I'm happy to do more top 10s in this post, especially if they have to do with TTRPGs tbh, I forgot I love listing D&D things.


These past few days have been really stressful due to a combination of my sister hogging the washing machine, lack of money, PMS, and yet another delivery that was marked as received when it wasn't, which meant I had to call the store I ordered from yesterday to see if they can do something about that. I would have done it sooner but my brain was not cooperating in the slightest.

Today is -- extremely weird, to be honest, but I did get good news in the form of my mom's request for financial aid being approved and a date for when she'll get the first payment, which is a huge weight off my chest. We just need to survive until March 1, which is... fine? Probably? (Any help is extremely appreciated.)

But holy shit my brain is so confused, y'all. I do not get it. I don't get anything is how confused I am. Who am I. What do I do with my life. I have lists! I have Finch! I have a planner! I have a Trello with multiple possibilities of things to do! I have a page on my planner for stuff I want to watch/read/try! What is wrong with me. (It's my brain recalibrating, I assume. I've had to push down so much anxiety I've had nightmares every fucking day since last Monday. I don't not get it, logically. But feeling it is disconcerting.)

I've been meaning to post all month, but Snowflake didn't appeal to me all that much, plus there's a lot of history there for me, even if I wasn't directly involved with the drama.

However, one thing I will be taking from Snowflake is the top 10 lists, outsourced. Ask me for any and I'll answer in the comments!

I am also going to make a little wishlist, much smaller than the one for Christmas. This is stuff that would make me happy:

1. Jigsaw puzzles
2. PS5 gift cards
3. Subscriptions to my ko-fi, which I'm planning to turn into a place to share all my TTRPG card, homebrew, merch and map designs
4. 4. Art of my PCs from the TTRPG campaigns I play in

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It's been a pretty stressful month, money-wise. We've managed, but it is what it is. Doesn't help that it's cold and that I'm the only person in this house who's capable of not taking things out on other people. I've been doing jigsaw puzzles and deleting photos from my backlog and trying to figure out a permanent set-up for my day-a-page planner, which I keep meaning to post about to journalsandplanners. I took pics and everything.

One upside that's been keeping me sane is the soft light my friend Nate got me, which I use to get selfies even when it's too dark because winter. It helps my self-esteem a lot, even if I'm more aware of the way my skin keeps breaking out. I figure most of that is coming from the same place as the daily nightmares.