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catnessI wonder if there's some truth behind the theory that if you hate something, it means that you secretly want it.
Definitely not in every case. For example, I hate animal abuse (at least, abuse for fun, unrelated to the usage of animals in industry and food production), and there's no way I'd secretly enjoy it. (Humans abuse is a different matter... but not animals.)
But there's a lot of less extreme situations... for example, I hate to see a customer engaging in a casual conversation with a cashier, post office teller, waiter or any other worker who's supposed to service them. And it's not only because they hold up the line, so I have to wait longer to get the service; I get equally annoyed when seeing this behavior in the movies. Maybe it triggers my OCD when people behave out of context: a customer-server relationship does not involve the exchange of information unrelated to the issue. Maybe I see it as inferior, uncivilized behavior dating back from the pre-industrial society where people couldn't afford privacy and specialization.
Or maybe I'm simply envious of people who have a talent to communicate with other people, even strangers, while I'm unable to do it myself. I'd die of embarrassment/anxiety if I had to start an informal conversation out of context. If I'm scared, it means that it's my weakness. If it's a weakness, it means that the opposite quality is desirable.
I can maintain the conversation if the other person starts it; sometimes it happens, for example, in our post office, I know the tellers for years, and apparently they remember the regular customers. But it always leaves me exhausted and uncomfortable in the end. On my own, I've managed to learn to volunteer "have a nice day". It takes a bit of effort, but it's less scary because it's said in the end of the interaction, and I immediately leave and do not have to continue talking.
I don't really want to be a chatty bitch... I still see this behavior as annoying, I just want to know that I could do it myself without feeling any discomfort. (It's like with the Internet... I can actually stay for hours without using it, but I need to know that I could go online any time.)
Definitely not in every case. For example, I hate animal abuse (at least, abuse for fun, unrelated to the usage of animals in industry and food production), and there's no way I'd secretly enjoy it. (Humans abuse is a different matter... but not animals.)
But there's a lot of less extreme situations... for example, I hate to see a customer engaging in a casual conversation with a cashier, post office teller, waiter or any other worker who's supposed to service them. And it's not only because they hold up the line, so I have to wait longer to get the service; I get equally annoyed when seeing this behavior in the movies. Maybe it triggers my OCD when people behave out of context: a customer-server relationship does not involve the exchange of information unrelated to the issue. Maybe I see it as inferior, uncivilized behavior dating back from the pre-industrial society where people couldn't afford privacy and specialization.
Or maybe I'm simply envious of people who have a talent to communicate with other people, even strangers, while I'm unable to do it myself. I'd die of embarrassment/anxiety if I had to start an informal conversation out of context. If I'm scared, it means that it's my weakness. If it's a weakness, it means that the opposite quality is desirable.
I can maintain the conversation if the other person starts it; sometimes it happens, for example, in our post office, I know the tellers for years, and apparently they remember the regular customers. But it always leaves me exhausted and uncomfortable in the end. On my own, I've managed to learn to volunteer "have a nice day". It takes a bit of effort, but it's less scary because it's said in the end of the interaction, and I immediately leave and do not have to continue talking.
I don't really want to be a chatty bitch... I still see this behavior as annoying, I just want to know that I could do it myself without feeling any discomfort. (It's like with the Internet... I can actually stay for hours without using it, but I need to know that I could go online any time.)
