Mother of Re-Invention

1. Tea update: so far, I hate it.

Have been drinking Twinings English Breakfast while waiting for my Adagio advent box to arrive, and my verdict is it makes my mouth taste like I ate dried grass. But it is better for my stomach already, so currently I have a cup of tea and then a cup of coffee.

The Adagio arrived last night so this morning I tried their English Breakfast version. Verdict: a richer flavor of dried grass.

I got the Advent box so I could try a wide variety of tea types and flavors without committing to a full package of any. I will keep trying!

2. PT update: my next appointment isn't until January 7, so I have to get serious about doing my ankle exercises more consistently. It's tricky because some require me sitting with my legs extended (like on my couch), some require standing in bare feet, and some require standing in sneakers. I think I have figured out the best solution: to do them in the morning, but break them up and align them with my regular morning routine. The band ones get done in the early morning as I sit on the couch and play around on the phone with my tea/coffee. The barefoot stretches get done as I make breakfast and do dishes in the kitchen. The heel raises and balance ones get done after I get dressed and put on my shoes for the day. There is one more that is a barefoot standing one with a band, to work on strengthening my arches. Those get done here in the office, while I catch up on DW and do my own post.

My morning routine is very consistent and so far it has been v easy to fold these in, much like I did the bed-making and tidying up. I am encouraged this will work. An added bonus: my ankles and legs get nicely stretched, which helps a lot in moving around the rest of the day. Doing it at night when they are already swollen and tired has felt useless.

3. I am watching Pluribus. ( Read more... )

4. Several of my husband's gifts were gadgets for the car. I do drive a LOT, so what he got will actually help. There's a nice garbage bag/backpack type thing to use instead of throwing it all in the passenger foot well. A tray that sits in the passenger seat that makes it more level and has a couple of places to put small items so they don't slide around. Lastly, an automatic tire inflator, which I need since my tires appear to be very sensitive to weather changes and are low again. 

5. I hated Florida, and always will, but I miss my mother's house and my father's neighborhood. I miss how the neighbors were out and active, stopping by the dog run gate in the morning to say hello to Molly, joining us on our daily walks, just hanging out in the street and talking. I get why my dad spent so much time in the garage, overseeing all the goings-on but also being a leader of it. None of my neighbors are like that here. They give friendly waves and that's about it. Their neighborhood felt like a community, like the one we lived in growing up. 

I also really miss my mom's house. It had so much light and openness, and breezes across the house all the time. I went into some of the neighbors' houses, and theirs didn't have that. They had heavy furniture, or closed blinds, or just the set up was tighter and darker; Theirs felt like a house that could be in Mt. Prospect or Kenosha but just happened to be in Florida. My mom deliberately decorated and designed the house to maximize that warm resort feel. There was such peace and calm there. I don't want to recreate that here -- my small house is better suited to be full of plants and pottery and snuggly dogs -- but I definitely miss what she built there for them and for their guests. 

I miss it for them, and honestly I miss it for me. I spent almost five months down there -- three were just me and Molly -- and it was therapeutic as much as it was traumatic. Even when my sister was torturing me via text during that time, and oh God that part was very traumatic, I could still open the sliders to the lanai and listen to the breeze flapping the flag on the dock. 

Or maybe that's just winter boredom talking. 

 In the middle of week 3 on Wegovy. Week 2 was kind of a dud since I lifted the pen too soon and all the medicine dribbled all over my arm instead of going INTO my arm. Ooops. I muscled through the week but definitely overate since there was nothing stopping me. This week I managed to get the injection into my body, and I am feeling the effects, in a mostly good way.

1. I don't have cravings, and my food intake has cut back nicely. I get hungry and I do think about food, but in what feels like normal ways. I like only eating half of my dinner and having the rest for leftovers. (Because I still don't know how to cook the right size meal.)

2. A meal of too much cheese (like, say, manicotti for dinner) does not do well as it's leaving the body. I need protein in all of my main meals, and it can't just be cheese, dammit.

3. I include a fruit or vegetable with every meal. My snacks don't have to be protein, either; I had a banana mid-morning yesterday and that was sufficient to get me to lunch. 

4. The one big downsize so far is that my two cups of coffee in the early morning hours had to be cut down to one, and now I think need to be eliminated altogether. But I need some caffeine, and I need that warm drink on the couch in the dark. So I guess it's time to try some teas. I will get a nice English Breakfast, and a green one too, to see what caffeine level I can tolerate. My tea-drinking friends, feel free to offer recommendations!

My doctor extended my .25 prescription for another 3 months, so I get more time to adjust to the med. So far, so good. I only weigh myself once a week so I don't know how this week with actual medication in my system is going, but I feel pretty good. Last week I just maintained my weight.

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My fellow PT friends: how do you incorporate your at-home exercises into your daily routines? I am failing miserably at getting mine in, and it shows. My ankles hurt more now than they did when I started, and now my right knee (the leg that was not injured) is feeling sore and bursitis-y. I gotta do them regularly. What tips do you have for me?

Ok, gotta give the house a big, deep, clean today. Even removing cobwebs on the ceiling! 

 The first weekend of the 12 Days of Christmas Sale was stunningly good. In 3 days I made over $2100 gross, which is often what I make all month. My best year for November/December was 2023, when I opened up my big double-booth. I am less than $200 from that peak, and there are two more weeks to the month. It's going to be my biggest payout yet. So excited!

My boss told me that I came in as the 5th highest seller in the store last month. I bet I do the same or better this month. So very validating.

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Christmas shopping proceeds apace. I never get it done early, I am usually too focused on Thanksgiving, and Black Friday weekend at the store, and then getting the tree up and house decorated. By the time I start thinking about gifts, I only have 2 weeks to go, and I need to figure out shipping too. At least now it's only worrying about shipping to Connecticut for my sister, and Detroit for the nieces.

Speaking of painful reminders, USPS informs me there are a bunch of Christmas cards coming from my parents' neighbors and friends in Florida. I got weepy just seeing the email message. 

I don't do cards, haven't done it for years. But I will send replies to them. 

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One of the nicest things about being able to set my own schedule is that I can change it when the mood strikes. I was looking at my running list of to-do in my Notes app, and realized I really want to get out of the house this morning. So the at-home chores move down the list, and the outside errands move up. I think I will be adding a few thrift store stops too; Mama needs to source more to sell more!

Today is still bitterly cold, but it looks like it's the last brutal one for a while. Will be in the 20s and 30s this week. Yes, you warm-weather people, that's pretty balmy for us right now. 

 Two days later, the inside of my house looks better even if the outside doesn't.

The art glass and displays all over the house have been rearranged. I have 4 grocery boxes of lovely pieces that I have grown bored with and am taking to the booth. Some should net me a nice profit. 

The office is tidied, boxes have been emptied or moved, papers have been filed. There is so much floor space again I laid out Molly's favorite fuzzy rug from Florida and she has been snoozing away on it. 

The living room is lovely and calm looking. Still a few more decorations left to put on the tree, but the rest is looking very nice. I did some shopping in my booth and at a few others to find the extra ornaments I need.

The final task will be to repot some of the plants so the grouping under the TV set and by the window are perfect. R way overbought on indoor plants, and some are not thriving or are actually very ugly. So they probably will not survive the repotting.

The outside is still a clusterfuck. I have machinery in my driveway and ladders and soffits in my backyard. They have only finished the soffits on 30% of the house after two days of work. Turns out my 1959 house did not have 2025 standard-size soffits so they have had to custom-cut each one, and that requires a lot more time to do. Also, the weather has not been cooperating at all. This morning it is snowing AGAIN but expected to end around 10am It's 8:30 and they literally arrived as I was typing this. So they are busy working in the freaking snow to get this done. The only silver lining is that it rained during most of last night/today's storm so all the icicles and black ice melted and it's easier to get around. 

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In many ways, this year-end busywork very much resembles my year-beginning work, just in the opposite direction. Then, I was systematically taking apart every section of my parents' home and lives, while also doing the daily household chores for me and Molly. I collected all of their reading and regular glasses to donate to the Lions Club. Cleaned out the pantry of my dad's BOGO buys and donated hundreds of pounds of food to the local pantry, while keeping Molly's and my food stuffs in the space. Emptied out drawers and closets and cabinets, packing for home or donation or giving to neighbors or selling at the garage sale. Packing my mom's display items while rearranging the rest for staging. 

Now, I am nesting, building our home back up. Finding the new right spots for their items and mine. Re-imagining what my living room should look like. Spending time in an office space that I enjoy and don't want to bury in crap. Incorporating R's passion for plants with my passion for vintage items. Most of all, right now, after 30+ years on the road to Connecticut, Detroit, or Florida, we will be celebrating Christmas at home from now on. I am figuring out what I want that to look like. All the while, washing dishes and doing laundry and making the bed every day. And making sure I find pleasure in this, like my parents did. They loved fussing with their house, making it look pretty all the time. I just don't think I realized how much work went into that. 

I started Wegovy this week. Lowest dose, of course. I had done Zepbound last summer/fall but had no positive results and lots of horrible side effects. So I have experience with the weight loss drugs, and am nervous, skeptical and hopeful all at the same time.  

So far, Wegovy is a lot better.
1. I am definitely getting fuller faster, and have been eating half of my regular meals. I like that. 
2. No gastric issues. I did some reading and learned there is lots of anecdotal evidence that not doing the shots in your stomach area can help with that. So I did my arm this week. Will stick with arms and legs (you are supposed to move around the shot location weekly) and see if that continues. 
3. Still have "food noise" but it's not cravings, just trying to plan my meals better so I think about food more. 
4. Have lost about 5 pounds in the last two weeks (also doing Weight Watchers and that started sooner). 

I have my first followup with my PCP this week. I am going to ask her if things continue positively that I stay on 2.5 for as long as possible. I ran into trouble on Zepbound -- and my sister did on Wegovy -- as we moved up to higher doses. One lesson I am taking from last year is that slowing that down is probably better for my own body. 

Weight Watchers is also ongoing. There, results are mixed.
1. I am definitely eating better more often. Lots more vegetables and fruits and whole foods. About 60% good choices, 40% poor choices. 
2. There is the ability on the app to track your macros and calories as well as your points. This is helpful as I figure out what the right balance of food is for me. So far I am not getting enough of anything including calories but I am exceeding my points every day. Definitely off-balance somewhere. 
3. I have not yet taken advantage of WW's true strengths -- the community and the meetings. There are lots of in-person and online options, I am just biding my time a little bit before I jump in. I have been dabbling in the WW Reddit though. 

It's funny, everyone says starting weight loss around the holidays is hard, but for me it's always been the best time. I love fall and winter foods so much - squash and Brussels sprouts and roasted veggies and chili and all of it. I already earmarked tomorrow for Sunday food prep. Looking forward to it!

Weather Update: it snowed for about 24 hours. We have 10 inches of the fluffiest stuff in the backyard. This morning's trips outside have been short and to the point for the dogs -- in fact, Molly hasn't gone at all yet. She took 3 steps out and changed her mind. Abby went all the way out, but it's up to her belly so she can barely get around herself, so she kept it brief too.

That said, R told me that yesterday afternoon, Abby decided that she was going to teach Molly that snow is fun. So she did a bunch of play poses until she got Molly to chase her around the yard. He said it was freaking adorable. There was a few less inches then so it was easier for both of them. Will see if she gets her to do it again today!

(EDIT: R shoveled a big looping path around the yard for them, and they both enjoyed it a lot. Molly even got a loping run in for a bit, and they almost played again together. Abby ruined it by burying her head in the snow and then coming up with it all over her face. Molly took a step back with a look of horror/disgust, and went off to play by herself. LOLOLOLOL!!!)

We did close the store early, about 4:30. It was mostly dead all day but my boss did not want to give in until it was too late. So it was dark anyway on the drive home, and the roads were barely plowed (in fairness, the trucks could not keep up). So I white-knuckled it home. 

A little more snow is expected this morning, then it will be clear and cold. More snow on Monday night -- when I am working again. Sigh. 

Pretty worried about when they will finish the roof -- it's not going to get above freezing for the near future. Will talk to the contractor on Monday!

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Store update: we were the busiest we have ever been on Friday. We had a line of customers waiting at the door when we opened at 10, and 8 hours later we were shooing people out the door. Just insane, and in the best way. Love super busy days like that. I personally made 5x what I normally do on a good day. 

Hopefully people dig out and go shopping today for the last day of the sale. Personally, I would love to get out today if I can!

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Food update: the smoked turkey and the smoked mashed potatoes were pretty darned good. Have been eating leftovers for breakfast and dinner, a yummy skillet of cornbread/sausage stuffing, Brussels sprouts, mashed sweet potatoes, turkey, a slice of bacon and some cranberry glaze. Normally I would put all of that in The Sandwich, but I have been too lazy and too hungry to also make toast. R had two Sandwiches last night though. 

This week feels like salads and maybe I will defrost the spaghetti sauce I made last month. I have bags of frozen pasta I need to use up. 

Also, I start Wegovy on Tuesday.

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That's all I have for updates. Gonna do some data entry and make another batch of leftovers in the skillet. Stay warm everyone!

Dogs are at doggy daycare.

Roofers are here. They will be doing the tear down today, as well as removing some of the plywood to remove the insulation from the attic from the top. 

We discovered a random line going from the house to the electric lines in the back access area, but no one is sure if it is live or what it is for. I have contacted ComEd to come cover it.  They may or may not come today to do it.

I have PT in a half hour.

The plumber is coming at 11 to figure out why my bathroom floor is making a crackling sound. I m hopeful it is just the wax ring on the toilet leaking, and the plywood under the tile can dry out after it is fixed. The plan to redo the bathroom is not until late next year. 

I have to clean the bathroom before the plumber gets here. Cleaning is the only time I am grateful for such a tiny bathroom. There isn't much to clean so it doesn't take long. 

What a morning so far! Byyyyeeeeeeeee!

 We had a bunch of snow the last few days, and I cannot tell you how much it has felt like a relief. I have been complaining for ages that I have been wearing the same style of clothes for over a year -- capris, t-shirt, and sandals. I moved down to Florida in mid-November (and it wasn't very cold in Chicago when I left) where it was hot and sunny every goddamn day, and then I came back in late March where spring warmth had already begun. The hot summer here lingered through late October. So two days ago, when we got snow, it was a genuine change after all of this time. To look out and see my garden and backyard white and cold, I just loved it. 

It's yet another moment to nudge me forward again. To be around real seasons means I am truly back in my regular life. It's another step away from my Florida time, and all that that entailed. I missed that regularity, seeing time march on visually in nature. I am ready for more of that, for sure.

But first I have to get that new roof done. Luckily this snow is quickly melting, and we are expected to be in the 40-50s again for a few more weeks. So it should get done. 

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My plan of daily cleaning is going well. Well, it is in terms of the house being fairly clean all the time. It is not going well in terms of my feeling like I am constantly cleaning every goddamn day. Because every day I am goddamn cleaning something. Maybe it wouldn't bother me so much if I wasn't the only person in the house cleaning, but I am. Every day I do dishes 3-4 times, and then I find a bowl he left somewhere random. I do laundry at least twice a week, and then I spend the days between moving the basket of folded laundry from the floor to his side of the bed over and over until he finally puts his clean folded clothes away. 

I know this is the deal we made when we decided that I would quit my job and stay home and he would financially support us with his very draining job with lots of long hours of work. But dammit now I understand why housewives were seething messes in the 1950s. It's very easy to get annoyed at little things. 

But also, daily cleaning is annoying as hell, even if it was just my stuff. Today is cleaning the floors, making dog food, and yes a load of laundry, so I better get going on that. Because most of that work is due to the dogs (SO MUCH HAIR ALL THE TIME), and I can't get too annoyed at their sweet faces and grateful wagging tails. 

Decided on a roofer; he comes this afternoon to meet R and confirm dates to do this. Could go pretty quick (she said, immediately jinxing this possibility).

Got rejected by the insurance for Wegovy. I need to demonstrate I am on a weight-loss program, including a low-calorie diet, activity, and behavioral changes before I can reapply for pre-auth. So I signed up for Weight Watchers this morning. It's the one I know best, and they still have local meetings; in-person always motivates me more than just an app. And it's the last day for a great discount that lasts a year. So that's good news too, and it will keep me committed.

But it wasn't just the insurance denial that prompted my turn-around. This is a really hard week for me; today is the one-year anniversary of the beginning of the end. One year ago today, my mom went for her CT scan (which found the cancer metastasized to her liver) in the morning, and in the afternoon my dad collapsed in pain as his aorta dissected. I still have the voicemail from my mom as she followed his ambulance to the hospital. Kate and I flew down the next morning, and it all went to shit from there.

( cut because I get more maudlin from here )

Things that were broken/in the process of being repaired at my house this week:

1. Toilet
2. Boiler
3. Electrical outlet
4. Washing machine

I call bullshit.

Am also waiting on two more roofing estimates. I was expecting them last Friday, since I met both mid-week last week, but now it's Tuesday and nothing. I liked both of those companies best so I am disappointed they dropped the ball already. I had a 3rd company come out on Friday, and they sent their detailed estimate on Saturday afternoon.

Also bullshit.

I also need to do the last bits of fall gardening before the landscapers come in a few weeks to close out the gardens and lawn for the year. They are hard workers but not great at the detail work so I like to do that first. But I keep putting it off. Maybe this week.

That's my own bullshit. I'll own it.