Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

Today is the two month anniversary of my mother's death.

I have my life back.

The past two years have been hellish. 

Mom was full care, entirely bed-bound, probably with Alzheimers.  Really should have been in a nursing home, but she would have died in a week.  Homes don't have the staff to take care of someone like that for years, especially when Covid hit.  

My sister and I took excellent care of her, that's why she lasted so long.  She wasn't eating or drinking very well in August and we figured she wouldn't last past September.  The last two weeks were sad and discouraging.  She was basically skin over bones. 

But, no one lasts forever.    My mother, Genevieve Gertrude, was 100 years old.  She was the last one.  My sister is now the matriarch.  

I was hardly home, usually left around 10am and came home after 10pm, sometimes later, 7 days a week.  No days off.   Everything revolved around taking care of mom.  My house looks like a hoarder lives here because I didn't have any time to clean.  I'm slowly working on it.  It still feels weird being home at a normal time.  And, I can watch whatever I want on TV!!  No more stupid cop shows!  I think I saw every episode of CSI Miami three times, at least. 

All of my pet collecting sites suffered because I had no time. 

My physical and mental health has suffered.  I have so many doctor appointments to catch up on. 

We are still adjusting.  I can't say I'm sad, as her death was truly a blessing for her.   That was no way to live.  She was dead to me a couple years ago - that fleshy body was not my mom.  I disconnected mentally pretty well.  Or so I think.  I hope I die before I become mentally impaired.  I don't have anyone to take care of me as well as we took care of her.  I have no hope for sympathy from the next generation.  

And my fav kitty, Ratchet died one week after mom.  He was 14yo and had kidney failure -  I cried hard over my stupid cat and I still miss my lovey-dovey boy.  Bluestreak is still here, but he had to cause me stress one week later, just to keep me on my toes.  He got constipated and had to go to the emergency vet.  Second time he couldn't poop.  Poor baby.  Now he gets Miralax daily to keep him regular.  Blue is also 14yo, so I won't get any more cats until he goes.  Maybe I'll get a dog, but I have to shovel my house out first.  There is absolutely no floor space for a dog.  Good thing I have no friends - I'd be too embarrassed to have anyone over with how things look. 

I'm feeding and bought outdoor houses for a couple stray? cats that hang out on my deck.  They are both tuxedo cats, one looks just like Bluestreak, and I call her? BlueTwo.  The other has long hair, and I call him? Longhair - a very original name, I know.  Bluestreak could be a great-great-great grandfather or something.   They're skittish but I can get within a couple feet of them.  They are very friendly to each other, so might be related.  They are either dumps or just wandering neighborhood cats.  I can't touch them...yet.  

Things should get better for me now.   I can't wait to go somewhere, I haven't had a real vacation for over 10 years.  We'll see what comes up next year.  

And that's the poopy-scoopy.  Good night.

Jan thru April 15th, I worked at H&R Block every Sunday. I wish I could do more, as I love preparing taxes. But, it's that mom-thing stopping me. This year will be my 30th year as a tax preparer. I better get something good as my corporate longevity gift.
Gawd, I'm old.

In May, I went with my friend Nancy to a special opening day dig at Penn Dixie Fossil Park.
https://penndixie.org/
Pounding on rocks with a hammer was fun, even though I didn't find anything spectacular. Mostly corals, and I brought some rock chunks back to work on at home - which I haven't done because of - no time.
We paid extra to go that day, and I don't think I will do it again because I found the same stuff in the middle of the season the year before. I would love to go back though, as I find it fun.

July was TFCon in Toronto. Seems so long ago, I can't even remember much about it. I'd have to look at my pics. I did catch up with tainry for a seminar. It was nice to see her. I didn't buy much, although when I got home I bought a masterpiece Ratchet from ebay for a cheaper price. I think. Hmm, I never thought to consider that the Canadian exchange would have been a better deal. Ah well, too late now, He is beautiful and my masterpiece twins are happy.

August my brother came up for his yearly visit. It was nice to see him, he did a lot of work around the farm. I had some things I wanted to have him help me with at my house, but we didn't have time. I really need to do something about my shed sinking into the ground next summer.
Oh, and he set me up under his Netflix account so I could watch stuff. I am really enjoying that, but I have to make sure I put the tablet away so I can get to sleep at a decent hour.
I went to the county fair only once by myself. My usual fair buddy had other things going on and we just couldn't get together. Made me sad, but I am so glad I went alone. My autographed Grimlock in the box won first prize in the collectible Transformer category. Woot. I was pretty happy, and Grim has been hard to live with ever since. I entered a few other things, but didn't win anything else.

I fell off the deck in September and hurt my hip and heel. What a jerk. Here's the story, which begins with a HUUUGE spider who took up residence in the hibiscus on my deck near the door. I came home one evening and noticed he had a web from the plant to the corner of the house, about two feet across. Since it was late, I figured I'd move him to the woods on the weekend. Saw him the next couple of days, procrastinated about moving him since he only came out at night and when I got home I was too tired.
One night, I had both hands full of bags, took the 3 first steps, turned right, next step and ran right into a spider web. Well. I kind of shrieked and panicked like a little girl - because I knew how big that spider was and didn't want him on me. I guess I stepped back and missed my footing, completely missing the 3 steps. Landed hard on my right heel, and jarred my left hip joint when I somehow kept my balance and didn't fall on my face. I should have dropped the bags, maybe I wouldn't have made the jump. Anyway, my leg was really sore for at least two weeks. My heel still hurts, and I'm going to try to get an xray just to see if I cracked it or if it's just a serious bruise. Not that they can do anything with it so late, it is probably healed as much as it can be. But, it is hard to walk and I want to blame my limping on something other than old age.

Sept was also when I discovered my good Internet friend had died in August. She disappeared from the pet sites and DW, which was odd because we communicated almost every day. There was a hurricane going thru her area in Florida and I thought the hurricane hit her town an screwed up the internet or whatever. Beginning of Sept, I finally sent her a letter via snail mail to see how she was and included my phone number if she needed to talk.
Her dad called me and said she passed in August. I was shocked. She was only 51, younger than I.
I cried a lot, couldn't go on the pet sites for at least 3 weeks. I miss her so.

Oct and Nov was pretty busy with work and trying to catch up with tax classes. I procrastinated with the classes and had to rush in Nov to finish by the end of the month deadline. But, I did finish and promised myself not to do that again next year - basicaly the same promise I made in 2018. Someday I will finish classes by August. - - - bwahaha, yeah right.
In the office, I was behind on a lot of proofing, because I couldn't do mom stuff and office work at the same time efficiently. My sister has been pushing more and more on me - she just doesn't want to take care of ma any more. But, she still won't bring in any outside help because she 'doesn't want strangers in the house.' She is STUPID. But, I have no say, it's not my house and I'm not responsible for mom. Eh, just insert random bitching here.

Nothing exciting in Dec, Still behind on proofing, but I just do the best I can.
My brother sent me a Charlie Brown tree because I was bitching and depressed. It did make me a little happier - it is kind of cute. I also put up some Christmas lights in the corner of the room which does brighten that space (and my mood a bit when I look at them).
He also sent me some money to get a new laptop, as mine is starting to fail. It's about 8 years old and I guess it's time. I really hate Win 10 though, I'm gonna be messed up for awhile trying to figure out settings and stuff. I probably should see if I can take a class somewhere. Ha, who am I kidding - I don't have time for classes.

I am making a crock pot apple pie for tomorrow's dinner. I have no clue how it will come out, I figure it might not look nice, but will be edible. My sister is making a prime rib roast. Yummy.

Ah, It's midnight for me. Happy New Year!

Don't forget to note the first song you hear tomorrow - it will set the tone for the whole year.
It was true for me in 2019.