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The Measure of My Powers
Until you're known in my profession as a monster, you're not a star.
This journal should be viewed with discretion.
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Created on 2010-09-01 22:45:48 (#559176), last updated 2017-04-16 (456 weeks ago)
15,099 comments received, 9 comments posted
1,511 Journal Entries, 138 Tags, 0 Memories, 5 Icons Uploaded
| Name: | nobadcats |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | Jul 12 |
| Location: | Illinois, United States |
Great Moments in History, 3000 B.C.: Dinosaurs Board the Ark
"I dunno if this is gonna work, God," says me.
"Wattayamean, it's not gonna work!" says God. "I'm God! Of course it's gonna work!"
"Well I'm just not sure if you can fit em all," says me. "The brachiosaurs weigh fifty tons each just by themselves an that's not countin the other seven hundred dinosaur species we gotta get on the boat."
"Well of COURSE they're not gonna fit if you bring 'em on full SIZE!" says God. "First you gotta let em dry out so's they shrink back down to their original pill form. THEN, once the flood's over, you take 'em back outta the package, add water, and watch 'em grow!"
"Well," says me. "I GUESS that could work."
"Trust me," says God. "I had like fifty of these things when I was a kid. The first thing you do..."
"RRRAAAAAARRRRRRHHHHH!" says the T-rex chompin God.
"AAAA!" says me runnin away.
"OH GOD!" says God. "So many teeth!"
"An that's why bad things happen to good people," says me.
"Giblets wants ice cream," says Giblets.
"Well, think me up a cup of coffee and a chocolate doughnut with some of those little sprinkles on top, while you're thinking."
When you win at grammar you win at LIFE.
"No one... I repeat, no one ever died for a flag. They may have died for freedom, which, by the way, includes... the freedom... to burn the fucking flag." --Bill Hicks
“Spirituality is one’s relationship to the Divine. Religion is crowd control.” --Swami Beyondadanda
"My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose." --Bette Davis
"Most importantly, I just need to know which shoes to wear." --Me
I live in a different version of The City than the one I did before, and the one before that. I have a cat. She's amazing. I live with
cynstress, who's ace at boiling water. She doesn't mind all the swearing and lets me copy her all the time. She's the best roommate and friend a girl could ask for. Don't even try to wake her up early.
If you add me to your f'list, please comment and let me know how you found me or where I might know you from. Since I quit my stupid corporate job, most posts are unlocked so that My Awesome Dad can read and comment, this is subject to change if I feel the need for more security. Every day is de-friending amnesty day here.
Rock on with your bad self.
"I dunno if this is gonna work, God," says me.
"Wattayamean, it's not gonna work!" says God. "I'm God! Of course it's gonna work!"
"Well I'm just not sure if you can fit em all," says me. "The brachiosaurs weigh fifty tons each just by themselves an that's not countin the other seven hundred dinosaur species we gotta get on the boat."
"Well of COURSE they're not gonna fit if you bring 'em on full SIZE!" says God. "First you gotta let em dry out so's they shrink back down to their original pill form. THEN, once the flood's over, you take 'em back outta the package, add water, and watch 'em grow!"
"Well," says me. "I GUESS that could work."
"Trust me," says God. "I had like fifty of these things when I was a kid. The first thing you do..."
"RRRAAAAAARRRRRRHHHHH!" says the T-rex chompin God.
"AAAA!" says me runnin away.
"OH GOD!" says God. "So many teeth!"
"An that's why bad things happen to good people," says me.
"Giblets wants ice cream," says Giblets.
"Well, think me up a cup of coffee and a chocolate doughnut with some of those little sprinkles on top, while you're thinking."
When you win at grammar you win at LIFE.
"No one... I repeat, no one ever died for a flag. They may have died for freedom, which, by the way, includes... the freedom... to burn the fucking flag." --Bill Hicks
“Spirituality is one’s relationship to the Divine. Religion is crowd control.” --Swami Beyondadanda
"My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose." --Bette Davis
"Most importantly, I just need to know which shoes to wear." --Me
I live in a different version of The City than the one I did before, and the one before that. I have a cat. She's amazing. I live with
cynstress, who's ace at boiling water. She doesn't mind all the swearing and lets me copy her all the time. She's the best roommate and friend a girl could ask for. Don't even try to wake her up early.If you add me to your f'list, please comment and let me know how you found me or where I might know you from. Since I quit my stupid corporate job, most posts are unlocked so that My Awesome Dad can read and comment, this is subject to change if I feel the need for more security. Every day is de-friending amnesty day here.
Rock on with your bad self.
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