Title: Graduate Vulcan for Fun and Profit
Author:
lazulisong
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Warnings(author's): Vulcan OC Dude (I don't think he's too obnoxious, though), Jim's Awesome Childhood
Summary: It really does take a village to raise a Jim.
Commentary: This fic makes me want to run away and become a linguist. All the language stuff is perfect, and the characters' voices are wonderful and hilarious. It's a very touching fic in all kinds of ways, but mostly the one in which Jim is a terrible wonderful secret grad student. (No, really.)
I've read this story about five times, and now I'm reading it again. It's awesome even if you're only peripherally familiar with Star Trek (as I am). To prove it, here's an early excerpt (I think there might be some better ones later, but if I just go ahead and do this one I won't have to spend an hour trying to decide between them):
"Frankly speaking, sir, if Starfleet knew I could speak Vulcan --"
"And Klingon, and Tellarite, and Andorian," murmurs Sakel gently. Bastard. Klingon totally doesn't count, because all Jim can do is start a bar fight in it. Not that starting a bar fight in Klingon is very difficult. It's like basic Standard. Excuse me, where is the rest room? Excuse me, your father sucks dick on discount bulk rates. Nearly the same thing.
"If they knew," finishes Jim loudly, "I'd be put in Communications and I'm going to be in Command."
Sakel takes another sip of his tea, and thinks. "Your logic stands," he says finally. "Although it should be acknowledged that being in Communications will not logically preclude you from being a captain. Very well, Cadet, I will, as they say, 'strike a deal'."
Jim tries not to tense up, but deep in his monkey hind brain he knows that he's not going to like this 'deal' and that the alternative is going to be deeply unpleasant.
"I will allow you to stay in Basic Principles of Vulcan, and I will even teach you to simulate a Terran accent --" this was a huge favor, Jim knows, because Sakel hates Terran accents with as much venom as any vegan pacifist could hate anything, "-- and in return, you will agree to do all the work assigned, as assigned."
"And if I don't?" says Jim, deeply wary.
"Then I will go to the department head and tell them, I believe the term is, 'a touching story' about the bond among us all, the last of the Kelvin crew, and your language sets." Sakel doesn't even have the grace to look smug about cornering Jim like this.
NO SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS THIS IS LIKE THE BEST FIC EVER, GO READ IT.ESPECIALLY YOU,
inner_v0ice .
Author:
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Warnings(author's): Vulcan OC Dude (I don't think he's too obnoxious, though), Jim's Awesome Childhood
Summary: It really does take a village to raise a Jim.
Commentary: This fic makes me want to run away and become a linguist. All the language stuff is perfect, and the characters' voices are wonderful and hilarious. It's a very touching fic in all kinds of ways, but mostly the one in which Jim is a terrible wonderful secret grad student. (No, really.)
I've read this story about five times, and now I'm reading it again. It's awesome even if you're only peripherally familiar with Star Trek (as I am). To prove it, here's an early excerpt (I think there might be some better ones later, but if I just go ahead and do this one I won't have to spend an hour trying to decide between them):
"Frankly speaking, sir, if Starfleet knew I could speak Vulcan --"
"And Klingon, and Tellarite, and Andorian," murmurs Sakel gently. Bastard. Klingon totally doesn't count, because all Jim can do is start a bar fight in it. Not that starting a bar fight in Klingon is very difficult. It's like basic Standard. Excuse me, where is the rest room? Excuse me, your father sucks dick on discount bulk rates. Nearly the same thing.
"If they knew," finishes Jim loudly, "I'd be put in Communications and I'm going to be in Command."
Sakel takes another sip of his tea, and thinks. "Your logic stands," he says finally. "Although it should be acknowledged that being in Communications will not logically preclude you from being a captain. Very well, Cadet, I will, as they say, 'strike a deal'."
Jim tries not to tense up, but deep in his monkey hind brain he knows that he's not going to like this 'deal' and that the alternative is going to be deeply unpleasant.
"I will allow you to stay in Basic Principles of Vulcan, and I will even teach you to simulate a Terran accent --" this was a huge favor, Jim knows, because Sakel hates Terran accents with as much venom as any vegan pacifist could hate anything, "-- and in return, you will agree to do all the work assigned, as assigned."
"And if I don't?" says Jim, deeply wary.
"Then I will go to the department head and tell them, I believe the term is, 'a touching story' about the bond among us all, the last of the Kelvin crew, and your language sets." Sakel doesn't even have the grace to look smug about cornering Jim like this.
NO SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS THIS IS LIKE THE BEST FIC EVER, GO READ IT.