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When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot in the universe. So what the hell, leap. - Cynthia Heimel

I was so naive, I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. –Johnny Carson

Who am I trying to impress? I know myself too well to believe in my own dignity. I have tripped on perfectly flat ground and choked on my own saliva too many times. -Ursula Vernon

Not only can I not recall my experiences in my previous lives, sometimes I can't even remember what I did yesterday. - Dalai Lama

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. - Buddha

There's nothing new under the sun, but there are new suns. - Octavia Butler

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours to amuse them. - Evelyn Waugh

One day I will write a world-renowned play, known simply as OH CRAP: THE MUSICAL.
Just wait until the opening number: "If Only I Weren't a Dumbass". - memlu

Quoth the raven, 'Turn down for what?'