I feel as though I am about to pass out from exhaustion. I am not 20 years old anymore, man! Was up again until almost 4am, yeah I’m stupid. I fell right to sleep for once though, but then was rudely awakened at like 6am by my brother screaming, asking my mom something. Like, really bro? Sigh.

I did end up falling back to sleep, but it made getting up at 8:30 so much harder, and I woke up closer to 9am, than I would like to admit. Of course, that made me about 5 minutes late; oh well. I’m only here until 1pm, so I can go home and hit the hay …but I can barely keep my eyes open…Ha-ha.

I haven’t been to the gym in over two weeks, and it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but I already feel horrible. I need to start that back up. Maybe I’ll go on Friday, since I am off, and Saturday. I need to figure out WHEN I want to go. I would LIKE to go in the morning, before work, and just get it out of the way…but with the way my sleep schedule has been lately that doesn’t seem possible.

I really don’t have any energy when I leave work and the LAST thing I want to do, is go to the gym. It’s why I haven’t been going the last few weeks. I used to go after work, but that was when the weather was nice, and the sun kicked up endorphins in me… ha! Now, I just want to go home and relax and be as lazy as all possible.

I am just not feeling so great and it’s really bothering me. I haven’t even been eating that badly, but just imagining what we’ll be eating from here until New Years has me cringing and in serious need of exercise… ha-ha.

I really just want to buy a treadmill or something for the home, but we have a serious space issue; there is none. With two brothers, who hog up a lot of space with all their crap (Paintballing Gear, Motorcycle gear, pool tables, etc etc), there’s very little room left to fit a treadmill (or other device). My room MAY fit a very small stationary bike, but I hate those. I always feel like I don’t get enough of a workout on one of them. I like a machine that can work out my whole body in one (like an elliptical/treadmill).

In other, completely random news, my skin is very soft today. I am shocked because with colder weather, comes dry skin…but today, my face feels really soft and I love it. The winter can stay away! HAHA. It really is shocking that we’ve been getting some kick-ass weather (High 50’sF -Low 60’sF). It’s usually so damn cold by now… ha-ha.

So yeah, I need to make myself a little list here of things I need to seriously do for my own health:

♥ Seriously be in bed by no later than 12:30am. That gives me at least 7 hours of sleep and enough room to go to the gym before work Tuesday-Friday.

♥ Start back up at the gym; I have slacked enough!

♥ Stop getting Subway every other day. Although it is not ‘as bad’ for you, as (pretty much every) other fast food places, I feel like I could do without it, and would feel better. Like yesterday I got their cold cut trio, and it was on the salty side, which of course doesn’t help me feel better. So, I need to take a break from going there.

♥ Find motivation. I don’t know how people find motivation, it’s different for everyone …but I need to seriously find what works for me. I’m not a child anymore, damn it!

♥ Stop thinking I will fail at everything. Just because I have failed so MUCH in my life, doesn’t mean I can’t still move on and learn and grow. I need to stop letting fear control me (this one is easier said, than done).

Oh well, I am going to get some work done. I’m only here another 2.5 hours *happy squee*