly but gently told her we were going to stop and have a few moments of worshipful silence. And THEN, bless her heart, she KEPT TALKING during the silence about how great silence was and how much she needed it. *facepalm* She is a sweet lady, but my God, the irony.
Once we were done, instead of being able to go back to bed, I then had to debrief with the other two hosts, because of course we weren’t privy to the contents of each other’s meetings. That debrief took another hour, so it was nearly 1pm by the time I was able to go back to sleep.
On the one hand, I am lamenting my lack of sleep, but on the other I am glad that I did choose to go, because otherwise who knows how upset that first attender would have been when no one showed up to talk to her? And my co-hosts and I were able to talk through some solutions for next time. We’ll be implementing some best practices moving forward so that we have some redundancies in place.
I’ve been working on Quaker stuff on and off since I got to work, too (when not dealing with actual work, that is). I’ve realized now that I’m the clerk of Ministry & Counsel that I really need to step up my game. I’ve been sort of coasting in a more advisory role for the past two years but now is not the time to be indecisive about things. The first thing I’m going to work on is our organization and communication. I decided after some deliberation and discernment with the other members of M&C to create a dedicated Gmail account for us. Originally, I thought this would be useful in preventing Members and Attenders from Ottawa Meeting from constantly bombarding only one member of M&C (who is a registered therapist) for advice and services. This way most of the requests will come to all of us, rather than just her. Now, however, I think it will serve a much more vital role. I’m going to use the calendar function to schedule all of our monthly meetings, as well as to handle the Greeter schedule on Sundays (we need an online Greeter and an in-person Greeter every time), and also all of our worship sharing sessions, Claremont Dialogues, and whatever else comes up. I’ve also created a bunch of folders in our Google Drive for agendas, meeting minutes, and reference documents. I don’t know how much the other members of M&C will use it (all of them are in their seventies and eighties), but at the very least it will allow me to track and share things more easily.
I’ve also sent out a bunch of emails from the new account to try to wrangle all the cats that have gotten loose in the past week or so. Here’s hoping I can get all my ducks in a row on this front. I want M&C to start being more active and present in the Meeting, because I get the feeling that we’ve been at a bit of a remove for years (long before any of the current members were there, for that matter) and many younger attenders at Meeting have no idea who we are or what we do. I’m going to reach out to the clerk of Adult Education and Outreach (I hope it’s the person I think it is—I will have to double check) to talk to them about the possibility of hosting a series of Ministry & Counsel 101 sessions: basically very short sessions, probably online, when people can come online, listen to a 5-10 minute presentation on a specific topic that M&C deals with, and then ask us questions if they have any.
I still need to write queries for our Claremont Dialogue about using technology/hosting hybrid meetings. I have a bit of writer’s block because I know that I’m super biased on the pro-tech/hybrid meeting side of things, and I want to write queries that will allow everyone to express their opinions but also encourage them to be nuanced and discerning when they do express said opinions. Being a spiritual leader is hard, yo!
In completely unrelated news, I’ve continued listening to Persepolis Rising and am happy to report that my favourite character is not dead and is just much older and even crankier than before. I am overjoyed. ;)
2-State of the smallholding
The kitchen sink appears to be stopped up again, which I only noticed just as I needed to leave for work. I can only hope that KK doesn’t somehow make it worse the way she did last time. I’m not sure where my plunger is, but I will try to locate it and maybe go to Canadian Tire to get a proper plumbing snake on my way home. I’m working an hour of OT this morning anyway for a coworker who has a medical appointment, and then I need to stop for gas, and there’s a Canadian Tire right next to the Costco where I’ll be getting gas for the car anyway.
I need to get over my weird psychological aversion to finishing up the tidying/cleaning/organizing of the main space in the house. Like, yes, sure, it’s all overwhelming and A Lot, but if I don’t do it, it’s not going to get done, and I am the only one it bothers, so obviously if I want it fixed, I need to fix it myself. Part of it is that I am resentful at having to do it by myself when I am not responsible for a significant portion of the disaster. I do realize that this is kindergartener reasoning: “It’s not my mess! So-and-so made the mess, it’s not fair that I need to clean it!” No, Phnee, you live in a communal household, so communal chores are communal. Even though I don’t have an official autism diagnosis, I suspect that this falls under the rigid thinking/strong sense of “justice” criteria as well. Having a strong sense of justice often gets mistaken for a person being more moral or ethical or just than other people, but that’s a misconception: it’s an internal sense of justice, based entirely on values that you pick up from your family, community, and immediate surroundings. Much the same way a toddler will stomp their feet and complain it’s not “fair” that they have to go to bed when older people “get” to stay up late. So, yes, I think that’s probably a chunk of what’s happening, here. The other part is that I just hate cleaning because it’s hot and painful and time-consuming and mind-numbingly boring, regardless of whether I listen to music or a podcast or an audiobook, or whatever else to distract me.
I’m not really going to have much time to do any of said cleaning until next Monday, after all that. Today I have my follow-up appointment with the bariatric clinic, tomorrow I will need to carve out some time for grocery shopping, Saturday there is the “threshing session” that I mentioned the other day, and on Sunday we still don’t have an online Greeter for Meeting, and then we have the worship sharing session for the State of Society Report, followed by the Continuing Meeting of Ministry & Counsel for all the M&C folks across Canada. All of this means that I am going to be absolutely *fried*, and that attempting to do anything other than very light cleaning is going to end in tears, either metaphorical or real.
Next week, however, I have several days off, and even though I have a couple of commitments I mostly have a fair bit of time to schedule as I please.
3-State of the news
Well, François Legault has resigned, sort of unexpectedly and sort of not. The Coalition Avenir Québec (CAQ) has had a horrible year full of scandals, resignations, and horrifying budgets. They’re currently in a neck-and-neck race for last place in the polls. He has no clear successor, and they’re staring down the barrel of an election in the fall. It looks like the Parti Québécois may be poised to form the next government unless something huge happens between now and the elections.
In international news, all eyes are still focused on Iran and Greenland. There are ICE agents moving into multiple cities and states in the US, terrorizing the citizens and violating the constitution right, left and center. The silver lining is all the videos that have been posted online of ICE agents who don’t understand winter slipping and falling on their asses on the ice-slick streets. ICE defeated by ice. The irony is delicious.
Canada is looking at a 2.3% increase in dairy prices starting on February 1st. Ugh. It’s not a huge increase, of course, from an individual standpoint, but having dairy go up while all other prices are skyrocketing feels like an extra kick in the teeth.
In happier space news, a Canadian astronaut is heading to the moon this April, as part of NASA’s first crewed mission to the moon in over 50 years! This is very exciting. His name is Col. Jeremy Hansen, and he’s part of the Artemis II mission. Slightly disappointingly they will be orbiting the moon only and not landing, but still, it’s pretty freaking exciting. I hope they livestream the launch so people can watch. Yay, moon!
Catch you on the flip side, friends!
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, I’ve found a winter sport I like – I have become an okayish skiier to be sure and that does make it feel like there’s a reason for winter. I’ve learned that I need to get outside in the winter, to let whatever meagre light there is shine on me, a few years ago I started walking to and from work in the winter, even though I work at home. I get up, have my coffee and then dress and go around the block back to the house and start work. I go the other way when I’m done at my desk and at least that gives me a sense of rhythm and a little bit of outside time. I lean into candles and twinkle lights and try to embrace the idea of a season of rest and renewal, preparing for the hustle of summer. I walk in the snow. I go to the gym and run on treadmills and ride inside bikes and I lift heavy things. I knit heaps. I read a lot, and up until the last few years I write a lot too.
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