Thomas Raith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
emptynight) wrote2009-09-25 03:03 pm
emptynight) wrote2009-09-25 03:03 pm
Entry tags:
Roadtrip of Denial: I've prepared a lecture on why I have to leave
On the back of a motorcycle pushing 120 mph, Thomas ran. Ran through winding roads in pine scented woods, through roads on the coast with salt in the air, down asphalt ribbons that cut straight through the city. Thomas ran with fear in his heart, and the scream of Hunger in his veins. He ran until daybreak, until the road led him back to the house.
Sunlight wrapped the house in silence, and only then did he dare come back, enter the house on silent feet, up the stairs and into his room. With quiet efficiency, Thomas grabbed a duffel bag and threw in a few sets of clothes, the kukri he kept beside the bed, the cavalry saber, the shotgun, the long-bladed knife. Dru’s gift, Maladicta’s gift, those he left under the bed. Thomas left the fine grey suit in a puddle on the floor, and threw on jeans, a shirt, and the leather jacket. The Desert Eagle, with extra loaded clips in his pockets, went into his waistband, hidden by the jacket.
His camera crew stood quiet, uncertain, as he rushed around the room in silence. This wouldn’t have been the first time Thomas left abruptly and armed to the teeth. But they had seen. They had heard something in the night, and now they stood, unsure whether to let him go and risk Her, or to block his path and risk him. Unfortunately for them, before they had formulated the question, Thomas was no longer in the room.
The sun was bright in the morning sky when Thomas threw the duffel bag over one shoulder and started the motorcycle again. Without looking back, Thomas raced away from the house.
*****
Thomas drove with single-minded purpose for hours, stopping only twice for gas, as he strove to get away. Away from Her, away from what had almost happened. It wasn’t until the sun was low in the sky that he noticed a sign beside the freeway. “Los Angeles, 103 miles.”
The motorcycle screamed to a stop on the side of the road and Thomas’ hands shook a little as they released their grip on the handlebars and reached for his cell phone. He hit Alice’s number and waited.
“I’m an hour outside Los Angeles.”
Sunlight wrapped the house in silence, and only then did he dare come back, enter the house on silent feet, up the stairs and into his room. With quiet efficiency, Thomas grabbed a duffel bag and threw in a few sets of clothes, the kukri he kept beside the bed, the cavalry saber, the shotgun, the long-bladed knife. Dru’s gift, Maladicta’s gift, those he left under the bed. Thomas left the fine grey suit in a puddle on the floor, and threw on jeans, a shirt, and the leather jacket. The Desert Eagle, with extra loaded clips in his pockets, went into his waistband, hidden by the jacket.
His camera crew stood quiet, uncertain, as he rushed around the room in silence. This wouldn’t have been the first time Thomas left abruptly and armed to the teeth. But they had seen. They had heard something in the night, and now they stood, unsure whether to let him go and risk Her, or to block his path and risk him. Unfortunately for them, before they had formulated the question, Thomas was no longer in the room.
The sun was bright in the morning sky when Thomas threw the duffel bag over one shoulder and started the motorcycle again. Without looking back, Thomas raced away from the house.
*****
Thomas drove with single-minded purpose for hours, stopping only twice for gas, as he strove to get away. Away from Her, away from what had almost happened. It wasn’t until the sun was low in the sky that he noticed a sign beside the freeway. “Los Angeles, 103 miles.”
The motorcycle screamed to a stop on the side of the road and Thomas’ hands shook a little as they released their grip on the handlebars and reached for his cell phone. He hit Alice’s number and waited.
“I’m an hour outside Los Angeles.”
no subject
So Thomas' phone call wasn't really unexpected, but it still gave her chills. His voice at the beach had been bad, but this was really bad. And not knowing why was making her crazier than she wanted to admit. So obviously she was going to flank herself with empaths. Go, Alice.
"Well that's pretty convenient cause it means we're an hour outside you," she said, just as sprightly as she always sounded. This was what Jasper hands were for. "Are you ok Thomas because you don't sound totally ok and I mean obviously you're mobile, but you know-" Jasper gave her That Look that meant he was doing his thing. Which was appreciated.
"We're at the Mondrian if you want to come meet us- or just me if you want, that's ok too-" This pretending everything was normally when it obviously wasn't thing was stupid. It may have been two weeks for her but it had only been a night for him and he'd been pretty clear about his criteria for leaving. "Thomas, what happened?"
no subject
A sleek little convertible roared past him, the scent of the young blonde driver's perfume carried on the wind. Brazen. Young. Spending money and sleeping with bad boys just to piss Daddy off. Every dark impulse within him wanted to reach for it, to kick the bike back into gear and chase down the little doe. Thomas forced himself to stillness, focusing on the voice on the other end of the phone. "Things didn't work out like I planned. And I... I shouldn't see you alone."
Things he wanted to say were tumbling over each other, and Thomas took a deep breath. Smelled nothing but asphalt and soot, burned rubber and the faint scent of pine. Certainly not some nubile young thing's perfume on the wind. The hand hidden in his pocket curled into a fist, fingernails digging into flesh. When he spoke again, he still didn't sound like himself, but at least he spoke deliberately. "I just wanted to let you know that I'd taken off is all."
no subject
"You'd think I of all people would know that things never work out the way we plan but you know I'm still completely optimistic whenever I can be, it's good for your complexion I heard, but listen you don't have to come here, and anyway I'm not alone. We can come get you, make sure you're good, yeah? Cause you don't sound quite miserable enough yet." Keep him on the phone as long as possible. Let Jasper kick in his magic whenever it hurt too much. Maintain a tone somewhere between 'you're obviously a wounded animal' and 'everything's totally normal!'. Aside from flying blind, it wasn't a whole lot different from the ledge-talking she'd spent plenty of time already doing.
"Just pick a place and we'll be there cause I have a bodyguard and if you think Edward can throw a punch, just, be reasonable ok? I mean I think we can take care of ourselves." Offended probably sounded better than worried. Couldn't hurt to try, anyway.
no subject
Another long, slow breath. Pine. Asphalt. Soot. Gasoline. Nothing more. "You're a gem, Alice." He slid forward on the bike, started it again, the low rumble familiar and steadying. "I'm going to stop off somewhere and get something to eat. I'll call you once I'm all presentable again?"
no subject
"You know you don't have to be presentable, I mean sure I always look totally fantastic but it's not like I expect everyone to live up to my standards, and anyway do you even know where-" Click. Damnit, why did phones even click anymore, was there still some mechanism somewhere that like made a clicking sound, and Alice wanted to throw the phone through the window except it had pretty vital information on it.
Then there was a Jasper making calming sounds and holding car keys, wrapping arms around her and basically telling her to chill out before she gave herself a migraine. Helpful advice even if he didn't actually say it out loud. "You know I don't even know what he means by long day cause it's not like I have any idea what day it is to him."
"Guess we go find out." Jasper had this way of stating the obvious that was actually totally comforting instead of annoying. She breathed.
"Yeah, ok, just gimme a minute to get changed."
"How come?" He was in dark pants and a brown button-down shirt, and it would just have to do.
"Because I don't know where the hell he's going and I don't know how long it's going to take and you know he's totally going to make up for that because now I have to wear jeans."
no subject
"What do you want, kid?" the bartender asked, eyeing Thomas with skepticism as he slid onto one of the bar stools.
Thomas couldn't help smiling faintly as he slid over his driver's license. The guy was going to think it was fake, no doubt, but would serve him anyway. "Cheeseburger and fries. And that bottle of tequ-- that bottle of 151."
The bartender frowned, a flicker of recognition in his eyes as he looked over the ID. "Sure thing, kid. Want ice or lime?" When Thomas shook his head, he just handed over the bottle of liquor and a shot glass. "The burger'll be out in a few."
The only response the man got was the clink of glass and the splash of liquor. Thomas had taken three shots before the bartender even left.
no subject
And if he didn't look at least 75% dead when they found him he was so going to pay for that, too. Casting a net that wide for someone who was being blocked the way they all were was frigging painful.
"Don't even say it Jasper, don't even say it, I'll holler all I like if I feel like hollering and you better not try to make me feel like anything else once I get in there, I swear to god between the two of you I can already tell it's going to reach 9 point annoying on the Richter scale before I even have the chance to lose it and bail. Just, come on." She was through the bar door before he could even get out of the car.
"Thomas?" Maybe 65% dead. Mostly just drunk, but that had its own problems and anyway caution was the word of the day. She hopped onto the stool next to him without waiting for an answer. "I'm sure there's a totally magical explanation for why getting drunk was like a thing you had to do immediately but you know, healing not so much."
no subject
From the looks of the man, that was the best that could be said about him right now.
It wasn't the first time he'd been on an Alice rescue mission and it sure wouldn't be the last, except usually they were there first. But Jasper knew his role. Be quiet and tall, look neutral, stay calm. Until circumstances warranted something else.
Might be sooner than usual too, Jasper thought. The big, burly biker sitting on the other side of Thomas was even more interested in the man than he looked, and he was already staring and licking his lips. Felt pretty close to making a move, too. Only long practice kept Jasper straight-faced, but it was a close call.
no subject
He reached for the bottle again with a shaking hand, and the burly biker, Brendan, intercepted it. "No use wasting it, kid," he said, his voice almost comically soft. "Let me pour that."
Thomas was just about to respond, another repetition of 'Go away you lonely horny bastard,' when a a familiar feminine voice cut through the haze of alcohol, radiating worry like sandpaper against his skin. "What are you doing here, Alice? I didn't call you." he muttered, voice surprisingly clear given how strongly he smelled of rum.
He blinked slowly, taking in the sight of her and the tall quiet man that shadowed her in. "Oh good. You brought backup." Her question caught up with him a moment later and Thomas blinked again, running a hand through his hair. "I came to eat."
"Oh, are these your friends?" the biker asked, turning besotted eyes to Alice and Jasper even as he slid the full shot glass into Thomas' hands. "Is that your name? Thomas?"
Thomas gave Alice the best glare he could manage, which was not much of one given he gave it to some imaginary person about three feet to Alice's left. "Now you've gone and told him my name."
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
They were quiet for most of the trip back, except for when Alice went over the conversation in her head and tripped on the almost killing someone part. Whoever Gr-something was, she was way more worried about Thomas than anything else. Whatever drove him that far and made him run that fast - where the hell were they twelve hours from, that didn't even make any sense - she gritted her teeth for whole new reasons, and that made Jasper take her hand and squeeze it. She'd told him this wasn't going to be easy. He probably mostly knew she meant for her, not him.
They dropped the car with the valet, the bike too which kind of surprised Alice and she still wasn't ok with this whole 'surprise' thing really. It had gotten way better, but having Thomas there threw bold new Spring line-themed shrouds over everything. It wasn't going a long way to making her less anything, but just like she'd told Thomas, Jasper helped. Jasper always helped.
By the time they got up to the room (http://pics.livejournal.com/manicpixydream/pic/0000fb37), she had a new plan. Information for information, at least once he didn't look ready to eat the couch, and so maybe she didn't have a lot to bargain with there but she had some.
"So you almost killed someone, huh. Been awhile since I did that, feels pretty shit I guess. You want a menu?" She waved the room service list at her while Jasper sighed a familiar sigh.
no subject
He didn't need food right now, but the menu gave him something to look at. So he kept his eyes on it instead of looking at either Alice or Jasper as he sank into a chair. "Yeah. Last night, however long ago that was. Young. A dancer. Pretty little thing."
Thomas could hear the longing and hunger for her in his own voice and he pushed the menu away, suddenly sickened. It occurred to him that he could ask Alice, for just enough of a sip to feed the Hunger, to keep from feeling so achingly hollow, but he pushed that away as quickly as it had come. "So how did the two of you end up being so close to LA?" A hope flared. "Did you see me coming? Are you not blocked anymore?"
no subject
"Sadly no, you just have my total lack of willingness to accept failure to thank for that, which is totally unappreciated cause some people just call it stubborn." Alice lounged on the couch opposite, barely taking up half of it. "I can cast a pretty wide net when I have to, and well, I've been seeing people talking about you for awhile now, just you know, that famous guy from that vampire show. Helped when they said your name but I'm just that good, or at least, that's how this whole horse-blinders thing seems to work for now." No use telling him she was blanking on everyone he was in a room with, not until she had to.
"Anyway it was almost always LA and it got stronger so, you know, we relocated, we do that a lot when we're traveling anyway. A dancer, huh? And you just went bugfuck for no reason, or was there some sort of like, house-wide strike on feeding Thomas? Speaking of which are you sure you don't want anything cause there fully is pizza and burgers and steak and caviar and whatever on there, and probably off-menu stuff, like for example me if you're after the real thing." She quirked her head like she'd asked him about the weather and if she could get him a coffee. Jasper glanced up from his screen looking all inscrutable, and for once, he actually was.
no subject
Alice's offer, made lightly but sincerely, made Thomas wince, again. Some part of him whispered that he should take her up on it, she was willing, so why not. That voice was louder than he would have liked to admit, so instead Thomas focused on the question. Maybe if she understood what had happened she would think twice about offering. He had a sneaking suspicion it would do no such thing, but hope sprung eternal.
"It was just a bad night all around," Thomas answered, introspective as he tried to run through the events that had led up to Grace. "It started off sort of hilarious. High fashion shoots and stuff. Should probably TiVo that if you have a chance." Thomas ran a hand through his hair, staring off into space. "Long story short, Lestat tried to jump your brother because of some weird... disease thing, or something. It triggered weirdness up here." He made a vague gesture at his temple and shook his head.
"It was just a bad night. For Edward too, I think. He started doing that weird thing. And one thing leads to another and next thing I know, I get slapped and some girl's nearly dead." Shaking his head, Thomas didn't bother hiding the predatory hunger in his eyes as he shot Alice a sharp smile. "I know you can take care of yourself, but you should probably rescind that offer, you know. I'm a little worse off than last time."
The memory of the last time he'd seen Alice in the hotel room rose up sharp and clear in Thomas' mind and he forced himself to breathe. Faint stale smoke. Bathroom cleanser. Focus on everything besides Alice, smelling worried and angry and willing just out of arm's reach. He forced a little smile. "Congratulations, you're getting brutal honesty Thomas today. What else do you want to know? Favourite colour? Favourite pizza topping?"
Thomas ignored the little voice again, the one that was whispering that he could make the pain go away with just a few kisses. Just enough to soothe the ache, and she had offered.
no subject
"So what I'm hearing is, it was bad, and weird, and then bad and weird some more, but I'm not hearing-" There was no really tactful way to put this. "I'm not hearing 'then Dru went all tri-headed on me and I had to run or get turned to mental goo', which don't get me wrong I'm not rooting for, but I was sort of expecting her name to come up, yeah?" If she was going to get brutal honesty, she might as well go for it.
"And while we're at it you gotta explain a few things to me, like how you think it's gonna get better if you don't feed, and why you think it's like so much worse that you can hurt me, look at my eyes Thomas, and hey, why you haven't had the brainwave that maybe Jasper could you know, help your stupid ass? You're not the only game in town right now." It was weird mixing tough with love when you couldn't actually see what was going to go down as a result, but Alice thought she was getting the hang of it. She didn't ask about Edward, because you didn't have to be psychic to see there were no answers there, and besides, she'd find out for herself soon enough.
"And you could tell me what the big deal about pepperoni is if you feel like it."
no subject
Rubbing at the bridge of his nose, Thomas shook his head and attempted a smile. "Pepperoni's greasy and bad for you and tastes good. Sort of like bacon. I like sausage better anyway." If he had been thinking even halfway straight, the comment would have been accompanied by a smirk.
Alice's suggestion about Jasper took Thomas aback and he stared at her for a moment, the possibility playing in his head, the memory of the scrambling biker. Could it work? If nothing else, Jasper could break it up if things got too heated and Alice didn't want to (which was a distinct possibility, given how even the biker he didn't want had been reacting to his presence). Just a little. Just a sip.
"That time at the hotel? I was already well-fed and look what happened," he pointed out. "This time I didn't even like the biker and he was drooling at me. Besides, don't you think it's a little awkward to be all 'Hey Jasper we just met but you think you can help me sleep with your wife but don't let her get too into it?'"
no subject
"Thomas, you ever wonder what it's like being married to Alice sixty years? We got past awkward sometime around '52. Just isn't room for it. Don't think I'd still be here if things were different." He grinned and shook his head at Alice, little trails of light inside her, unable to help being just a bit pleased she could maybe out-shame the incubus.
"I know what you are. Even if she hadn't told me, I can see it all through you. And right now you're hurt, so now's not the time to worry about social graces." He sat on the edge of the chair opposite Thomas, still smiling, but keeping a good clamp on his control. "Besides, the stuff you're putting off, don't see as you have much of a choice."
no subject
"Thomas." Alice put on her most determined face, which was pretty determined she thought. "If you're down to 'I don't think your husband would be cool with that' you're kind of running thin on objections, yeah? I know what happened last time, I know it's different, I know you think you can hurt me but hi, I punch trucks!"
"She does. When she's mad."
"Shut up Jasper, my point is I really don't think you're gonna get all life-drainy on me, but if you're seriously gonna be that uptight about it, you've got someone watching more than just your corporeal form or whatever, yeah?"
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
As per her instructions, Thomas grabbed the phone and placed an order with the hotel kitchen: steak, baked potato, and an ice cream sundae with whipped cream, just to tease Alice. "If you were naked, there'd be very little walking around and you know it, Alice," he answered. The other part of Alice's question went unanswered. He'd already answered it, and it wasn't something he wanted to think about right now, not when he'd just repressed it.
"No plans," he confirmed, sitting back down in the chair he'd taken earlier. "I left in a hurry, and I don't think I should be heading back to Chicago." Just yet. Ever. "If you don't mind the company, I'd appreciate it."
no subject
"There's another room down the hall," he pointed, ignoring the indignant pixie in his lap. "We hoped you'd be amenable to visiting awhile, rest up after your stay at the madhouse. I'll be heading out to meet with some friends, but not for a few days. Want to make sure you're on your feet before I leave you alone with this." Alice finally wrestled free of him and snatched her shirt, swatting Thomas for good measure before she slipped into the bathroom with a rude gesture. Jasper chuckled.
"And I wanted to extend my hospitality in appreciation for all you've done. I've heard good things about you. I'm glad to see that they're all true."
no subject
The other man's words did surprise him. "You're leaving Alice with me? I mean, me with Alice?" Taking a moment to think on his words, Thomas wasn't quite sure which was worse. And for whose well-being. Instead he shook his head, swatting Alice back ineffectually, and sank back into the chair.
"Anything you've heard is over-exaggerated," he said dismissively. "It's easy to get fooled by a pretty face. Most everyone is." There was a knock on the door, coupled with a voice declaring room service, and Thomas answered it, wheeling in the tray.
Settling back into his seat with food in front of him, Thomas nodded towards the bathroom door and out of common courtesy lowered his voice, though he was perfectly aware that Alice would hear them, and probably rant about it when she came back. "She's still blocked? Has it gotten any worse?"
no subject
Fact was, even if it was ten times worse around Thomas, he'd just borne witness to the fact that the incubus could make it all go away. She'd need that in the lead up, at least. If she didn't change her mind.
"She told me you'd try the pretty face speech first. Polite thing to do would've been to tell you it wouldn't work on me. Don't know how much you know about that from her, or Edward. Some folks come in knowing my birthday before my name." His smile was relaxed, but curious. It was good to hear what needed explaining before you explained it.
A fundamental difference in Alice and Jasper's philosophies.
no subject
Thomas shrugged as he swallowed a bite of steak and another of baked potato. "It's reflex." His tone was easy, vastly different from when he'd been too hungry to think straight. "And I don't know anything besides the fact that you're crazy enough to marry Alice, more than once, I suspect. And that you know exactly the type of headache Edward can be." There was no twinge of guilt at the mention of Edward's name and Thomas thought it a good sign. Maybe he'd figured out how to stop caring too much.
Well, and Thomas had his own guesses, based on Alice being, well, Alice, and things like that ring. But he played things close to the chest. Always had. Always will, even if people kept insisting on worming their way in.
"And apparently you two don't mind sharing."
no subject
"The key word bein' 'exactly'." He smiled. Edward's... nature had never been a source of pain, but it wasn't always fun. "I won't bore you with speeches about our kind, but some of us get turned with extras, like Alice's sight. Mine's- well, it's a little more complicated. Something like what you can do, 'cept I don't feed from it, and not near as strong. But I've heard enough about you, seen you enough. Now you're here in person, I can see it for myself." His look turned speculative.
"Alice isn't always the easiest for those of us who have scars and hungers we don't like showing off, but I expect I'm worse, in a way. Still. I see what I see." And if the man wanted to talk about it more than that, then that was his business. Or Alice's, more than likely. The affable smile returned.
no subject
"She's good, Alice," Thomas said, pushing the tray away from him just slightly. "Can I tell her to stop hiding in the bathroom now that she's given us male bonding time?"
no subject
"You know you look about eight thousand times better than you did when we found you and you're still half dead, did you even pack any clothes? I know you sleep and there's only a whole room for you to do just that thing right over there." She pointed to Thomas' room without even a hint of suggestion that anything else might happen in any bed, anywhere. "If you really were on that bike for twelve hours then I kinda think it's time for you to crash, yeah?"
(no subject)