leupagus

So I’ve been getting a lot of emails from LJ in re: my paid account expiring, and you know what? Not renewing. The thing that I paid for is long gone; I hate LJ now, so they’re not getting any more of my money. I’ll still crosspost, but if you need me, I’ll be over at Dreamwidth or tumblr.

In the meantime, some excerpts from the failure that is my ability to make good choices friends-wise.

In which my ability to speak Russian sends fangirls into a frenzy for really unexpected reasons:
mklutz: ... are you fluent in Russian???
leupagus: oh God
not anymore
twentysomething : haha
leupagus: I was once though
thehoyden: wait, how did I not know this
wait: did you ever live in russia
leupagus: oh fuck no
thehoyden: dammit
leupagus: russia is cold and grumpy
thehoyden: I was going to use you for wheat googling
oh well
leupagus: sorry, can't help
I know somebody from Russia though if you need
twentysomething : HAHA
i love that thehoyden's first thought is MORE AUTHENTIC HOCKEY FIC.
(as it should be.)
leupagus: ...oh my God offer rescinded


In which I'm as Jewish as I wanna be and might offend some of my methodist flisters:
[Backstory: I'd just taken my grandmother to church]
leupagus: separately, apparently Methodists end their services with "Shalom." I was like, excuse the fuck out of me?
rageprufrock: you are FUCKING with me
seriously??
leupagus: seriously!
I was actually a little offended?
in a weird way?
I was like, guys, considering your proud tradition of killing my peeps, maybe not appropriating our blessings would be a cool thing yo
but to be honest I think that's my "Jewish when I want to be" self-righeousness
rather than actual offense
rageprufrock: well
it's knee jerk uncomfortable
you can't help that reaction
leupagus: true
but my grandmother was like, well we've always done that!
and I was like, ok, i need to talk to whoever's in charge
but apparently methodists don't have a pope type thing
rageprufrock: HAHAHA
A POPE TYPE THING
glorious
leupagus: WELL
WHATEVER
rageprufrock: there has to be a leadership council or something
of methodists
even if they don't have a pope type thing
leupagus: I guess?
Like Judaism doesn't really
the old joke, we're not a religion, we're an argument
so like anything that's not Judaism I feel like should have a pope type thing

In which - uh. Sorry
leupagus: also, dping bilbo?
waldorph: i mean, what
leupagus: nothing
nothing at all
I am not saying
a
single
thing
waldorph: like
i hate you
a lot
because this shit would not occur to me
i would be like: oh hobbit movie! how lovely!
but noooooo
leupagus: ahahahahaha
oh come on
don't give me that bullshit
you totally would've gotten here without my roadmap
waldorph: No. No. I was not part of LoTR fandom
I never shipped anyone
I was pure
leupagus: uh huh
sure
waldorph: fuck you man
leupagus: oh my God
you are so delightfully angry
waldorph: I AM MAKING DISGRUNTLED FACES AT YOU
leupagus: YOUR DISGRUNTLED FACES ARE THE BEST FACES
just deal with it sweetie
you're going to write me terrible dwarffucking
and it's going to make my life
waldorph: fine
i accept this
i'm a little worried about the hair, though
i mean, how do you write dirtynasty porn about guys with hair like pretty pretty princesses?
leupagus: hmm
good point
well and also the Scotty-Caan looking dwarf
has like beads in his beard and shit
which makes me think he's like a surfer bro dwarf
waldorph: this is what I'm saying