handwritten threats, stained with a kiss of lipstick

Name(s): Maric, Caspian

Age: I am 39.

Birthday: April 29th, 1986.

Astrological Sign: Sun: Taurus, Moon: Capricorn, Rising: Libra, Sidreal: Sun: Aries, Moon: Sagitarius, Rising: Virgo, Chinese: Fire Tiger.

Spiritual Beliefs: Okay, so I grew up learning about Jehovah's Witnesses. This is something my birth mother tried to ingrain in me but I was always drawn to the occult, witchery and other religions. I learned about other religions while steadily learning about the JW God. At first I stuck with the JW God, but by 28, I ended up renouncing God and accepting the universe as the creator. I believe the christian God exists, but he's the sun and also the universe. He is also a she. I also believe in taoism, shinto, wicca, catholicism and several other things as well. Even Hindi.

Ethnicity: Black Biracial with a hint of Hispanic.

Ancestry: On my father's side I'm Nigerian and Hispanic. On my mother's side I'm French, Breton, Welsh, Scottish, Italian, German, Irish, Norwegion and English.

Gender: Transman.

Pronouns: he/him.

Living Arrangement/Family: I am currently living in a nursing home, that is for the forseeable future until I'm on my feet. I intend on getting my own home within the next year, if not sooner.


Education: 8th grade unfortunately. I'm in tutoring now to take the g.e.d.

Job: N/A. I'm a student though.

Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Demipansexual. I don't want to date cismen except one man, who I trust and it's gonna be a moment before we're finally together.

Relationship Status: Single. I'm looking incase someone I love and I don't end up together.

Hobbies: Writing, Watching TV and Films, Watching video games online, playing video games, watching youtube videos of animals, reading books, coloring.

Interests: veganism and vegeterianism, dream intrepretation, tarot reading, astrology, coloring, painting, drawing, animals and pets, tv and films, video games, music, writing, reading, youtube, tiktok, shinto, taosim, wicca, catholicism, exorcisms, psychology, photography, pregnancy, children.

Health: My physical health isn't the best as I'm dealing with a bit of heart problems but they're not so bad, I also deal with weak legs, short breathiness and frequent colds.

Mental Health Wise: I'm doing better than usual. I deal with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, A.D.H.D, Anxiety, and Depression.

Other Things About Me: I am an INFJ. I can read you like a book, and even if you think you're hiding well, you're not. I'll read you, tell my family what they can't trust about you and you'll always be found out. lol


Things I like:

TV shows: Supernatural, Riverdale, Reba, Golden Girls, Beat Bobby Flay, Guy's Grocery Games, Diners, Drive Inns and Dives, Wildcard Kitchen, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel The Series, The Vampire Diaries, Being Human, Bobby's Triple Threat, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Ed, Edd, and Eddy, Adventure Time, Regular Show, Teen Titans and Teen Titans Go, George Lopez, Friends, Aqua teen Hunger Force, Sailormoon, Naruto, Death Note, Big O, Furi Kuri, Mr. Robot,

Movies: Labyrinth, Legend, Dirty Dancing, Carrie, Maximum Overdrive, Silver Bullet, Lucas, Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, Manequinn, Hotel New Hampshire, Flowers in the attic, Double Impact, Sudden Death, Lionheart, Universal Soldier, Cyborg, Terminator, the Little Mermaid, Beauty and The Beast, Rapunzel, Princess and the Frog, Anatasia, Bob's Burger's - The Movie, Zootopia, The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, Finding Nemo, The Matrix Trilogy Girl - Interrupted, Fight Club, 23, Mulan (animated Disney movie from the late 1990s), The Truman Show, The Crow, Twister, The Craft, Dracula - Dead And Loving It, Speed, The Basketball Diaries, Demolition Man, Interview With The Vampire, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Sister Act (both parts), Hocus Pocus, Back To The Future (all three parts), Teen Witch, Beetlejuice, Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure, Flashdance, Footloose, Rose Red, Cell (Stephen King), IT original and newer version,

Music: The Birthday Massacre, Enigma, Three Days Grace, Shinedown, 2Pac, Eminem, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Creed, Staind, Goo Goo Dolls, L'Arc'En'Ciel, Hyde, Utada Hikaru, Hoobastank, 311, sublime, Eve6, Tonic, the Wallflowers, No Doubt, Smashing Pumpkins, Alanis Morrisette, Duncan Shiek, Delirium, A Perfect Circle, Bauhaus, Billy Idol, David Bowie, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Foo Fighters, Garbage, Incubus, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, Joy Division, Lady Gaga, Linkin Park, Michael Jackson, New Order, Nine Inch Nails, P!nk, Queen, Rihanna, Rob Zombie, Siouxsie And The Banshees, Switchblade Symphony, Tears For Fears, The Killers, The Weeknd, Tool, Trent Reznor, Gackt, D'espairs Ray, Dir En Grey, Guns and Roses, Poison, Boston, Winger, Elvis Presley, Etta James, Lighthouse, Fuel,

Books/Authors: J.K Rowling, Stephen King, Edgar Allan Poe (I haven't read thoroughly in years....)

Games: Sims 2, Sims 3, Final Fantasy 7-8-9-10-13-15 and Tactics, Fatal Frame 1 thru 5, Sudokien 3, Silent Hill 1 thru 6, Onimusha Series, Resident Evil Series, Until Dawn, Legend of Zelda (any)


Other places you can find me online:

→ Instagram: Username is "khaoskitten". The profile is private, for the reason I am paranoid about being found by people I don't want to be found by... I hope this makes sense. If you like, you can add me, though, I will likely add you back when I know who you are.
→ Bluesky: when I remember it, I'll put it here.
→ Discord: caspian5405
Goodreads: I need to get an account. D:

I signed up for get your words out, meaning I'll be spending 300 days this year writing. I plan on holding myself acountable and writing something, anything until I'm writing regularly. Here's something I got from Abbie Emmons of youtube, an author who has had a successful career so far, it's a questionnare to help you achieve your writing goals.

2026 Writing Goals

1. Find your why Before you begin setting your writing goals, sort out the deeper reasons behind why you want to accomplish these goals.

When I imagine my dream author life, what does it look like?

I get up every morning and write until I need to take a break, then return to writing in the evening for a few hours. I want to get up every day around 5 o'clock in the morning and just write. Anything, everything. I see myself being successful, being a best selling author. It'll take grit, a little money and most importantly the fact that I actually write. I see myself doing book signings or author q and a's. I'll be nervous when it comes to that, but I know I can do it.


What first action steps can I take now to make this dream a reality?

Start writing everyday, no matter what time it is. But most importantly forcing myself to get out of bed on a regular basis and writing in the mornings. Going to bed every night. I plan on getting my days and nights switched around so I can do this. I don't want to see my dreams pass me by.

What writing projects am I the most excited about this year and why?
My fantasy novel involving a bard and his brother a knight, possibly making the bard a lot like aragon from lord of the rings. I have an idea brewing for it.

My Urban Fantasy Novel, about a young girl or boy who has magical abilities and has seven major archdemons to kill. (Basically)

my soap opera novel series about older and younger queer people who are in love and crazy shit is happening to them all the time.

There's a few more that have been stuck in my head for awhile. (I also have trouble writing because I'm afraid I won't have the mind to write certain stories, some of them are intelligent thought provoking POC thrillers and I don't even have a highschool education)

2. Begin with the end in mind If you don’t reverse-engineer your timeline, you’re going to be plodding forward into eternity with no end in sight. You need a finish line to help you measure the distance you must cover to reach it.

By this time next year I want to… be writing full time, (plus exercising daily, I think that'll help with writing too to be honest) plus writing in the mornings and in the evenings with exercising in between.

Starting at the end, what step comes before that? And before that?

To have written everyday, before that, to have written everyday and got my days and nights switched around in order for it to happen.

How does each action step connect to the final goal?

Exercise plus health goals help me get my mental health together. Not to mention they're upping my medications and that means I'll be able to focus more often and actually write.

3. Be realistic We all have limitations and that’s not a bad thing. Factor in your current priorities in life and accept the fact that you might not be able to devote all the time you want to devote to this particular goal this year. Be realistic.

Realistically, how much time can I devote each month/week/day to furthering my writing goals?

Four hours a day, possibly between exercising and writing on my relaxing downtime moments. so possibly 5-6 hours a day. Honestly.

If I could only accomplish one priority goal this year, which one would I choose?

To write everyday plus exercise. I can do it. Exercising is very important though because I need to get my legs stronger so I can stand properly and walk.

If I had a best friend who had the exact same lifestyle and responsibilities as I do, what advice would I give them?

Just take it one day at a time, eventually motivation and discipline comes. It creeps inside you, just think about it everyday until you get angry or upset and then that should drive you. Think about it until you're exhausted. make it your obsession. Obsess over it instead of food or drugs, do it until your mind is ready to finally start applying itself.

4. Give yourself more time than you think you need Even if it’s just a month or a couple of weeks. You’ll thank yourself later. And you’ll never regret giving yourself more time.

Considering all my other responsibilities, what’s the soonest date I could accomplish this goal by? What would happen if I pushed that date off a month?

I don't have a lot of responsibilities besides getting myself better. I have 300 days to accomplish this goal, my end date is December 31st 2026. If I pushed the date off a month, I wouldn't finish my challenge and that would make me feel very sad. I'm tired of failing, I want to raise up and actually do what must be done. I know I can do it. it takes courage, guts and fortitude.

5. Establish a system that suits your current lifestyle and set yourself up for success Rather than setting a goal and plowing your way towards it, mindfully consider all the things in your life that you can’t change and how you’re going to work around those things to accomplish your writing goals this year.

Considering my current lifestyle, is there anything I can say “no” to so that I can say “yes” to writing?
Writing instead of snacking all the time. Honestly, I need to do that. I can also stay awake despite being trapped in a bed, meaning if I wake up, I can start writing instead of feeling trapped all the time.

What distractions am I in control of? Can I remove those roadblocks before they trip me up?

Food, sleep and feeling uncomfortable. Writing sometimes feels uncomfortable to me, because I'm trying to feel something that isn't there. You're not going to feel like writing all the time, so you need to build a habit and discipline yourself. so that's what I'll do.

How can I protect my energy and creativity so I don’t get burned out?
Turn off discord, turn off videos and just write. That's how I keep myself from burning out.