Was feeling left out for bad comics day.
I’ve already had some reactions to this comic that people think it’s a bummer. It is and it isn’t. I guess I’ll talk about this here now.
I’ve been haunted by bad vibes most of my life, and they got worse after my mom died. I have genuinely thought something might be medically wrong with me, and the lack of luck I was having in the job search was just reinforcing the worst ideas that my life was over and I deserved to be abandoned in a homeless shelter.
Having a medical professional say “Actually, it’s not that bad, and you scored really high on a lot of good stuff” is really nice! And I believe them! The tests they put me through to determine where my deficiencies were was very comprehensive. Seriously, I checked into the neurologist at 8:30am and didn’t get out until 4pm. They put me through six and a half hours of tests for cognition, memory, dexterity, reasoning, language, and intelligence. The diagnosis report they gave me was 28 pages!
Being able to put a label on these things is a huge weight off my shoulders. Because what mentally healthy individuals may not realize is that a non-trivial amount of feeling like this is questioning it. There’s a part of you that knows you’re having irrational thoughts but you can’t explain it. And not being able to explain it just makes it worse. You begin to feel like a monster.
Having someone who is literally trained in mental health issues say with total sincerity, “you are not a monster” is a big deal.
The comic is about how I am literally receiving nothing but good news. Obviously in the comic I’m still bummed out, which is a little true. I wanted a silver bullet for this stuff, but it doesn’t work like that. But I know a lot more about what’s going on in my brain and a plan can be formulated now on how to deal with it.
If you think the punchline here is sad then, well, oops! I think it’s funny and that’s what matters. I hope that some day you also get the help you need, if you need it.
And if you’re reading this and you have questions about my neurology appointment or my report, throw me some asks! Talking about these issues also helps a lot and I’d love to share more.


























































































