handmaid | Entries

I'm Vivs and I've used LJ then DW since like...2006? I had a Tumblr but never stopped posting here either so I'm pleasantly surprised to see people coming here. Hi!

I am 30F, a lesbian, Incredibly Tired, and a fandom nerd. I really love music, cats, speculative fiction, video games, and transmedia storytelling/interactive fiction/ARGs. I'm a writer and currently work in a non-writing job (but it involves interpreting rules and regulations and I dig anything that lets me be a granular nerd).

Fandoms include Zero Escape, Nabari no Ou, Metal Gear, Panzer Dragoon, Fire Emblem, Shin Megami Tensei, Ao no Exorcist, Silent Hill, Spirit Hunter, The X-Files, Life Is Strange, random Vita games (mostly otome tbh), Star Trek, The 100, etc. As I put it, "I'm a scifi serial and a video game."

I'm planning on slowly un-privating fandom related posts and posting some personal stuff publicly. I'm admittedly a private person but if we hit it off I'm happy to have more mutuals.

( private posts may contain: )

"WHERE'S THE FIC/SHITPOSTS THO:"

morphogenesis |

junpeidoll

Update: The Girl and I are now girlfriends!!! We agreed to be so on Saturday, September 23rd, 2023 while waiting for a table at Noodlehead in East Liberty. Our dates last hours. We talk every day, all day. Our upcoming plans include vegetarian brunch and the Moulin Rouge musical, and in February we're going to Punxsutawney for the Groundhog Day celebration.

I'm ecstatic, I like her so much. I feel I can tell her anything about myself and she makes me feel appreciated and safe and like she's excited about me and us! I am so, so excited to see what happens next.

In other news, I started a very good "My career has Arrived" type of job in July. It is awesome, if a bit nerve-wracking.

Life is just going Well.

Gather the Saints (17379 words) by morphogenesis
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Bustafellows (Visual Novel)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Teuta Bridges/Shu Lynn O'Keefe
Characters: Teuta Bridges, Shu Lynn O'Keefe, Scarecrow | Crow Miller, Limbo Fitzgerald, Helvetica Olsted
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - 1920s, Alternate History, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Nobility, Harems, Intersex Omegas, Alternate Universe - No Time Travel, Mpreg
Series: Part 1 of In the Court of Milk and Honey
Summary:

July, 1920. Shu is wrongly accused of attempted regicide, and the only way out of a hanging is to become yet another omega consort for the Duke of Merrick, Teuta Bridges, who wants him to secretly serve as a bodyguard for one of her other, pregnant omegas. It’s just for a couple of months until the kid’s born, and otherwise he’s dead, right? Part One of a series.

Wild As Her (5766 words) by morphogenesis
Chapters: 1/3
Fandom: Bustafellows (Visual Novel)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Teuta Bridges/Scarecrow | Crow Miller
Characters: Teuta Bridges, Scarecrow | Crow Miller
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical, Mail Order Brides, Strangers to Lovers, Marriage of Convenience, Past Teuta Bridges/Adam Krylov, Adam Krylov Was A Good Husband, Romance, Harlequin
Summary:

In the late 1800s, Teuta is the local widowed mercantile owner who desperately needs help to run her store and home, and a way to fend off scavenger suitors in her western hometown. Crow is an outlaw who needs a place to live, and posts a matrimonial advertisement hoping that fleeing to the west will give him all he needs. Both want to hide from their grief. Neither is looking for or expecting love, but it’s what they find.

all that carries us is wrong (895 words) by morphogenesis
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 超科学脱出 | Parascientific Escape (Visual Novels)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Ritsu Kamiji/Tsukiko Nagise
Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Pining, Sibling Incest
Summary:

Ritsu and Tsukiko run away together after the events of the third game. Tsukiko is convinced Ritsu just feels sorry for her. Ritsu disagrees, and tries to prove it to her.

I'm age 30, sober, writing, and renting a house. Still single and not Crazy about my health right now but things could be worse! I love my boss and work is going okay. The cats are of course great and I own four pet mice now too!

Overall I'm just sorta trying to Do Life now, sober and all that. I'm reading a lot and attend a gay book club, on dating apps, trying to fill my time. I am content enough, someday I hope I'll be happy.

I am OK, first off! As of tomorrow, I am two weeks sober and I will be OK and I feel stronger. I am almost done with rehab, I think, and am persisting at my job and I'm moving to a townhome on December 1st.

Mostly right now I am mad because I am in a Bustafellows phase and I must've written 50k worth of fic at this point and I can't get these characters right. They all talk like assholes and I am sick of them!!! I desperately want to post something for this fandom, the perfect is the enemy of the good, etc. but I caaaaaaan't, it has to be riiiiiiight.

The ideas, in various stages of completion:

-- The post-apocalypse Crow/Teuta (mostly) fic, which is a completed first draft but desperately needs editing and is an iddy, gross, darkfic mess and honestly I'm a little embarrassed to let the freak flag fly as hard as this one does. Otherwise known as, "I Don't Really Ship Fixers M/M, But I Will Make An Exception For Trauma Bonds."

-- A novel set in an alternate history 1920s where Teuta is an alpha Duke with a harem of Fixer omegas. Class issues! Gender issues! A lot of pregnancies/babies! This one has it all, including the question, "Is this sex slavery? Probably." And Helvetica in dresses a lot more often. This one is about 1/5 done and it will be Long and I bought a book for research purposes and am learning I like the 1920s.

-- Some weird thing labeled in GDrive as "if prairie fires and mary penner's great grandson had a baby tbh." Basically: In a loose Western setting, Shu becomes indebted to a settlement of female separatists and the matriarch, recognizing him as Teach's son and thus A Good Boy, asks him to bridal kidnap her daughter, Teuta, before she can be married off for real to a Bad Man. Both he and Teuta reluctantly run away together and actually fall in love, the end. An excuse for romance novel-tier porn and happy ending with babies. The Love Comes Softly AU, if you will.

Are they all long as fuck? Obviously. Will I ever write a story set in the game's setting proper? Who knows. Will I return to Jawbreaker, the NG longfic? I hope so.

I Am Frustrated, But Will Persevere: A Story.

your girl just spent two weeks writing a 22k Bustafellows post-apocalypse road trip fanfic for Het Big Bang. Crow/Teuta because who do you think i am. but in my heart of hearts it's a reverse harem fic.

i am so proud of it but now i have to revise it!!!!! fuck!!!!!

Music: "Party Poison" My Chemical Romance

How long am I going to struggle to write Akira/Amanome/Hazuki having a virginal awkward threesome where they're trying so hard and it just isn't working lmfao.

Amanome, being his casual misogynist self: eating pussy is gross i could never
Akira: ok i will
Amanome: NOT THAT

See also: I'm writing a fic that is horribly indulgent about Amanome and Hazuki getting lavender married out of convenience to hide the fact that Amanome is gay/produce an heir for the Family. But of course they can't leave Akira out of it and dubcon him into polyamory. It's about 10k right now and Hazuki isn't even pregnant fkgfjdjfl. I might yammer about their three kids a ton. (Parentified Eldest Child, Resentful "Even Negative Attention Is Good Attention" Middle Child, Hazuki/Kijima Affair Baby Youngest w/ Extreme Self-Esteem Issues.)

Though I did love coming up with everyone's Yakuza tattoos (wives and daughters of Yakuza can get them according to my research even though they can't be Yakuza, Shoko Tendo wouldn't prove me wrong, it's just a matter of personal taste and individuality and I could write an essay on Hazuki's limited agency as a former idol and now Yakuza wife and how she feels about it):

-- Amanome: peonies and snakes to represent iirc wealth and immortality/protection, I thiiiink he has a copy of his father's "carp swimming upstream" tattoo on his right arm to honor dead Taizou
-- Akira: Momotarou fighting oni (for the NG Days)
-- Hazuki: Benten, patron of the arts and a fortune goddess, using her music to tame the dragon that becomes her husband, serpents trailing down her thighs

BASICALLY AM I GARBAGE, PERHAPS, BUT I AM HAPPY.

I'm alive, I'm okay. The shortlist of stuff going on:

-- Okay yes I may have adopted two, count 'em two, cats since I moved here. Harley, a tortoiseshell who's shy with everyone except me and the most loving girl in her own way (she lovebites constantly sob), and Sigma, a black-and-white chubby boy who is a dog in a cat's body (ADORES humans, hates to be away from them, loves food, loves climbing on my fucking stove and cries when I shower????). If you count 'Harley' as a reference to Tenmyouji's biker speech from VLR, both of them are Zero Escape kitties. Harley is still trying to figure out if she likes Sigma and this consists mostly of trying to play with him only to hiss and swat if he dares play back with her.

-- I started dating already and that is going well? I'm having fun and meeting nice girls. Nothing serious yet. In hindsight my last relationship should've ended two years ago so I'm not broken up about it ending at all. My ex wasn't a bad person, just wrong for me and I think I for her. We are no longer in contact.

-- I got dumped by a close friend and for a long time it really fucked me up. It does still hurt but it hurts less every day. I cherish the memories, good and bad.

-- I've reconciled with my younger brother and we're talking again. Love is had. Don't give up on people you care about.

-- Work is a shitshow where I'm well-liked so there's that. I appreciate the huge opportunity I've been given to be an official property manager and handle a full lease-up but, like, goddamn this is stressful.

-- I'm an aunt for the fourth time! My older brother had his first kid and he is adorable.

-- Got back on all my meds and am doing much better mentally, I think.

-- I am not writing much, just too busy with work and trying to get a social life here off the ground. I've been picked on and off at my Fandom 5k fic and an NG fic where Amanome/Hazuki have a lavender marriage and both bang Akira on the regular. Mostly it's an excuse for yakuza power trio and sickass tats and porn.

-- Overall, I would say I am doing better than I have been in years.

I'm single now. I broke up with Bre after several non-scandalous personal realizations. It was for the best. Just wanted to update on that part of my life.

Three Bedroom House (8191 words) by morphogenesis
Chapters: 2/5
Fandom: Zero Escape (Video Games), Nabari no Ou, NG (Visual Novel)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Carlos/Kurashiki Akane, Meguro Gau/Shimizu Raikou, Kijima Akira & Amanome Seiji & Hazuki Kaoru
Characters: Kurashiki Akane | June, Carlos (Zero Escape), Shimizu Raikou, Meguro Gau, Kijima Akira, Amanome Seiji, Hazuki Kaoru, Original Characters, Tenmyouji Junpei, Phi (Zero Escape)
Additional Tags: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Temporary Amnesia, Psychological Trauma, Lotus Eater Machine, Mind Control, Reality Bending, Kid Fic, My motives are complex, Background Junepei
Summary:

For a long time they have lived on this island, a place of peace and plenty. Their lack of memories and connection bothering them only occasionally. Until one day a satellite falls to earth, and everything else in their peaceful island lives unravels.

[Tomodachi Life AU]

L and I are TERMINALLY unable to take anything seriously, so we're working on this dumbass crossover. Not tagged: Panzer Dragoon, Ao no Exorcist, Persona 2, Life Is Strange, and Star Trek TOS. No I am not returning to ZE permanently.

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[INTRO] NOW SEMI-PUBLIC
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three fics I've posted so far this year:
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"this ain't your party / get off the dance floor"
"all these bitches call me Senpai"
"i'm still young wastin' my youth"
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[INTRO] NOW SEMI-PUBLIC

no subject

three fics I've posted so far this year:

no subject

no subject

"this ain't your party / get off the dance floor"

"all these bitches call me Senpai"

"i'm still young wastin' my youth"

no subject

no subject

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