Old Angel Stories, Part 4
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apachefirecatPrincess Cordelia, posted 1-21-13, rated K/G
Characters: Cordelia, Ensemble
Doyle called her Princess first, but now Cordy really feels the part.
"Argh!" Cordelia cries, toppling forward as another vision grips her mind. Instantly, her guys are there beside her, covering her with comforting hands. Gunn and Lorne are on either of her sides. Wesley tires to hold her at first but moves aside at one, silent look from Angel.
Her other guys still don't leave her as Angel picks her up and starts carrying her to the couch. She knows they're there for she can feel them touching her gently on any part of her they can reach through Angel's protective hold. She even feels Lorne's cool, manicured hands on her ankles, of all places. In their desperation to make sure she's okay, they're striving to touch her in any way they can and far unlike anybody else who's ever wanted to get some Cordelia Chase on them.
It almost makes her feel like a pop star, but she can't let them see her smiling as she recites her vision in a dazed voice lest they think her not in so much pain and, thereby, cease to care quite so much about her. She can't see her, but she knows Fred's trailing behind them as she scribbles down every word Cordelia speaks. Every word she speaks, everything she can remember from her vision, is golden. They never know exactly what information they'll need, but they know they'll need her vision.
She's almost reluctant for Angel to put her on the couch, but she can't stop him from delicately lowering her onto the couch that's genuine leather because they know she prefers it that way. He hovers beside her, stroking her hair, and she relishes his fingers and soft caresses as her boys again run around the office. There is no personal bubble here, nor does she ever want there to be one again between them.
Wesley fluffs her silk and velvet pillows and puts them carefully behind her head as Angel lifts her one more time for the night. Gunn runs to get her pain pills while Lorne pours her a goblet of his finest champagne. They're by her side again in an instant, all more concerned with her than her visions until Fred humbly clears her throat and says, "Hum, guys, we have a life to save here."
She sees the reluctance in all their eyes. They're afraid to leave her, to even more from her, like she's a fragile doll who might break if they so much as breathe the wrong way. "Go," she says, knowing the innocent is more important than her.
She manages to let a part of the smile she feels in her heart come to her lips despite the red-hot pain pulsating through her brain. "I'll be fine," she tells them, and she knows she will be. Despite the pain of the visions, and the way they're deteriorating her brain, Cordy knows she'll be fine because of them. Each of them are her heroes, though no more so than her beloved Angel, and Cordy knows they'll keep her safe.
She still remembers when she wanted so desperately to be rid of her visions, even to the point that she kissed Wesley again. It took her a long time to accept her visions, but now, she wouldn't give anything for them. Again, it's because of them for in their love and caring, they finally make her feel like a true Princess and not just the mean and cold bitch Queen C. She's no longer mean, and she's never cold now. Angel and Doyle taught her how to care, and thanks to all her guys, Cordelia's heart is always warmed by love now. When she was a Queen, it was a title she'd earned through power, heartlessness, and ruthless cunning, but now as a Princess, she is loved and cherished above all else in her world. A true and full smile lights Cordelia's face. She forgets her pain in the true love she feels. She is a true Princess, and she wouldn't give that, this wonderful feeling, or her visions up for anything.
The End
Revenge, posted 5-12-13, rated K+/PG
Characters: Angel+/Cordelia, Gunn
Revenge is all he has left.
He was quiet for a long time at her grave before he finally growled, "Demon possession."
Wesley promptly nodded. "It's the only explanation for Jasmine. There is no other plausible reason for our Cordelia to birth a grown, African American woman."
Gunn's eyes flicked to Wes. He was the only one who had mentioned the race thing. He understood, and the Brit was right. "We're gonna kill her, aren't we?"
"Long and slow," Angel snarled. Without his Cordelia, he wanted nothing more than to walk into sunlight as soon as the giant ball of fire rose, but there was revenge to exact.
The End
See Me, posted 7-18-06, rated T/PG-13
Characters: Angel/Cordelia
Not even the Seer sees everything.
Do you remember when it happened?
Do you remember when he died,
Leaving you with a gift whose value
We have questioned again and again?
Do you remember when they captured you,
Tried to sell your eyes,
A treasure beyond anything
The world has ever known before?
They wanted them for your power,
For your visions, for your gift
For they thought that they
Enabled you to see anything.
They were wrong for
Though your beautiful eyes will always be
A treasure beyond compare,
You do not see everything.
Oh, you probably think you do,
And others would believe you do.
I know they do,
But I also know the truth.
You have seen so much,
But you can not see
What aches to be seen,
What yearns to be accepted by you.
You have seen so much.
You have seen
Your world turned upside down
Only to be righted again by hands
You thought did not care.
You have seen
Monsters both real and imagined -
The ghosts and goblins
Ordinary mortals do not believe in
And the demons of memories
That haunt your mind.
You have seen the end of time.
You have seen the world saved many a time.
But still, you have not seen it all.
You have seen the incredible -
People bow down at your feet,
An entire world that admires you.
You have seen the horrible -
Humans held captive as slaves,
Every one you care for the most go astray.
You have seen the impossible -
A Vampire walking in the day,
A boy grow years in mere weeks.
But still, you have not seen it all.
You have seen me like
No other before ever has
And no one else ever will.
You have seen me at my best;
You have seen me at my worst.
You have seen me save the world;
You have seen me weaker than any would believe.
But still, you have not seen it all.
Open your eyes, Cordelia, and look.
Just here, in front of you,
What do you see?
A man? A monster?
I am both, but I am more and less.
A hero? A loser?
I am both, but I am more and less.
Let down your shields, and see inside me
As I know you can if you only let yourself.
Look into my eyes and see me,
Standing before you,
My soul barren and naked in my eyes,
See me here, waiting for you.
Please, Cordelia, see me.
Do not just look at me.
Do not look through me.
But see me.
See me for all that I am.
Let yourself see the real me.
See me for everything that I am,
Everything that is here before you,
Waiting, yearning, crying out desperately,
To be seen by you, To be loved by you.
Look up into my eyes, and see me.
See me for all that I am.
See me for everything that I am
For everything that I am
Is yours alone for the taking.
You have but to see me,
To accept all that I am offering you,
All that is yours,
All that I am.
Please, Cordy, see me.
The End
She Needs Him, posted 5-7-13, rated PG-13/T
Characters: Angel/Cordelia, Lorne
She needs him.
She's dressed perfectly glamorously today in a low-cut, tight blouse and a short skirt that would make any grown man drool. Her fingers through her hair; her jiggling breasts draw tight. The light shines on her throat as she massages her neck. "I need a man," she groans lustfully.
Angel walks pass her, out the door, and into the night as Wesley and Gunn trip over themselves in their rush to volunteer. Lorne comfortingly rubs her shoulder; Cordelia droops. "He really must be dead, Brown Eyes, not to see you." She knows it's true, but it doesn't hurt any less.
The End
She Wasn't Supposed To Feel, posted 5-27-11, rated PG/K+
Characters: Angel/Cordelia, Doyle
Cordelia knew she wasn't supposed to feel this way, and yet doing so is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to her.
She wasn't supposed to feel like this. She wasn't supposed to take pride in her work. After all, she should not even have to work. She was a Princess or, at least, a very wealthy and beautiful young woman who had total right to all the power, prestige, fame, and money in the world. She should have suitors lining up before her, each waiting eagerly to award her with diamonds, a limousine, or even just humongous bank accounts. She shouldn't have to work, and she certainly shouldn't like that work.
She also should not care about that work or the people it affected, and yet, she found herself caring more and more. Every one with any real brains knew that caring was a disease. It ate away at you until you became a sap ready to be picked at and used as the world's punching bag. And really, what did caring get you any way? Angel had been sent to Hell, Buffy had been killed, and Willow . . . Well, Willow was Willow, and that certainly said it all for that poor, wanna-be loser. Cordelia knew no one who cared about the world more than those three, and they'd certainly suffered far too much because of their caring.
It had still managed to crawl beneath even her tough hide, however, and no matter how hard she tried, Cordy just couldn't seem to shake it. She couldn't seem to help being pleased by the hugs and smiles of their clients, and joy beamed through her like radiant sunshine every time they saved a life - and, of course, got paid for the job. Saving lives was good, but money was still better. It may still feel good to save a life without getting paid for it, but it felt way better to get paid for the job.
That's what these people were, she reminded herself, watching Angel Investigations' latest clients file out of the office. They were a means to a paycheck. Helping them paid her bills. That's why she was still here, and she wouldn't be here for long. She'd get that call from Hollywood and get all the wealth and fame she deserved when the time for her big role came. Her star would shine, and these people would be only a distant memory.
As would the slime that now covered her. Man, how she needed a bath! Part of her still couldn't believe that she had dove in between that Demon and the little girl and kitten it had been launching to attack. What had she been thinking? She could have been killed, and then her star would never have come!
Cordelia's grin had still been firmly in place, but it had become faked as the family had started to leave and her thoughts had turned inward. Then her hazel eyes spied the little girl still standing in the doorway, the tiny, fluffy kitten clutched tightly in her small, pudgy arms, and Cordelia's smile, and soul, lifted again. She wasn't supposed to care, she thought as the mother returned, smiled at her and her co-workers, and pulled the girl and kitty away. She wasn't supposed to care or feel this way, but she couldn't help it.
"Aye, Princess, ye did well taenight," Doyle spoke, grinning, as he clasped her shoulder.
Cordelia looked up and found herself gazing not into Doyle's eyes but into Angel's. Her heart gave a jump that was becoming ever more familiar in the brooding hero's presence. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, either, she thought. After all, nothing could come from these feelings that Angel was stirring in her. Sure, he was a drop-dead, yumalicious hunk, but he was also dead. He also certainly couldn't have any real fun, thanks to the curse that couldn't be broken without all Hell literally breaking lose again.
But still she her heart hammered in her chest, her breath became shorter and more ragged, and her palms sweated as Angel moved closer. Still she wondered how it would feel to be held by those strong, caring arms. Would his touch be cold, or it would be as scorchingly, breath-takingly hot as it was in her every good dream? What would it be like to be his love, to have him wrapped all around her, to have him dedicating his soul and life to her instead of some blonde bitch who had certainly never deserved him as she'd sent him to Hell instead of really trying to save him?
What would it be like to be loved by her Angel, to feel his lips upon hers, to taste the sweet ecstasy of his kiss? Part of Cordelia feared that she would never know the answer to those questions that plagued her every moment, but she was already beginning to figure out that she'd never stop wondering or dreaming of him. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, but she couldn't help it. She'd tried. She'd used every trick known to womankind to get over the dashing Vampire Knight before her. She'd gone out with so many guys that she couldn't even remember all their names, and to be honest, she no longer tried because none of them were Angel.
She'd tried telling herself time and again of all the many, many reasons why she should never become involved with him. He was her boss; he was her best friend. A romance with her boss could end with her being fired, and, as much as she hated to admit it, she needed this job. A romance with her best friend could cost her that friend. Plus, if she lost Angel, she'd also lose Doyle, such as he was, and she'd be truly, completely alone again. A shudder usually passed through her every time she thought of being alone for she couldn't bare even the mere thought of that loneliness happening to her ever again, but this time, it didn't for Angel held her riveted as he moved closer.
Angel grinned, and Cordelia blinked, wondering if he'd somehow figured out her secret. He nodded then, and a warmth spread through her as he agreed simply and softly, "Yeah." She didn't know that he ached to touch her, too, as Doyle so brazenly did but feared she'd recoil from his touch in repulsion. His gaze spoke volumes to her, however, and burned her more thoroughly than any one else's touch ever had as he looked into her eyes.
She wondered, fleetingly, if he could see into her soul, if he could possibly know how deeply she cared for him, how truly she loved him, but then he was gone, walking pass her as though nothing had ever happened. Yet it had, Cordelia realized. She had finally gotten Angel's attention. He had acknowledged her bravery, a bravery she, as a pom-pom-pushing, rich-girl cheerleader wasn't even supposed to have.
She bounced on her feet, beaming as brilliantly as any sun or moon ever had, even as her beloved hero walked away. He had noticed her! The man, the Vampire, the hero she loved had noticed her, and he'd said she'd done well, which, of course, she had! "You're both right, of course," she said, grinning from ear to ear as she turned to her male companions. "I did do good tonight, and I think I deserve a reward! Who wants to take me shopping?"
She giggled as the guys groaned. They couldn't faze her tonight. Nothing could, not after what she'd just done and learned! Angel had looked at her! Her love had truly seen her at last! Cordelia laughed, her hazel eyes and beautiful smile dancing in pure delight and love. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, she admitted silently, but it certainly felt wonderful and she never wanted it to stop!
The End
Shopping Demons, posted 5-6-09, rated PG/K+
Characters: Angel/Cordy, Ensemble
Angel learns one thing he doesn't want to do with Cordelia, and at the end of their date, they astound their friends.
Four heads lifted in curiosity as the door opened and a mixture of packages in all shapes and sizes came tumbling into the room. Behind them came their boss, his clothes torn to rags, his legs wobbling, and his dark, spiky hair in complete disarray. Every one spoke at once even as Fred rushed to help.
"Aw, Angel, don't tell me y'all were interrupted - !"
"She didn't - ?!" Gunn cried, his brown eyes as big as saucers. "Man, I knew she wanted ya bad, but," he whistled, "daaamn!"
"Angel, why wouldn't you listen to me?" Wesley implored. "I tried to warn you how terrible a shop addict Cordelia is."
"Don't look at me, sweetcakes," Lorne said, surveying his nails that Fred had just painted. "I offered to take her shopping, but nnooo, you had to do it yourself." His yellow eyes raised to Angel's dark orbs. "Why must you do everything the hard way?" the green Demon asked in a partially pleading voice.
Gunn looked at Lorne and Wesley. "No way she did all that shopping!"
Fred was now beside Angel, hurriedly gathering the packages that were falling out of his tired arms. "Of course she didn't!" She looked up at Angel in concern. "Where is Cordy?"
Angel jerked his head in the direction of the doorway, then sank into the nearest chair. Fred's arms were full, so she opted to use her foot instead to push the door open. Cordelia was still coming up the walkway, swinging a few bags in her arms. The second biggest grin, seconded only to her smile when Angel had finally professed his love to her, was on her face, and she was still chattering away, not realizing that Angel was already inside.
"Oh, Angel, thanks again so much for all of this! But next time, let's go to - " She finally stopped talking and looked around as she reached the door. She looked all around, glancing behind her several times. "Fred," she asked at last, "where's Angel?"
Fred opened the door wider, her own mouth still partially agape, and Cordelia grinned when she spied Angel sagged down into the recliner. "Newbie," she teased lightly before swaying her way to him, grasping his hand, and tugging at him to follow her. "Come on, let's go try on that new suit."
Angel sighed but did not complain, his mind on the fact that the sooner he reached their bedroom, the sooner he could lay down on the bed. He let Cordelia lead him away as Fred called to them, "Guys! Guys! GUYS!"
"Aw, leave the lovebirds alone," Lorne told her.
"But," she asked exasperatedly, "who's going to go out there and pick up all those packages?!"
At the mingle of the guys' voices questioning her in confusion, Fred held the door open wider. Gunn's mouth dropped open; Wesley sighed. Lorne shook his head at the sight of the multitude of packages that were strewn between the door all the way out of sight and beyond, he couldn't help but to presume, to where Angel had parked the car. "You've got to love a girl who knows how to shop!"
"Good," Fred told him. "Then you can help me pick them up!"
"Don't look at me, cupcake. Just like I told Angel cakes: I offered to take her shopping, but he declined my invitation. Perhaps next time he'll take me up on it. There's a reason why I always go with an entourage."
Fred glared at him, then turned her attention to Wesley and Gunn. "How about it?"
"I told Angel not to do it," Wesley spoke sternly, his arms folded in front of his chest.
"I don't do shopping, baby; you know that." Gunn yawned and stretched further out on the couch.
Fred fixed the lot of them with her most fierce glare, then slunk out the door to collect Cordelia's packages, muttering to herself the whole while. If Cordy was this terrible a shopaholic, she never wanted to see Lorne shop!
The End
Still Going, posted 5-24-17, rated K/G
Characters: Lorne
Lorne says goodbye at the end of the series.
Lorne watches rain fall from his safe seat at the world's end. He used to dance in the rain. When he first came to this world, he'd had to learn to dance in it; he'd done it. He'd adapted. He'd learned. He'd made a world within a world for himself first with Caritas and then with Angel's group . . .
Now it's all over. Very soon, he'll be the only one left. He tried so hard to make them listen, to bring them away from the brink, but none of them would, especially his Angelcakes. Lorne cries, whispers goodbye, and keeps on.
The End
Still Love's Bitch, posted 4-7-13, rated PG-13/T
Characters: Spike/Angel
He was the biggest joke of all.
He enjoyed laughing at teenagers fumbling all over themselves with their twisting hearts and raging hormones. They remained jokes while growing older, still constantly sacrificing everything. Spike couldn't believe the little Prom Queen went to rags while blindly following the Great Poof's hero quest with him still lamenting over Buffy.
But that was long ago. He's watched all but Angel die. He knows the truth at last as he cries while watching Angel mourning in sunlight. He's the greatest fool of all, because even now, he's still love's bitch, still reaching for the hero who'll never again caress the damned.
The End
Tears of An Angel, posted 5-20-13, rated K+/PG
Characters: Angel/Cordelia, Angel/Buffy
Cordelia cries in Heaven.
She looked down from Heaven upon her friends and cried as she saw her love holding another woman. She remembered the Slayer smirking once when Principal Snyder had remarked about being able to make something even out of moldy bread and had looked directly at her and Xander. She'd made something of herself, although it'd been nowhere close to the actress she'd once thought she wanted to be. She had given her life to save the world, and her repayment was that Buffy should get her Angel. Cordelia turned away, wings fluttering and tears falling, and into Doyle's waiting arms.
The End
The Eye of the Beholder, posted 5-8-12, rated K/G
Characters: Doyle, Cordy
Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder.
They watched as their latest clients filed out and saw the young girl pause. "Just a minute, Daddy." She ran back, threw her tiny arms around her Vampire hero, and hugged him tightly.
"Now," Doyle said, turning to Cordy in the office, "ye can nae tell me tha' 'tis nae lovely."
"Of course it is!" Cordy grinned, turning to face him, and Doyle realized she was actually still gazing at their check. "This check's the best thing I've seen in a long time!"
"An' th' kid does nae mean anythin' tae ye?"
"What kid?"
Doyle groaned and rolled his eyes helplessly.
The End
Characters: Cordelia, Ensemble
Doyle called her Princess first, but now Cordy really feels the part.
"Argh!" Cordelia cries, toppling forward as another vision grips her mind. Instantly, her guys are there beside her, covering her with comforting hands. Gunn and Lorne are on either of her sides. Wesley tires to hold her at first but moves aside at one, silent look from Angel.
Her other guys still don't leave her as Angel picks her up and starts carrying her to the couch. She knows they're there for she can feel them touching her gently on any part of her they can reach through Angel's protective hold. She even feels Lorne's cool, manicured hands on her ankles, of all places. In their desperation to make sure she's okay, they're striving to touch her in any way they can and far unlike anybody else who's ever wanted to get some Cordelia Chase on them.
It almost makes her feel like a pop star, but she can't let them see her smiling as she recites her vision in a dazed voice lest they think her not in so much pain and, thereby, cease to care quite so much about her. She can't see her, but she knows Fred's trailing behind them as she scribbles down every word Cordelia speaks. Every word she speaks, everything she can remember from her vision, is golden. They never know exactly what information they'll need, but they know they'll need her vision.
She's almost reluctant for Angel to put her on the couch, but she can't stop him from delicately lowering her onto the couch that's genuine leather because they know she prefers it that way. He hovers beside her, stroking her hair, and she relishes his fingers and soft caresses as her boys again run around the office. There is no personal bubble here, nor does she ever want there to be one again between them.
Wesley fluffs her silk and velvet pillows and puts them carefully behind her head as Angel lifts her one more time for the night. Gunn runs to get her pain pills while Lorne pours her a goblet of his finest champagne. They're by her side again in an instant, all more concerned with her than her visions until Fred humbly clears her throat and says, "Hum, guys, we have a life to save here."
She sees the reluctance in all their eyes. They're afraid to leave her, to even more from her, like she's a fragile doll who might break if they so much as breathe the wrong way. "Go," she says, knowing the innocent is more important than her.
She manages to let a part of the smile she feels in her heart come to her lips despite the red-hot pain pulsating through her brain. "I'll be fine," she tells them, and she knows she will be. Despite the pain of the visions, and the way they're deteriorating her brain, Cordy knows she'll be fine because of them. Each of them are her heroes, though no more so than her beloved Angel, and Cordy knows they'll keep her safe.
She still remembers when she wanted so desperately to be rid of her visions, even to the point that she kissed Wesley again. It took her a long time to accept her visions, but now, she wouldn't give anything for them. Again, it's because of them for in their love and caring, they finally make her feel like a true Princess and not just the mean and cold bitch Queen C. She's no longer mean, and she's never cold now. Angel and Doyle taught her how to care, and thanks to all her guys, Cordelia's heart is always warmed by love now. When she was a Queen, it was a title she'd earned through power, heartlessness, and ruthless cunning, but now as a Princess, she is loved and cherished above all else in her world. A true and full smile lights Cordelia's face. She forgets her pain in the true love she feels. She is a true Princess, and she wouldn't give that, this wonderful feeling, or her visions up for anything.
The End
Revenge, posted 5-12-13, rated K+/PG
Characters: Angel+/Cordelia, Gunn
Revenge is all he has left.
He was quiet for a long time at her grave before he finally growled, "Demon possession."
Wesley promptly nodded. "It's the only explanation for Jasmine. There is no other plausible reason for our Cordelia to birth a grown, African American woman."
Gunn's eyes flicked to Wes. He was the only one who had mentioned the race thing. He understood, and the Brit was right. "We're gonna kill her, aren't we?"
"Long and slow," Angel snarled. Without his Cordelia, he wanted nothing more than to walk into sunlight as soon as the giant ball of fire rose, but there was revenge to exact.
The End
See Me, posted 7-18-06, rated T/PG-13
Characters: Angel/Cordelia
Not even the Seer sees everything.
Do you remember when it happened?
Do you remember when he died,
Leaving you with a gift whose value
We have questioned again and again?
Do you remember when they captured you,
Tried to sell your eyes,
A treasure beyond anything
The world has ever known before?
They wanted them for your power,
For your visions, for your gift
For they thought that they
Enabled you to see anything.
They were wrong for
Though your beautiful eyes will always be
A treasure beyond compare,
You do not see everything.
Oh, you probably think you do,
And others would believe you do.
I know they do,
But I also know the truth.
You have seen so much,
But you can not see
What aches to be seen,
What yearns to be accepted by you.
You have seen so much.
You have seen
Your world turned upside down
Only to be righted again by hands
You thought did not care.
You have seen
Monsters both real and imagined -
The ghosts and goblins
Ordinary mortals do not believe in
And the demons of memories
That haunt your mind.
You have seen the end of time.
You have seen the world saved many a time.
But still, you have not seen it all.
You have seen the incredible -
People bow down at your feet,
An entire world that admires you.
You have seen the horrible -
Humans held captive as slaves,
Every one you care for the most go astray.
You have seen the impossible -
A Vampire walking in the day,
A boy grow years in mere weeks.
But still, you have not seen it all.
You have seen me like
No other before ever has
And no one else ever will.
You have seen me at my best;
You have seen me at my worst.
You have seen me save the world;
You have seen me weaker than any would believe.
But still, you have not seen it all.
Open your eyes, Cordelia, and look.
Just here, in front of you,
What do you see?
A man? A monster?
I am both, but I am more and less.
A hero? A loser?
I am both, but I am more and less.
Let down your shields, and see inside me
As I know you can if you only let yourself.
Look into my eyes and see me,
Standing before you,
My soul barren and naked in my eyes,
See me here, waiting for you.
Please, Cordelia, see me.
Do not just look at me.
Do not look through me.
But see me.
See me for all that I am.
Let yourself see the real me.
See me for everything that I am,
Everything that is here before you,
Waiting, yearning, crying out desperately,
To be seen by you, To be loved by you.
Look up into my eyes, and see me.
See me for all that I am.
See me for everything that I am
For everything that I am
Is yours alone for the taking.
You have but to see me,
To accept all that I am offering you,
All that is yours,
All that I am.
Please, Cordy, see me.
The End
She Needs Him, posted 5-7-13, rated PG-13/T
Characters: Angel/Cordelia, Lorne
She needs him.
She's dressed perfectly glamorously today in a low-cut, tight blouse and a short skirt that would make any grown man drool. Her fingers through her hair; her jiggling breasts draw tight. The light shines on her throat as she massages her neck. "I need a man," she groans lustfully.
Angel walks pass her, out the door, and into the night as Wesley and Gunn trip over themselves in their rush to volunteer. Lorne comfortingly rubs her shoulder; Cordelia droops. "He really must be dead, Brown Eyes, not to see you." She knows it's true, but it doesn't hurt any less.
The End
She Wasn't Supposed To Feel, posted 5-27-11, rated PG/K+
Characters: Angel/Cordelia, Doyle
Cordelia knew she wasn't supposed to feel this way, and yet doing so is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to her.
She wasn't supposed to feel like this. She wasn't supposed to take pride in her work. After all, she should not even have to work. She was a Princess or, at least, a very wealthy and beautiful young woman who had total right to all the power, prestige, fame, and money in the world. She should have suitors lining up before her, each waiting eagerly to award her with diamonds, a limousine, or even just humongous bank accounts. She shouldn't have to work, and she certainly shouldn't like that work.
She also should not care about that work or the people it affected, and yet, she found herself caring more and more. Every one with any real brains knew that caring was a disease. It ate away at you until you became a sap ready to be picked at and used as the world's punching bag. And really, what did caring get you any way? Angel had been sent to Hell, Buffy had been killed, and Willow . . . Well, Willow was Willow, and that certainly said it all for that poor, wanna-be loser. Cordelia knew no one who cared about the world more than those three, and they'd certainly suffered far too much because of their caring.
It had still managed to crawl beneath even her tough hide, however, and no matter how hard she tried, Cordy just couldn't seem to shake it. She couldn't seem to help being pleased by the hugs and smiles of their clients, and joy beamed through her like radiant sunshine every time they saved a life - and, of course, got paid for the job. Saving lives was good, but money was still better. It may still feel good to save a life without getting paid for it, but it felt way better to get paid for the job.
That's what these people were, she reminded herself, watching Angel Investigations' latest clients file out of the office. They were a means to a paycheck. Helping them paid her bills. That's why she was still here, and she wouldn't be here for long. She'd get that call from Hollywood and get all the wealth and fame she deserved when the time for her big role came. Her star would shine, and these people would be only a distant memory.
As would the slime that now covered her. Man, how she needed a bath! Part of her still couldn't believe that she had dove in between that Demon and the little girl and kitten it had been launching to attack. What had she been thinking? She could have been killed, and then her star would never have come!
Cordelia's grin had still been firmly in place, but it had become faked as the family had started to leave and her thoughts had turned inward. Then her hazel eyes spied the little girl still standing in the doorway, the tiny, fluffy kitten clutched tightly in her small, pudgy arms, and Cordelia's smile, and soul, lifted again. She wasn't supposed to care, she thought as the mother returned, smiled at her and her co-workers, and pulled the girl and kitty away. She wasn't supposed to care or feel this way, but she couldn't help it.
"Aye, Princess, ye did well taenight," Doyle spoke, grinning, as he clasped her shoulder.
Cordelia looked up and found herself gazing not into Doyle's eyes but into Angel's. Her heart gave a jump that was becoming ever more familiar in the brooding hero's presence. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, either, she thought. After all, nothing could come from these feelings that Angel was stirring in her. Sure, he was a drop-dead, yumalicious hunk, but he was also dead. He also certainly couldn't have any real fun, thanks to the curse that couldn't be broken without all Hell literally breaking lose again.
But still she her heart hammered in her chest, her breath became shorter and more ragged, and her palms sweated as Angel moved closer. Still she wondered how it would feel to be held by those strong, caring arms. Would his touch be cold, or it would be as scorchingly, breath-takingly hot as it was in her every good dream? What would it be like to be his love, to have him wrapped all around her, to have him dedicating his soul and life to her instead of some blonde bitch who had certainly never deserved him as she'd sent him to Hell instead of really trying to save him?
What would it be like to be loved by her Angel, to feel his lips upon hers, to taste the sweet ecstasy of his kiss? Part of Cordelia feared that she would never know the answer to those questions that plagued her every moment, but she was already beginning to figure out that she'd never stop wondering or dreaming of him. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, but she couldn't help it. She'd tried. She'd used every trick known to womankind to get over the dashing Vampire Knight before her. She'd gone out with so many guys that she couldn't even remember all their names, and to be honest, she no longer tried because none of them were Angel.
She'd tried telling herself time and again of all the many, many reasons why she should never become involved with him. He was her boss; he was her best friend. A romance with her boss could end with her being fired, and, as much as she hated to admit it, she needed this job. A romance with her best friend could cost her that friend. Plus, if she lost Angel, she'd also lose Doyle, such as he was, and she'd be truly, completely alone again. A shudder usually passed through her every time she thought of being alone for she couldn't bare even the mere thought of that loneliness happening to her ever again, but this time, it didn't for Angel held her riveted as he moved closer.
Angel grinned, and Cordelia blinked, wondering if he'd somehow figured out her secret. He nodded then, and a warmth spread through her as he agreed simply and softly, "Yeah." She didn't know that he ached to touch her, too, as Doyle so brazenly did but feared she'd recoil from his touch in repulsion. His gaze spoke volumes to her, however, and burned her more thoroughly than any one else's touch ever had as he looked into her eyes.
She wondered, fleetingly, if he could see into her soul, if he could possibly know how deeply she cared for him, how truly she loved him, but then he was gone, walking pass her as though nothing had ever happened. Yet it had, Cordelia realized. She had finally gotten Angel's attention. He had acknowledged her bravery, a bravery she, as a pom-pom-pushing, rich-girl cheerleader wasn't even supposed to have.
She bounced on her feet, beaming as brilliantly as any sun or moon ever had, even as her beloved hero walked away. He had noticed her! The man, the Vampire, the hero she loved had noticed her, and he'd said she'd done well, which, of course, she had! "You're both right, of course," she said, grinning from ear to ear as she turned to her male companions. "I did do good tonight, and I think I deserve a reward! Who wants to take me shopping?"
She giggled as the guys groaned. They couldn't faze her tonight. Nothing could, not after what she'd just done and learned! Angel had looked at her! Her love had truly seen her at last! Cordelia laughed, her hazel eyes and beautiful smile dancing in pure delight and love. She wasn't supposed to feel this way, she admitted silently, but it certainly felt wonderful and she never wanted it to stop!
The End
Shopping Demons, posted 5-6-09, rated PG/K+
Characters: Angel/Cordy, Ensemble
Angel learns one thing he doesn't want to do with Cordelia, and at the end of their date, they astound their friends.
Four heads lifted in curiosity as the door opened and a mixture of packages in all shapes and sizes came tumbling into the room. Behind them came their boss, his clothes torn to rags, his legs wobbling, and his dark, spiky hair in complete disarray. Every one spoke at once even as Fred rushed to help.
"Aw, Angel, don't tell me y'all were interrupted - !"
"She didn't - ?!" Gunn cried, his brown eyes as big as saucers. "Man, I knew she wanted ya bad, but," he whistled, "daaamn!"
"Angel, why wouldn't you listen to me?" Wesley implored. "I tried to warn you how terrible a shop addict Cordelia is."
"Don't look at me, sweetcakes," Lorne said, surveying his nails that Fred had just painted. "I offered to take her shopping, but nnooo, you had to do it yourself." His yellow eyes raised to Angel's dark orbs. "Why must you do everything the hard way?" the green Demon asked in a partially pleading voice.
Gunn looked at Lorne and Wesley. "No way she did all that shopping!"
Fred was now beside Angel, hurriedly gathering the packages that were falling out of his tired arms. "Of course she didn't!" She looked up at Angel in concern. "Where is Cordy?"
Angel jerked his head in the direction of the doorway, then sank into the nearest chair. Fred's arms were full, so she opted to use her foot instead to push the door open. Cordelia was still coming up the walkway, swinging a few bags in her arms. The second biggest grin, seconded only to her smile when Angel had finally professed his love to her, was on her face, and she was still chattering away, not realizing that Angel was already inside.
"Oh, Angel, thanks again so much for all of this! But next time, let's go to - " She finally stopped talking and looked around as she reached the door. She looked all around, glancing behind her several times. "Fred," she asked at last, "where's Angel?"
Fred opened the door wider, her own mouth still partially agape, and Cordelia grinned when she spied Angel sagged down into the recliner. "Newbie," she teased lightly before swaying her way to him, grasping his hand, and tugging at him to follow her. "Come on, let's go try on that new suit."
Angel sighed but did not complain, his mind on the fact that the sooner he reached their bedroom, the sooner he could lay down on the bed. He let Cordelia lead him away as Fred called to them, "Guys! Guys! GUYS!"
"Aw, leave the lovebirds alone," Lorne told her.
"But," she asked exasperatedly, "who's going to go out there and pick up all those packages?!"
At the mingle of the guys' voices questioning her in confusion, Fred held the door open wider. Gunn's mouth dropped open; Wesley sighed. Lorne shook his head at the sight of the multitude of packages that were strewn between the door all the way out of sight and beyond, he couldn't help but to presume, to where Angel had parked the car. "You've got to love a girl who knows how to shop!"
"Good," Fred told him. "Then you can help me pick them up!"
"Don't look at me, cupcake. Just like I told Angel cakes: I offered to take her shopping, but he declined my invitation. Perhaps next time he'll take me up on it. There's a reason why I always go with an entourage."
Fred glared at him, then turned her attention to Wesley and Gunn. "How about it?"
"I told Angel not to do it," Wesley spoke sternly, his arms folded in front of his chest.
"I don't do shopping, baby; you know that." Gunn yawned and stretched further out on the couch.
Fred fixed the lot of them with her most fierce glare, then slunk out the door to collect Cordelia's packages, muttering to herself the whole while. If Cordy was this terrible a shopaholic, she never wanted to see Lorne shop!
The End
Still Going, posted 5-24-17, rated K/G
Characters: Lorne
Lorne says goodbye at the end of the series.
Lorne watches rain fall from his safe seat at the world's end. He used to dance in the rain. When he first came to this world, he'd had to learn to dance in it; he'd done it. He'd adapted. He'd learned. He'd made a world within a world for himself first with Caritas and then with Angel's group . . .
Now it's all over. Very soon, he'll be the only one left. He tried so hard to make them listen, to bring them away from the brink, but none of them would, especially his Angelcakes. Lorne cries, whispers goodbye, and keeps on.
The End
Still Love's Bitch, posted 4-7-13, rated PG-13/T
Characters: Spike/Angel
He was the biggest joke of all.
He enjoyed laughing at teenagers fumbling all over themselves with their twisting hearts and raging hormones. They remained jokes while growing older, still constantly sacrificing everything. Spike couldn't believe the little Prom Queen went to rags while blindly following the Great Poof's hero quest with him still lamenting over Buffy.
But that was long ago. He's watched all but Angel die. He knows the truth at last as he cries while watching Angel mourning in sunlight. He's the greatest fool of all, because even now, he's still love's bitch, still reaching for the hero who'll never again caress the damned.
The End
Tears of An Angel, posted 5-20-13, rated K+/PG
Characters: Angel/Cordelia, Angel/Buffy
Cordelia cries in Heaven.
She looked down from Heaven upon her friends and cried as she saw her love holding another woman. She remembered the Slayer smirking once when Principal Snyder had remarked about being able to make something even out of moldy bread and had looked directly at her and Xander. She'd made something of herself, although it'd been nowhere close to the actress she'd once thought she wanted to be. She had given her life to save the world, and her repayment was that Buffy should get her Angel. Cordelia turned away, wings fluttering and tears falling, and into Doyle's waiting arms.
The End
The Eye of the Beholder, posted 5-8-12, rated K/G
Characters: Doyle, Cordy
Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder.
They watched as their latest clients filed out and saw the young girl pause. "Just a minute, Daddy." She ran back, threw her tiny arms around her Vampire hero, and hugged him tightly.
"Now," Doyle said, turning to Cordy in the office, "ye can nae tell me tha' 'tis nae lovely."
"Of course it is!" Cordy grinned, turning to face him, and Doyle realized she was actually still gazing at their check. "This check's the best thing I've seen in a long time!"
"An' th' kid does nae mean anythin' tae ye?"
"What kid?"
Doyle groaned and rolled his eyes helplessly.
The End
