Aah! It's bitey!

So I was visiting my qpp and we scened

basically. so we were rp'ing omegaverse scenario with dominant omegas who keep alphas enslaved in their households

she was the omega, and i was a himbo alpha tasked with spanking her to her pleasure

at some point my executive dysfunction stopped working (it was like 2AM for weird scheduling reasons)

and i asked her to tell me how many times to hit her at a time, etc

she gave me a number, i lost count after like three smacks

and i was like “was that [the number]? i don’t know how to count”

Had a post now where I got frustrated at doms who think they know their subs better than the subs know themselves, as though holding a whip gave you some kind of special insight.

Then I was like. Wait. Is that something I do?

Like - okay. Mental states where a person can’t make their own decisions exist. This is why people so drunk they can’t recognize their surroundings can’t consent.

In the act of domming, most doms accept they will be putting their subs in some kind of altered state - trance, subspace, whatever. It is understood if during a session a sub asks you for something they nixed earlier, you should refuse, because their judgement is impaired.

Similarly, people can make bad decisions out of inexperience or low standards or bad mental health. As a dom if I believe this is the case, I do think I have a duty to give the person as much information as I can in an effort to let them make an informed decision.

But the difference is, ultimately - each person is the only source of truth regarding their own experiences. And they have their autonomy, and violating that is horrible.

I can make predictions about people with the information I have. They may agree or disagree, the predictions may be correct or incorrect. But ultimately - if I put them somewhere they don’t want to be, in the best case I made a horrible mistake, and in the common case I violated their consent and acted immorally.

All the negotiation techniques that exist ultimately come down to all sides knowing how to put the scene’s participants in states they want to be in.

So I can make predictions, and give information, and let the person decide where they want to go. The destination may be “utter devotion” or “a world of pain” or “an action I genuinely wouldn’t want to do left to my own devices (but doing it anyway fulfills some need for me)”. But they choose it.

Maybe, with familiarity and trust and care and communication, some of the decisions may be given to the domming side. For me? That’s not in my risk profile, not even a little.

And the doms I’m thinking about mostly operate with painfully partial and nuance-less knowledge, actively refusing to consider the source of knowledge right there in front of them: their sub, expressing wants and needs.

evil plan for today: make a hypno script for myself to have some fun while cleaning the house

first decision: do i want to be a robot, or an eldritch house deity

hmmm. what if i’m looking at this as an eldritch house deity possessing a human vessel.

well part of my brain is afraid that i’ll actually call down a deity to possess me accidentally (I don’t believe in this stuff but I’m an anxious person)

Current problem: wanna go to a rope workshop and don’t have a partner

It’s age limited and most of the friends I made here are too old to attend, bluh

I guess I could see if I match with anyone there but I might end up matchless which is sad when I actually feel like doing rope topping for once

I’m really amused at myself…

Me trancing an inexperienced subject: that doesn’t count as me knowing what I’m doing, they can’t tell if I’m doing it wrong

Me trancing an experienced subject: that doesn’t count either, they’re doing all the work