adventures in solitude.

hello, friends.

chicago is snowy as all get-out. i will probably be sick of it by tomorrow, when it's all grey and slushy and getting my pants all wet. or in like two hours when i have to spend fifteen minutes cleaning the snow off of my car. but right now, it is just the prettiest thing to see out the window. in celebration of chicago's first snowfall of 2010, i recorded a cover of "white winter hymnal" by fleet foxes. you might have seen it on facebook, but if not, and here you go: white winter hymnal!

this is my first recording in a looooooong time. i have 803185983 other things on my to-do list that rank so much higher than this, but singing this song made me happy, so there you go. :o)

today, i was teaching a reading class, and we played a game called Word Sleuth. it is a very basic game in which i think of words that are part of whatever word family we're working on [right now, it's the -an family] and they have to guess the word, and then figure out what letter to add to the family to make that word.

for example: i'm thinking of a word that ends in -an, that describes something that blows cool air. it has blades that spin. it might be attached to the ceiling, or it might sit on a desk or a table. [answer, obvs: fan.]

so, we do a couple of these, and then it's lucas' turn.

me: lucas, i'm thinking of a word that ends in -an that describes what you will be when you grow up...like, mckenzie is a girl, so when she grows up, she'll be a woman. but you're a boy, so when *you* grow up, you'll be a....?

lucas: ...a janitor!

once i stop laughing long enough to speak again, i give him half a point, since 'janitor' *does* actually include the -an family, but it was not quite what i was looking for. he did guess 'man' eventually. :o)

1. my favorite boss was away on and off for a few weeks, helping out at another center while their director was on maternity leave. one day, i decided to send her a fax. from herself. from the future. just like jim and dwight. she got the joke, but apparently only after five minutes of looking around, bewildered, and accusing other people over at the other center. :o)

2. yesterday i had a family photo shoot with my pal, chase, who is 4. he recently started pre-k at a catholic school, and i guess they are learning a bunch of religious songs. chase sang a couple of them for me, and it was so, so funny. my favorites? "when the sinks go marching in" and THE BEST, "our god is an awesome guy". hahahahaha. right on, god. oh, except that chase also told us that god makes it rain when people or animals are bad. wtf?

3. south-jersey/philly foods i ate while home for my brother's wedding:

* 2 cheeseburgers with everything & fries from jim's lunch in millville [i did this, like, IMMEDIATELY. might be my overall favorite food.].
* italian sub from wawa.
* gelati from rita's water ice [green apple/vanilla custard]. SO GOOD.
* amazing cheesesteaks. in fact, the morning of the wedding, we snacked on leftover cheesesteaks while waiting to get our hair done. because we are classy ladies.
* fresh-baked philly soft pretzels.
* tastykake peanut butter kandykakes.

GOOD JOB, SELF. ALSO, I MISS YOU, EAST COAST FOOD.

4. heyrhiannon came to visit me a few weeks ago. it was our first meeting, after...like 8 years of being internet pals. it was a pretty perfect weekend, despite the rain. we saw the 3-d toy story double feature in the theatre. we shopped in lincoln park. we got facemasks from lush and glopped them on while watching thursday night tv. we spent an entire day watching 30rock while she taught me to knit. i took pictures for grammardog's new nephew while we were out on our adventures. we visited goebbert's farm, where we took a picture with a tiny white tiger cub [which i REALLY need to scan]. i mean, come on, you guys, does it get any better? nope, it doesn't.

i made and then took apart most of a hat:



also, at the farm, we met the fuzziest calf in the whole world, and we died with the cuteness:



5. i was a bridesmaid. i looked like this:



i am extra-fat right now, which is infuriating and depressing, but i feel like i looked presentable anyway. i had a funky, cute hairdo, at least. i should have taken a photo of the back.

mark and sarah's wedding was sweet and fun. i danced A LOT. i cried a little. i felt relieved to not be the photographer, though i did take a few pictures. one of my favorite parts, though, was seeing mom-mom, who is not my real mom-mom at all, but rather our next door neighbor who i've known since i was a wee babe. she used to watch mark and me after school. we would sit on the floor and watch tv, and she would bake us frozen french fries in the oven. mark would always steal mine, and i would cry. she recounted this story at the reception, by the way. she is 83 years old now, with no hair and giant glasses and a walker, and she is so effing cute. it hadn't occurred to me that she'd be someone i'd see at the wedding, so when i spotted her, i felt like bursting into tears, i was so happy. it was a sweet little surprise.

6. photo season has been super busy this year. which is good but i'm kind of tired of it already. that sounds ungrateful, probably, but it's not. i'm thrilled to be making money, it's just hard to have a full time job and also stay busy either taking or editing photos almost every weekend for the past month and a half. i keep falling asleep at the laptop. october was insane, between photoshoots, work, guests in town, and the trip home for the wedding. for a while, i was behind. like WAY behind. and that's when photography becomes a chore and i start to dread it. i spent last weekend catching up entirely, which is good. this weekend there were two shoots, so it's back to work again, but at least i got to start from zero.

7. next month, we will have Amazing Music Week in chicago. just like last year, there is one week in mid-december, when my short list of favorite musicians is scheduled to play all in a row. we have the flat five [featuring kelly hogan, nora o'connor, and their amazingly talented pals], who ONLY play this one time a year now, which is sad, but i'll take what i can get. then a few days later is the second city benefit with jeff tweedy, and then right after THAT is andrew bird at that fancy ornate church across from the hancock building. i am looking forward to all of these shows. the bird show is pretty expensive [about $45 with fees, yowza!], so i had decided to skip it this time around, but HEY, what good timing! his manager wants to use one of my photos again to promote the shows and offered me a pair of tickets in return. i like free stuff, so that'll be nice!

8. however, Amazing Music Week will just serve as a sad, sad, SAD reminder that lizbutt is not in town anymore. i mean, obviously i miss her all the time because after she left, i just stopped having a social life. not like it was hopping before or anything, and yes, i am extremely busy and have almost no time for hanging out anyway, but. i just don't really go out at all. and not only that, but i also get worried sometimes about something happening to me here and not having someone that i feel comfortable enough around to ask for help. like, who on earth could i call now if something was really wrong and i needed asap assistance? it's sad that i haven't made these sort of connections with other people, but i have always been the kind to sort of put all my eggs in one basket. i like having a go-to person. a bff. a person i like being around, when i don't feel like being around anybody. this weekend was sunny and 70--just gorgeous--and after my photoshoot at oz park, i had the sudden urge to call elisabeth and invite her to have lunch on the patio at rockwell's. but i could not, because montana is far. anyway, this especially will be sad without her. last year, we had a truly heartwarming Amazing Music Week. and just, christmastime in chicago is pretty and fun and joyous. i'm looking forward to it, regardless, and it will be a lot of fun, but i'm going to miss her a little extra that week. it's weird writing about someone who will read this...as if she won't read it? or something? and probably this is just depressing her, so i'll stop. uhhhhh, anyway, BOO ELISABETH COME BACK I MISS YOU. i mean, GO MONTANA, YOU'RE DOING GREAT, KEEP IT UP!!!!!

9. i have been sickish for like two and a half weeks now. i wish it would either go away entirely RIGHT NOW or turn into something real so that it can run its course and be done. also, my favorite co-worker left on friday to be the asst. director at a center downtown. both of these things are making me feel gross.

10. halloween at school this year was pretty adorable. one of my kids was cookie monster. his baby brother was a cookie. whiiiich is pretty amazing. however, my co-worker's son and nephew, both under a year old, dressed up like maverick and goose. they had tiny flight suits and aviator sunglasses. i was surprised she was able to find aviator glasses that tiny, but she informed me that, oh, she just went to build-a-bear. and bought TEDDY BEAR SUNGLASSES. haha. aw.



and with that, i bid you farewell.

a bunch of my two year olds are moving up to preschool next week, so this was their last day in my class. i mentioned this a while ago--my little friend n. first showed up in this homemade JSB t-shirt during teacher appreciation week. the letters are my and my co-teachers' initials. it was pretty much the best thing ever--she's like our own personal cheerleader!

she wears it pretty often, and we always get a kick out of seeing it, but today, she added a little surprise goodbye. it was both the cutest and saddest thing ever!

my job is pretty great.

you. guys.

syd and dj visited me today. !!!

sydney was part of the very first class of toddlers i taught in 2003 [some of you longtime readers may remember!]. i probably have a hundred or more pictures of her in my archives. she was my first baby--the first kid i really bonded with, when i was brand new to childcare, and it was instant. i was super close with her whole family. babysat regularly, went on trips with, watched overnight a couple times, etc. my second family, basically. they moved to california in 2005 [i nearly moved with them to be their nanny!] and i visited them a few months after. that was the last time i'd gotten to see them.

see also: this photo from november 2005


well, they're moving back to new jersey and making a ton of stops on their cross-country drive. i am so, so happy they made time to visit me today. seeing this family again made my whole day. weekend. week. whatever. they are so awesome. YOU GUYS IT IS SO WEIRD WHEN KIDS GROW UP WITHOUT YOU. but so great. i was slightly worried they would have forgotten me, but mom says they were running down the street to my apartment yelling "brandi! brandi!!" they even remembered my cats, and it was like no time had passed at all. except, you know, they are four years older and humongous and smart as can be. <3. david even brought up things we'd done years ago, like when i visited them in california and took them to san francisco, and when we went to las vegas and watched the fountains at the bellagio.

david, who used to go by dj when he was little, is going to be TEN YEARS OLD.


and sydney will be EIGHT in october. aghghghghtghghghWHAT?!


they hung out for about an hour, but i really wish they could've stayed longer. i had such a great time chatting with heather and george, and seeing syd and david play with the kitties and tell me all the state capitals and spell long words and play my ukulele. this is why i love working with children. i can't believe my first baby, who was just a couple weeks from turning two years old when we first met, is going to start third grade in a couple weeks. <3.

OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS 'MORE TO LOVE' SHOW AND WHY DOES IT EXIST, OTHER THAN TO HUMILIATE FAT GIRLS THE WORLD OVER? thanks, hulu, for letting me experience this infuriating monstrosity. if you are not aware, it is basically "the bachelor" for fat people, and it is seriously like the saddest and most pitiful thing i have ever seen in my life. just a room full of broken girls crying, trying way too hard, and/or embarrassing themselves in front of millions of people and making it even easier for everyone to make fun of them. it is making me SO ANGRY and i am so embarrassed for everyone involved. also, ANY AND EVERY TIME ONE OF THE GIRLS TALKS, it shows her height and weight? like really? also i really wish none of them would talk, ever, because it is always so wrong. the whole thing is just creepy on many levels.

oh, and: in the beginning, he gives all of the girls Very Important Diamond Promise Rings [the promise being that he will get to know them inside and out and they will all give love a chance and open their hearts and crap crap crap.], which makes the saddest girls all "OMG NO ONE HAS EVER GIVEN ME ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE!!!!11 *sobsobsob* you know, i think i am getting to the root of the issue which is that most of these ladies are emotionally like 11 years old. but anyway, at the end of the show, he has to eliminate five of them, so they all have to put the rings back into a bowl [?], and then he distributes them a second time, to the ones who get to stay. haaaaaaaaa. so bizarre and tacky! why would you do that? are they going to toss the rings back and get them back each time? just give them a stupid tacky rose and be done with it.

ladies on this terrible show: I GET IT. BELIEVE ME. I, TOO, AM GIANT AND BROKEN. HOWEVER, i really really REALLY OH MY GOD REALLY just wish you would have kept it to yourself. or your therapist or, you know, your livejournal, like i do. i mean holy crap.

livejournal, i wanted my next entry to you to be about my fantastic trip to california, even the part where i ended up having to get a root canal as soon as i got home, which actually hasn't been that bad so far [part two is tomorrow morning].

but instead i have to tell you [though i already did on twitter and facebook] that tonight, in the midst of some completely insane chicago thunderstorms, a tree outside my apartment was struck by lightning. it split in half and, of course, fell on top of my car. i mean, obviously. because why wouldn't it? remember the car i was so happy to have gotten, brand new, six months ago, after living so long with my sad deathtrap? the one that is all fancy and shiny and has a talking robot lady who dials the phone for me? the one that i bought by myself with my own money and negotiations? yes, that one. the hood and trunk are all dented in, though somehow my back windshield is still intact, which i guess is because trees fall kind of in slow motion, don't they? i don't know what the frame looks like under there. no idea whether it is fixable or will need to be totalled. it is just so sad to look at. apparently a few things like this have happened here tonight so the police expect that the tree will be on my car until tomorrow morning. geico is towing it away on monday for inspections and all that. i have to get a rental in the morning. i have comprehensive insurance, thank god, but i do have a pretty large deductible to pay. it is just the last thing i need [and can afford] right now. i know it could have been a lot worse and i am really grateful that i wasn't inside the car, obviously, but god dammit. anytime something nice happens, the rest of my life just decides it needs to fall apart.

a few people have said, "cheer up! maybe insurance will get you a new car!" which, a. thanks for trying to cheer me up, i do appreciate that and it's a good point. however, b. it would have been more exciting if had not just bought this new car. but since i did, it is just somehow more depressing. also, OH MY GOD, this won't make my rates go up, will it? please, no.

i have been feeling a little overwhelmed about money things recently, and this just takes it to a new level. i feel really stressed out and a little panicky. i think i am planning to basically cancel my social life for a while and do a lot of stuff on the side [babysitting, photography, prostitution] to make some extra money. not that my social life is really hopping anyway, but you know. maybe i'll try and sell some prints or something, too.

maybe i should have stayed in california a little longer.

yesterday, during my lunch break, i borrowed my favorite baby from infant 1, brought him downstairs and played with him while my bosses and i discussed work stuff. he is a sweet, sweet boy with a giant head and a default expression of extreme concern. he looks exactly like his big sister, who's in my class, and he's just a ball of love and joy. it's tough to get him to crack a smile, but i'm pretty good at it. it probably seems strange to take the one hour of the workday where i don't *have* to be around children to play with a baby, but sometimes, it is just exactly what i want to do, especially on a grumpy day, and it's so neat that i can do it. it's hard to imagine a job where adults are the only people to interact with.

<3.

oh also, emi's new song is "no, a deer. a female deer." it also includes the lyric, "no re mi fa so latino!"

my job beats yours.

here are a couple pretttty amazing cell phone videos of e., who i wrote about in my last entry. the videos are friends/family only on flickr, so i can't embed them, but here are some links that include flickr guest passes, so anybody can go see!

1!the sun'll come out, too-my-row.

2!and then i don't feed so van.

it's teacher appreciation week, and our bosses sent out emails to the parents, suggesting little things they can do each day to show their thanks. today was the day to wear something in your teacher's favorite color, but one of our kids took it to the next level. i've been sick for a couple days and was, honestly, fairly miserable when i got to work this morning, but my co-teachers, jessie and sarah, stopped me on my way past the classroom and held up n., one of my very favorite two year olds. n. was wearing a little pink and white t-shirt with red iron-on letters that read J S B. in our classroom, when we write our daily sheets for the parents, or pretty much anytime we send any communication home with our kids, rather than signing all of our names, we typically just sign our initials--you guessed it, JSB. so basically, this was like our own fan club t-shirt. it was pretty much the cutest and most charming thing ever. of all days not to have my camera! one of my co-workers took a couple pictures of the three of us with n., but she, of course, chose that moment to clam up and look the saddest she has ever looked in her life. somehow it made it even funnier, though. like she was not aware of what she was signing up for. in any case, i love it so much when parents are creative and thoughtful like that. i wrote an email to them on my lunch break, on behalf of all of us. :o)

since i don't have a picture from today, i will share one from a couple weeks ago. i really thought i'd posted some of these here already, but i guess not. anyway, n. is the one in the red coat, jumping 8000 feet in the air!