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Sticky: Sporking Poll Results
Oct. 9th, 2025 01:09 pmWell, everyone, I’d like to take a moment to give a hearty thank you to everyone who responded to my little poll – I really do appreciate it! And now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for (or not) – the results (mostly compiling votes from the comments here, plus a couple on Discord)!
Part I: For this question, I think we saw a pretty good spread of interest, actually, but we did end up with a clear winner pulling ahead – Five Warrior Angels by Brian Lee Durfee, with 5.5 votes (a few of you were split between two options, so I’m counting that as half a vote for each of said options). For our other options, we had 4 for the Dreamers, 4 for Arts of Dark and Light, 2.5 for Kingkiller, and 1 for Destinies of Blood and Stone!
Part II: For this one, we only had two options and voting was very close, with RoP initially in the lead, and then Mithgar gradually catching up until they were actually tied for a while; however, Mithgar ended up winning out, with 10 total votes! RoP still got a lot of interest, however, coming in at second place with a respectable 7 votes!
So, where does that leave us going forward? Per my current schedule, we should be wrapping up both Scrolls of the Ancients and Fellowship of the King in December, leaving us ready to move on to something else for the new year, appropriately enough. So, my current plan will be to begin The Forgetting Moon, first volume of Five Warrior Angels, then and then the Iron Tower omnibus shortly after, alternating on Mondays (while still doing Embers on Fridays, because I think we need to stay on that weekly to have any hope of finishing in a reasonable time😉). In terms of my sporkings of Tolkien derivatives, because the voting was pretty passionate on both sides and because I wanted to do both options, and hopefully as a way to help avoid burnout for both myself and all of you, I think I’m actually going to do Iron Tower, then Season One of Rings of Power, then Silver Call, then Season Two of RoP. So no matter which of those you voted for, you should have something to look forward to in the foreseeable future! For my potential fantasy sporks other than Five Warrior Angels, I’ll also be keeping them in the back of my mind as well and may do something with them someday. I also do intend to do one-post reviews of each of the Destinies of Blood and Stone books (which I’ll plan to post here, on Das_Sporking, and on Anti-Shurtugal) so we can all see how that series… well, not so much ends as just sort of stops. I’ll try to get all three of these done next year, though I can’t promise the exact timetable.
I’d like to extend a heartfelt thanks again to everyone who voted – seriously, hearing from all of you guys makes slogging through bad (or at least frustrating) fiction worth it, and I want you all to know I really appreciate you! On a semi-related note, I’ve also been wanting to try and get back in the groove of writing some of my own stuff (mostly fantasy); if I posted some about it here, would anyone be interested in that? In any case, thanks again, and I hope everyone who’s interested will follow along with my new projects in the coming year. See you then!
Part I: For this question, I think we saw a pretty good spread of interest, actually, but we did end up with a clear winner pulling ahead – Five Warrior Angels by Brian Lee Durfee, with 5.5 votes (a few of you were split between two options, so I’m counting that as half a vote for each of said options). For our other options, we had 4 for the Dreamers, 4 for Arts of Dark and Light, 2.5 for Kingkiller, and 1 for Destinies of Blood and Stone!
Part II: For this one, we only had two options and voting was very close, with RoP initially in the lead, and then Mithgar gradually catching up until they were actually tied for a while; however, Mithgar ended up winning out, with 10 total votes! RoP still got a lot of interest, however, coming in at second place with a respectable 7 votes!
So, where does that leave us going forward? Per my current schedule, we should be wrapping up both Scrolls of the Ancients and Fellowship of the King in December, leaving us ready to move on to something else for the new year, appropriately enough. So, my current plan will be to begin The Forgetting Moon, first volume of Five Warrior Angels, then and then the Iron Tower omnibus shortly after, alternating on Mondays (while still doing Embers on Fridays, because I think we need to stay on that weekly to have any hope of finishing in a reasonable time😉). In terms of my sporkings of Tolkien derivatives, because the voting was pretty passionate on both sides and because I wanted to do both options, and hopefully as a way to help avoid burnout for both myself and all of you, I think I’m actually going to do Iron Tower, then Season One of Rings of Power, then Silver Call, then Season Two of RoP. So no matter which of those you voted for, you should have something to look forward to in the foreseeable future! For my potential fantasy sporks other than Five Warrior Angels, I’ll also be keeping them in the back of my mind as well and may do something with them someday. I also do intend to do one-post reviews of each of the Destinies of Blood and Stone books (which I’ll plan to post here, on Das_Sporking, and on Anti-Shurtugal) so we can all see how that series… well, not so much ends as just sort of stops. I’ll try to get all three of these done next year, though I can’t promise the exact timetable.
I’d like to extend a heartfelt thanks again to everyone who voted – seriously, hearing from all of you guys makes slogging through bad (or at least frustrating) fiction worth it, and I want you all to know I really appreciate you! On a semi-related note, I’ve also been wanting to try and get back in the groove of writing some of my own stuff (mostly fantasy); if I posted some about it here, would anyone be interested in that? In any case, thanks again, and I hope everyone who’s interested will follow along with my new projects in the coming year. See you then!
Embers: Chapter Nineteen, Part I
Jan. 16th, 2026 09:01 amThis is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which Prince Zuko makes a very distressing discovery. )
( In which Prince Zuko makes a very distressing discovery. )
Warning: This post necessarily contains discussion of a particular individual's history of abusive and bullying behavior and general bigotries.
The Arts of Dark and Light: Summa Elvetica
By Vox Day, aka Theodore Beale
Alternate Title: An Introduction To An All-New Fantasy Saga That Will Likely Put You Off Continuing It Further
SPORKER: MasterGhandalf
SUMMARY
In a world torn by religious and political conflict, the head of the Amorran Church decides the time has come to answer one very important question – do elves have souls? To determine the truth, a young priest is sent on an adventure so irritating that by the time it’s through, none of us will probably be left caring about the answer, if we ever did to begin with. Following this will come a series of shorter tales which supposedly set up the “epic” to follow, but at best tend to raise more questions than answers and at worst will leave the reader mystified as to just what the author is trying to accomplish, if not horrified by the implications – but hey, the great news is, very little of this is going to end up mattering anyway! Save for possibly more insight into the author’s mindset and creative process than we ever needed or wanted, that is.
( Introduction to Vox Day )
( Introduction to the Arts of Dark and Light and Summa Elvetica )
( Table of Contents )
By Vox Day, aka Theodore Beale
Alternate Title: An Introduction To An All-New Fantasy Saga That Will Likely Put You Off Continuing It Further
SPORKER: MasterGhandalf
SUMMARY
In a world torn by religious and political conflict, the head of the Amorran Church decides the time has come to answer one very important question – do elves have souls? To determine the truth, a young priest is sent on an adventure so irritating that by the time it’s through, none of us will probably be left caring about the answer, if we ever did to begin with. Following this will come a series of shorter tales which supposedly set up the “epic” to follow, but at best tend to raise more questions than answers and at worst will leave the reader mystified as to just what the author is trying to accomplish, if not horrified by the implications – but hey, the great news is, very little of this is going to end up mattering anyway! Save for possibly more insight into the author’s mindset and creative process than we ever needed or wanted, that is.
( Introduction to Vox Day )
( Introduction to the Arts of Dark and Light and Summa Elvetica )
( Table of Contents )
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which I experience the most remarkable feeling of deja vu )
( In which I experience the most remarkable feeling of deja vu )
Embers: Chapter Eighteen
Jan. 9th, 2026 09:05 amWarning: This chapter contains discussion of genocide and abuse.
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which Healer Amaya discovers just what secrets her new apprentice has been keeping. )
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which Healer Amaya discovers just what secrets her new apprentice has been keeping. )
By Dennis L. McKiernan
Alternate Title: The Lord of the Rings: The Off-Brand Version
SPORKER: MasterGhandalf
SUMMARY
In a legendary world that may or may not be our own in the distant past, evil is stirring. An ancient sorcerer tyrant, a disciple of the god of evil, has returned to his fallen kingdom, raised his dark tower once again, and readied his legions for war. In response, a group of unlikely heroes belonging to a short-statured, generally peaceful humanoid race will be called on to go on an epic quest; they will find themselves traversing demon-haunted dwarven ruins, aiding the kings of Men in battle, and eventually must infiltrate the sorcerer’s realm to destroy the artifact that is the ultimate source of his power and prevent the world from falling under an eternal Shadow.
…what do you mean, you’ve heard this one before!?
( ”Introduction” )
( Table of Contents )
Warning: This post contains discussion of all the gross and squicky elements of the Chronicles of Blood and Stone.
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2. Previous installments of this spork may be found here.
And so, everyone, we have come at long last to the end of Robert Newcomb’s Chronicles of Blood and Stone. What have we learned on our journey? Mostly that Robert Newcomb is a hack writer utterly undeserving of the hype he initially got as a major new voice in fantasy, that he has some very disturbing views on women, a very gross fascination with gore and edge, can barely string a story together to save his life, and that his ultimate fall into obscurity was very well deserved. What more is there to say? But before we go, let’s take a look back at both the trilogy as a whole and The Scrolls of the Ancients in particular, to not only see just what is so bad about Newcomb’s writing but also why, and maybe if there are any lessons we can take away from his writing about how to do this stuff better (aside from the obvious “don’t be Robert Newcomb”).
To start with, we’ll go back over some of the elements specific to Scrolls (but I think by this point we’ve all got a pretty good handle on the issues Newcomb has with characters, plot, writing, theme etc.) and then zoom out a bit to take a look at the Chronicles in their entirety, now that we’ve completed our trip through them. Onward!
( The Scrolls of the Ancients Final Thoughts )
( Chronicles of Blood and Stone Final Thoughts )
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2. Previous installments of this spork may be found here.
And so, everyone, we have come at long last to the end of Robert Newcomb’s Chronicles of Blood and Stone. What have we learned on our journey? Mostly that Robert Newcomb is a hack writer utterly undeserving of the hype he initially got as a major new voice in fantasy, that he has some very disturbing views on women, a very gross fascination with gore and edge, can barely string a story together to save his life, and that his ultimate fall into obscurity was very well deserved. What more is there to say? But before we go, let’s take a look back at both the trilogy as a whole and The Scrolls of the Ancients in particular, to not only see just what is so bad about Newcomb’s writing but also why, and maybe if there are any lessons we can take away from his writing about how to do this stuff better (aside from the obvious “don’t be Robert Newcomb”).
To start with, we’ll go back over some of the elements specific to Scrolls (but I think by this point we’ve all got a pretty good handle on the issues Newcomb has with characters, plot, writing, theme etc.) and then zoom out a bit to take a look at the Chronicles in their entirety, now that we’ve completed our trip through them. Onward!
( The Scrolls of the Ancients Final Thoughts )
( Chronicles of Blood and Stone Final Thoughts )
Embers: Chapter Seventeen
Jan. 2nd, 2026 03:58 pmMG’s Note: Apologies to everyone for another later-than-usual post.
Warning: This post contains depiction and/or discussion of violence, deaths, mind-control and imperialism.
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which a certain spirit discovers that it may have picked the wrong person to antagonize. )
Warning: This post contains depiction and/or discussion of violence, deaths, mind-control and imperialism.
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which a certain spirit discovers that it may have picked the wrong person to antagonize. )
Fellowship of the King: Final Thoughts
Dec. 29th, 2025 09:27 amThis is a repost from Das_sporking2. Previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
Warning: This post contains general discussion of all the various gross elements in the fic as a whole.
( Final Thoughts )
Warning: This post contains general discussion of all the various gross elements in the fic as a whole.
( Final Thoughts )
Embers: Chapter Sixteen
Dec. 26th, 2025 05:00 pmMG’S NOTE: Very sorry for the post going up later than normal; holiday delays!
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which Agent Shirong is very bad at his job. )
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which Agent Shirong is very bad at his job. )
JJ Abrams' Superman: Flyby
Dec. 25th, 2025 09:33 amThis post may also be found on Das_Sporking here.
( Introduction )
( 2002 Script )
( 2003 Script )
( Final Thoughts )
( Introduction )
( 2002 Script )
( 2003 Script )
( Final Thoughts )
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2. Previous installments of this spork may be found here.
( A Conversation with Robert Newcomb )
( A Conversation with Robert Newcomb )
Embers: Chapter Fifteen, Part II
Dec. 19th, 2025 08:50 amWarning: This post contains depiction of mind control and possession, as well as discussion of war, violence and imperialism.
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which the city of Ba Sing Se finds itself dealing with a decidedly unwelcome new arrival. )
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which the city of Ba Sing Se finds itself dealing with a decidedly unwelcome new arrival. )
Fellowship of the King: Ending Matter
Dec. 15th, 2025 06:27 amThis is a repost from Das_sporking2. Previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
Warning: This post contains discussion of spoilers for Amazon's The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.
MG: Well, everyone, the time is upon us – time to finally put Fellowship of the King to bed! It’s been quite the journey, hasn’t it? Who would’ve thought that what started with what looked like a cheap rehash of the openings of both The Hobbit and LotR would end up being… whatever the hells FotK actually ended up being. But before we get to my final thoughts, we may be done with the fic proper, but we still have a bit of ground to cover. First up, the final chapter was not actually the final piece of text in FotK – Polychron actually had one last poem to share with us! Aren’t you excited😉?
( The Lay of the Two Trees )
( The Blurb )
( The Lawsuit )
Warning: This post contains discussion of spoilers for Amazon's The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power.
MG: Well, everyone, the time is upon us – time to finally put Fellowship of the King to bed! It’s been quite the journey, hasn’t it? Who would’ve thought that what started with what looked like a cheap rehash of the openings of both The Hobbit and LotR would end up being… whatever the hells FotK actually ended up being. But before we get to my final thoughts, we may be done with the fic proper, but we still have a bit of ground to cover. First up, the final chapter was not actually the final piece of text in FotK – Polychron actually had one last poem to share with us! Aren’t you excited😉?
( The Lay of the Two Trees )
( The Blurb )
( The Lawsuit )
Embers: Chapter Fifteen, Part I
Dec. 12th, 2025 08:51 amThis is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
( In which Agent Shirong stops in for tea. )
( In which Agent Shirong stops in for tea. )
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2. Previous installments of this spork may be found here.
( In which the trilogy at long last arrives at something that might generously be called an ending. )
( In which the trilogy at long last arrives at something that might generously be called an ending. )
Embers: Chapter Fourteen, Part II
Dec. 5th, 2025 07:42 amThis is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
Warning: This post contains discussion of abuse and some violence.
( In which the Wens have guests for dinner, only some of whom were actually invited. )
Warning: This post contains discussion of abuse and some violence.
( In which the Wens have guests for dinner, only some of whom were actually invited. )
Some Sporking Thoughts
Dec. 1st, 2025 06:28 pmHey, everyone, MG here with some thoughts on future sporking and review projects. So, about two months ago now, you may recall I launched my poll for my next sporkings to follow Fellowship of the King and the Chronicles of Blood and Stone. For the latter, I proposed five epic fantasies I thought were bad for various reasons (Arts of Dark and Light, Destinies of Blood and Stone, the Dreamers, Five Warrior Angels, and Kingkiller Chronicle) and what ultimately won out with a majority of votes was Five Warrior Angels. However, as I’ve been reflecting on that series and getting ready to reread it in preparation to begin the sporking, a nagging worry has been growing on it in the back of my mind – is it really bad enough to merit a full chapter-by-chapter sporking? Or am I just letting issues of personal taste cloud my judgment and cause me to read too much into it? Not to mention that while I do have many issues with the story, it does take a while to get going, and a lot of my deeper problems aren’t really obvious until the climax of the third book (and these books are quite long, so it would take a while to get there!) when all the disparate plot elements come together and the identity and motives of the true villains are revealed. It’s leaving me unsure if I really want to go through with a full sporking of it.
So, I have some thoughts. First off, I definitely do want to do one-off reviews of the Destinies of Blood and Stone books, to finish off that universe, and have also been considering using that as a springboard to do more one-installment book reviews or analysis pieces on stuff I want to look at but for one reason or another wouldn’t want to commit to a full sporking of (and I have some ideas there!). I could go ahead and slot the Five Warrior Angels trilogy in as my next review project after Destinies, which would mean doing a recap, commentary and conclusions on each individual book in a single post, which might help me get to some of my overall thoughts in a timelier manner. OTOH, I could go through with the sporking of FWA as something more like a live-read (albeit of a series I’ve read before) offering my thoughts as we go in a more neutral manner, less of a “why is this bad” and more “is it really as bad as my original gut reaction made it out to be?” This might be an interesting, somewhat different approach to a sporking (I’d probably not reread the books before doing the sporking this way, so it’ll feel a bit fresher to go back through them again), though I worry it might also not be as entertaining to read.
Anyway, I thought I’d through this out there and see if anyone else has thoughts; personally, I’d be more inclined to go with the former and do Five Warrior Angels as individual reviews, but since people voted for FWA in the poll, I didn’t want to go ahead and make that call unilaterally. If I did, I’d slot one of the other poll options in as the next full sporking, probably Arts of Dark and Light since it was tied with Dreamers for second place, and I think would be more interesting than Dreamers to put beside Mithgar and Rings of Power. But again, I wanted to get some of my thoughts written out and put this in front of you all, because you’ve been a great audience and some of you have stuck with me for an amazingly long time now and I value your input. Thank you for understanding!
So, I have some thoughts. First off, I definitely do want to do one-off reviews of the Destinies of Blood and Stone books, to finish off that universe, and have also been considering using that as a springboard to do more one-installment book reviews or analysis pieces on stuff I want to look at but for one reason or another wouldn’t want to commit to a full sporking of (and I have some ideas there!). I could go ahead and slot the Five Warrior Angels trilogy in as my next review project after Destinies, which would mean doing a recap, commentary and conclusions on each individual book in a single post, which might help me get to some of my overall thoughts in a timelier manner. OTOH, I could go through with the sporking of FWA as something more like a live-read (albeit of a series I’ve read before) offering my thoughts as we go in a more neutral manner, less of a “why is this bad” and more “is it really as bad as my original gut reaction made it out to be?” This might be an interesting, somewhat different approach to a sporking (I’d probably not reread the books before doing the sporking this way, so it’ll feel a bit fresher to go back through them again), though I worry it might also not be as entertaining to read.
Anyway, I thought I’d through this out there and see if anyone else has thoughts; personally, I’d be more inclined to go with the former and do Five Warrior Angels as individual reviews, but since people voted for FWA in the poll, I didn’t want to go ahead and make that call unilaterally. If I did, I’d slot one of the other poll options in as the next full sporking, probably Arts of Dark and Light since it was tied with Dreamers for second place, and I think would be more interesting than Dreamers to put beside Mithgar and Rings of Power. But again, I wanted to get some of my thoughts written out and put this in front of you all, because you’ve been a great audience and some of you have stuck with me for an amazingly long time now and I value your input. Thank you for understanding!
This is a repost from Das_sporking2. Previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
Warning: This chapter contains discussion of deaths and violence.
( In which Polychron decides the end of the fic is the appropriate time for something completely different. )
Warning: This chapter contains discussion of deaths and violence.
( In which Polychron decides the end of the fic is the appropriate time for something completely different. )
Embers: Chapter Fourteen, Part I
Nov. 28th, 2025 08:45 amThis is a repost from Das_Sporking2; previous installments of this sporking may be found here.
Warning: This post contains some violence and discussion of abuse.
( In which Prince Zuko and friends encounter some quite unexpected difficulties. )
Warning: This post contains some violence and discussion of abuse.
( In which Prince Zuko and friends encounter some quite unexpected difficulties. )
This is a repost from Das_Sporking2. Previous installments of this spork may be found here.
Warning: This post contains violence, deaths and torture, and discussion of slavery and mind-control.
( In which the long-awaited clash between siblings arrives... and the trilogy's conclusion may prove rather less conclusive than expected. )
Warning: This post contains violence, deaths and torture, and discussion of slavery and mind-control.
( In which the long-awaited clash between siblings arrives... and the trilogy's conclusion may prove rather less conclusive than expected. )
